Primetimely

This installment of the Prime Times is all about the cool guest stars we’ll all get to see on our favorite shows… in a few months’ time. Sorry for the blue balls, folks.

• With the seventh-season premiere a torturous three months away, Showtime has released a teaser-trailerfocusing on the fallout from last season’s “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain with a knife” finale.
• More details are surfacing about the second season of FX’s creepfest American Horror Story. Now we know that Jessica Lange will play a nun and administrator (presumably in the 1960s-era East Coast insane asylum, which was previously announced as the season’s setting). And filling out the cast are Adam Levine and James Cromwell.
• ER reunion ho! Maura Tierney will recur on the next season of The Good Wife, sharing the screen once again with Julianna Margulies. According to Deadline, Tierney will play “a self-made millionaire who has become the doyenne of Chicago Democratic politics.” (Have I mentioned that I’m a self-made hundredaire who has become the doyenne of East Harlem television-news reporting?)
• Casting Gods, take notice! Michelle Williams is positively itching to play a bit part on Cougar Townalongside her best friend and Dawson’s Creek costar Busy Philipps.
• After not being picked up by ABC, Devious Maids—the latest pilot from Marc Cherry of Desperate Housewives fame—is headed to Lifetime. And that’s good because Susan Lucci seems like an actress who belongs on Lifetime.
• Everybody Loves Raymond‘s Ray Romano will have a recurring role in the next season of Parenthood, playing a photographer who may possibly come between Sarah and Mark.
• Television personalities getting their own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame include Bryan Cranston, Ellen DeGeneres, Jane Lynch, Katey Sagal, Matthew Perry, and… Mentalist Simon Baker?
• No doubt hoping to expunge his time served on A Gifted Man, Patrick Wilson will guest-star in the next season of HBO’s Girls, playing a maybe-sorta-possible love interest to Lena Dunham’s Hannah.
• Have I mentioned that I’m wildly jealous of Lena Dunham for being a year older than me and, like, 1,000 times more famous? (And maybe, like, 4 times more talented as a writer!)
• Vulture has a great article on the television artistes who have nominated themselves for Emmys this year… no matter how questionable their work is. Stop me when you hear someone/something deserving of Emmy gold: Jennifer Love Hewitt, the actress… Jennifer Love Hewitt, the director… Joe Jonas… I Hate My Teenage Daughter… Supah Ninjas… Sophia Bush of One Tree Hill…
• Downton Abbey fans, if you’ve been hankering to sneak a peak at Shirley MacLaine in action as Martha Levinson, mother of Lady Cora, here’s your chance.
• The latest guest-star to be announced for the next season of Californication is that most upstanding citizen Marilyn Manson.
• The second annual Critics’ Choice Television Awards were announced last week, and here’s a handy breakdown of the winners, thanks to EW.com:
  

  Best Drama Series
  Homeland

  Best Actor in a Drama Series
  Bryan Cranston – Breaking Bad

  Best Actress in a Drama Series
  Claire Danes – Homeland

  Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
  Giancarlo Esposito – Breaking Bad

  Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
  Christina Hendricks – Mad Men

  Best Guest Performer in a Drama Series
  Lucy Liu – Southland

  Best Reality Series
  Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

  Best Reality Series – Competition
  The Voice

  Best Reality Show Host – TIE
  Tom Bergeron – Dancing With the Stars
  Cat Deeley – So You Think You Can Dance

  Best Talk Show
  Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

  Best Comedy Series
  Community

  Best Actor in a Comedy Series
  Louis C.K. – Louie

  Best Actress in a Comedy Series — TIE
  Zooey Deschanel – New Girl
  Amy Poehler – Parks and Recreation

  Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
  Ty Burrell – Modern Family

  Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy
  Julie Bowen – Modern Family

  Best Guest Performer in a Comedy Series
  Paul Rudd – Parks and Recreation

  Best Animated Series
  Archer

  Best Movie/Miniseries
  Sherlock

  Best Actor in a Movie/Miniseries
  Benedict Cumberbatch – Sherlock

  Best Actress in a Movie/Miniseries
  Julianne Moore – Game Change

  Most Exciting New Series
  The Following 
  The Mindy Project
  Nashville 
  The Newsroom
  Political Animals

  No huge surprises there, but a lot of delight. And that last category, Most Exciting New Series, is especially fun.

• And, for any of you still reading, please enjoy this truly horrible scene from Ringer. Maybe now I’m not regretting never having watched…