Primetimely » The Biz

Episodic Blockbusters = Commercial Magic

Dan Clarendon — Fri, 11 May 2012 14:41:31 +0000

(Revised! See the afterword below!)

The recent box office success of The Avengers got me wondering: why don’t blockbusters ever start on the small-screen? Why can’t the stories behind these tentpole movies (which are often novels or comics) be reformatted episodically and aired as limited-run series? Wouldn’t advertisers be tripping over themselves to put their commercials in such a broadcast? Wasn’t the six-part Roots adaptation one of the highest-rated television events ever?

That got me to running some numbers. Let’s imagine the final Harry Potter book as a 36-part series by arbitrarily splitting the story into the novel’s 36 chapters (grouping the epilogue in with the last chapter). Such a series would run nicely between the beginning of September and the end of May—the span of the normal broadcast TV season—even if the series took a week off for the winter holidays. And for the gross, let’s use that of the last must-see TV event, this year’s Super Bowl.

Average cost of a Super Bowl XLVI commercial, according to Forbes: $3.5 million
Total number of 30-second commercials in a Harry Potter series, even each of the 36 episodes had 3 minutes for commercial breaks: 216
Total gross for 216 commercials, with each one priced at $3.5 million: $756 million
Total domestic gross of both Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallow films, according to IMDB: $676 million

Granted, maintaining a Super Bowl-sized audience over the span of nine months would be tough, nay impossible! So let’s say advertisers were only willing to pay half that. So, to compensate, the network would have to allocate six minutes for commercial breaks. But that’s still fine, since most TV dramas air around three times that amount of ads per hour—usually 18 minutes or so. So just for funsies, let’s adjust the model to that norm.

Total number of 30-second commercials in a Harry Potter series, even each of the 36 episodes had 18 minutes for commercial breaks: 1,296
Total gross for 1,296 commercials, with each one priced at $1.75 million (half the Super Bowl price): $2.27 billion
Total domestic gross of both Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallow films, according to IMDB: $676 million

But really, it would make more sense to just let one advertiser have exclusive rights to an episode’s commercials. (Often, a company will sponsor a TV episode with limited commercial interruption if theirs are the only ads run.)

Okay, but what about the production cost?

Reported budget for both Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallow films: $250 million
That production cost split over 36 episodes: just under $7 million
Average budget for a broadcast drama episode: $2-3 million

Not so impressive, I admit But let me refer you back to the gross of 2.27 billion!

Let’s think about the other benefits.

At least 1,500 minutes of running time, more than five times the 276-minute running time of both films—and the latter count may even include each film’s ten-minute credit scroll! Think of how richer, how fuller, and how truer-to-the-book a TV adaptation could be with that much breathing room.
Whichever network runs the series could bank off of its mammoth audience every week, succeeding each installment with an episode of a show in dire need of exposure… like an ambitious series about a detective leading parallel lives in intersecting universes… or an exquisitely-worded, modern-day parable based on David and Goliath. (Just examples, naturally)
And oh man, the DVD profits! A movie is usually released on DVD for $20. A 22-episode television season runs $45. So a landmark 36-episode series? $60 a pop? $70?

Now, I’m no expert at the actual business side of television, so this is all conjecture. And surely if this were a feasible model, the studios and network would be brokering deals already. But can someone explain to me why this wouldn’t work? Can someone explain to me why best-selling authors have to be offered movie options instead of television options? Not to slight the movie series, but it seems to me that if Harry Potter’s cinematic saga played out on screens small instead of big; the ratings, profits, and benefits would be spellbinding.

Edits: My friends Liz and Omid raised excellent points. Liz countered that a Harry Potter television series couldn’t match the movie series in budget per unit of time—as in, the amount of money spent on each glorious frame. Splitting that budget across five times the screen time would certainly desaturate the of visual effects, so to speak. But, as I said to Liz, I think that the Potter movies contained the most pivotal scenes, which were probably also the most climactic and effects-heavy. The omitted scenes—scenes that a TV series would have time for—are likely to consist of characters in rooms talking to one another. And even if more effects were needed, the huge potential profit would be more than enough justification for a slightly higher budget.

She also argued that a TV series wouldn’t be as enticing to big-name actors and directors. That’s a fair point, not because TV is less prestigious than film nowadays—in fact, more and more A-list talent is migrating to the small screen—but because of the time commitment. It’s hard enough wrangling TV actors to work 10 months on a season of 22 episodes, each running 42 minutes; let alone one that’s comprised of 36 episodes with longer running times.

And Omid broached the economics of the Internet. Indeed, Hulu, wondrous as it is, is hardly profitable; and the comfort of knowing you could catch each installment of a Harry Potter television series online the next day wouldn’t exactly make the episode appointment viewing on the night it airs. So until Hulu makes beaucoup moolah, maybe a blockbuster series should be only available for download and viewing on stores like iTunes.

2012 Pilot Watch

Dan Clarendon — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 00:37:59 +0000

I’ve barely had the opportunity to check out this current season’s new shows (damn you, full time job!), but it is indeed February which means the networks are busy ordering pilots for next fall. After studying the lineup provided by EW.com, I’ve made the following observations. Warning: harsh and perhaps unfair first impressions ahead!

Remakes are no longer en vogue but are still extant: NBC has producer Bryan Fuller (Dead Like Me, Pushing Daisies) putting his own spin on The Munsters in a pilot called Mockingbird Lane, and ABC and the CW are both developing Beauty and the Beast adaptations.
Some pilots’ titles are very literal, which can either be a good thing (Fox’s comedy Prodigy Bully) or a bad thing (CBS’s drama Widow Detective and ABC’s drama Devious Maids).
Other terrible titles abound throughout the list. I love the idea of ABC’s period drama from Shonda Rhimes (about the opening of a luxury New York hotel in 1895), but I can’t stand the title, Gilded Lillys. CBS’s comedy about a playboy blogger who lands a hosting gig on public radio sounds funny, but the title Living Loaded makes it sound like low-rent entertainment. And though it’s a great word and super-fun to say, Scruples is just too weird of a moniker for ABC’s drama about a woman who goes from zero to Beverly-Hills-boutique-owning hero.
I have no inclination to watch another Dick Wolf procedural. Can you guess what NBC’s Chicago Fire is about?
That said, NBC has a lot of potential on its dramatic slate. Beautiful People chronicles an uprising of a robot servant class. The Frontier satisfies all my Oregon Trail nostalgia. Bad Girls sounds like a grittier version of the “Cellblock Tango” sequence in Chicago. County, a story about a hospital struggling with both its morality and its funding comes from producer Jason Katims and star Jason Ritter, whose joint work on Parenthood rocks. And hey, Midnight Sun has Alaska and communes and conspiracies!
CBS’s drama Quean has two strikes against it. The title, which I presume to be the protagonist’s surname, sounds like a fetishistic sex act. And the description is seriously dated: “An edgy and independent millennial-hacker girl teams up with an Oakland police detective to solve crimes.” Uh, “millennial-hacker girl”? Hey, 1999 called: it wants its logline back.
Furthermore, dear writers of CBS’s Friend Me, making Groupon your protagonists’ employer—and, frankly, calling your comedy Friend Me—reeks of a desperate ploy to appear current.
Roseanne Barr is returning to scripted TV in NBC’s comedy Downwardly Mobile, in which she plays the mother hen of a trailer park filled with down-on-their-luck characters. I’m down with that premise, but I’m seriously biased against multi-camera sitcoms (i.e. sitcoms with three-sided sets, unnatural lighting, and laugh tracks). I think this show would be a lot more appealing if the trailer park were more of a world and less of a set.
Otherwise funny people like Jimmy Fallon, Sarah Silverman, and Mindy Kaling are writing comedies that sound pretty blah. Then again, I can’t imagine Friends had an exciting logline either.
The supernatural once again gets a lot of play this pilot season, especially on ABC. In Gotham, a woman discovers an unseen, magical world in New York City that reinvents familiar landmarks in an “otherworldly manner”. (Consider my curiosity piqued.) And in 666 Park Ave., a couple becomes the managers of a historic and supernatural apartment building. (Sort of an old conceit, but an evergreen one.)
The CW is creating a prequel to Sex and the City based on author Candace Bushnell’s novel The Carrie Diaries. Bear in mind that the network already tried doing an 80s-set spin-off of Gossip Girl, and that never got off the ground.
The Selection, a drama pilot in the works at the CW, is about a young girl from a poor family who is, well, selected to compete to become an embattled country’s queen. It’s not The Hunger Games, but it sounds awfully close.
Continuing TV’s fixation with the 1960s (read: Mad Men, The Playboy Club, Pan Am), CBS is developing a drama about Ralph Lamb, a real-life rodeo cowboy in who became a Las Vegas sheriff in that decade. I love the era, I’m curious about the premise… might I be lassoed in?
I’m also intrigued by J.J. Abrams’ latest project, NBC’s drama Revolution, which features a society suddenly devoid of energy. (I’m assuming we’re talking energy sources here.)
But my favorite premise is that of ABC’s Last Resort, a drama about a submarine crew that goes rogue, stations the craft in a NATO outpost, and stakes their place as a new nuclear nation.

2011 Emmys: My (Overdue) Recap

Dan Clarendon — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 19:22:59 +0000

Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned. It’s been months and months since my last blog post. And in that time span, the Emmys broadcast came and went, uncommented on—until now! Yes, though it may be ridiculously belated, I’m here to opine, ruminate, and wax poetic on all things Emmy. Hey, at least I’m doing so before next year’s broadcast…

Even though the opening number didn’t wow me (until the Mad Men bit, that is), I still think Jane Lynch made for a fine Emmy host, and I hope the producers continue to make unexpected choices for the hosting gig for future ceremonies.
All hail Modern Family. Not only was it chosen as Outstanding Comedy Series, but Phil and Claire Dunphy themselves, Ty Burrell and Julie Bowen, were chosen as the comedy world’s best supporting actor and actress. Plus, the show also took home awards for its writing and directing.
That said, I could have used some more Parks and Recreation lovin’, since that show jockeys in my mind with Modern Family for the best comedy on TV right now.
I loved Melissa McCarthy on Samantha Who? (and I hear she was just as lovable in Gilmore Girls), and now she’s finally getting her moment in the sun, what with a scene-stealing turn in Bridesmaids, Emmy gold for Mike & Molly, and a recent critically-adored hosting job on SNL.
Still haven’t watched The Big Bang Theory, but congrats to Jim Parsons nonetheless for nabbing Outstanding Actor in a Comedy Series. I’d be eager to watch, but I just have too much television on my plate.
Once again, The Daily Show is hailed as the best of all variety, music, and comedy series—and I feel shameful that I haven’t even gone to see a live taping here in New York.
It was hugely gratifying to see Margo Martindale win for her role as Mama on the criminally-underrated Justified. And I’d nominate Mama’s “apple pie” in Most Tantalizing Moonshine category.
It seems like fans of Friday Night Lights bemoan its lack of attention, so I felt some vicarious vindication when Kyle Chandler won for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series. Still, I was rooting for Justified‘s Timothy Olyphant…
Julianna Margulies? Love her. Love everything about her. Love The Good Wife. Yep.
As much as I enjoy The Amazing Race, I think that Top Chef put up a better season this year. Both shows brought back former “also-ran” contestants to compete again this season, but Top Chef‘s contest was just more engaging.
Much as I enjoy Grey’s Anatomy (discounting the fact that I get paid to enjoy it), I do think that Loretta Divine deserved the show’s one and only acting nomination, and I’m tickled that she won it, because this scene is definitely Emmy material.
When I saw Kate Winslet in the audience, I assumed she was just there for show. Then I remembered (and then she won for) her role in HBO’s Mildred Pierce miniseries. And that’s great, because she’s just so freakin’ likable.
Much as I love Mad Men, I found myself a little dismayed that it won this year again. Seems to me that any of the other four shows (Dexter, The Good Wife, Friday Night Lights, Game of Thrones) would be just as worthy. Is Mad Men Fatigue possible? And if so, is it justifiable? I guess it’s a high-class problem to be tired of a show being consistently excellent.
Most pressingly, when the hell will I be recognized by the Emmy voters for Outstanding if Infrequent Television Blogger or Outstanding if Overconfident Talent for an Unproduced Television Writer?

2011 Pilot Watch

Dan Clarendon — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 05:32:55 +0000

The start of the current television season doesn’t feel too long ago, but already, the broadcast networks are putting together their fall slates and ordering pilot episodes of potential new series. After the scouring the intel rounded up by The Futon Critic, here are my thoughts on the lineup.

The paranormal and supernatural continue to capture the imaginations of network execs: they’ve greenlit pilots about superpowers (FOX’s Touch, CBS’s The Rememberer), magic (NBC’s 17th Pricinct), angels (CBS’s untitled Susannah Grant project, The CW’s Heavenly), zombies (The CW’s Awakening), witches (The CW’s Secret Circle), fairy tales (ABC’s Once Upon a Time, NBC’s Grimm), haunted houses (FOX’s Locke & Key), alternate universes (NBC’s REM), and forces of good and evil (ABC’s Hallelujah).
Remakes are ever-popular. The television series Charlie’s Angels, Wonder Woman, Prime Suspect are being remade for ABC, NBC, and NBC, respectively.
Mean neighborhoods are the settings for three ABC pilots—or really, mean subdivisions: Good Christian Bitches, Revenge, and Suburgatory.
Four pilots highlight the agony and the ecstasy of being young in New York City: CBS’s Two Broke Girls, ABC’s Lost & Found, The CW’s Hart of Dixie, FOX’s Chicks and Dicks.
Some pilots are more unique in their setting: the Amazon (ABC’s The River), 1840s Boston (ABC’s Poe), the friendly skies of the Jet Age (ABC’s Pan Am), a Plymouth Plantation living history museum (NBC’s Brave New World), a Playboy Club in 1960s New York City (NBC’s Playboy), and Reconstruction-era America (NBC’s The Crossing).
ABC has two bitchy pilots in development: the comedy Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apt. 23 (featuring none other than James Van Der Beek) and the drama Good Christian Bitches, both of bitch—sorry—both of which will probably be renamed if they make it to air.
There are plenty of impressive names to go along with the pilots: Ashley Judd (ABC’s Missing), Zooey Deschanel (FOX’s Chicks and Dicks), Sarah Michelle Gellar (CBS’s Ringer), Tim Allen (ABC’s The Last Days of Man), Ethan Hawke (FOX’s Exit Strategy), Kiefer Sutherland (FOX’s Touch), Debra Messing (NBC’s Smash), Patrick Wilson (CBS’s untitled Susannah Grant project), Amanda Peet (NBC’s Bent), Christina Ricci (ABC’s Pan Am), Maria Bello (NBC’s Prime Suspect), Minnie Driver (CBS’s Hail Mary), Leelee Sobieski (CBS’s Rookies), and Jason Isaacs (NBC’s REM).
But there are also a lot of famous producers on the slate, like Robert de Niro, Samuel L. Jackson, Will Smith, Conan O’Brien, Mark Wahlberg, Jennifer Lopez, Will Smith, Jack Black, Peter Berg, Drew Barrymore, and Steven Spielberg.
Shonda Rhimes (Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice) is trying again to get her third series on ABC: this time it’s the public relations drama In Crisis.
J.J Abrams is back with two new dramas, NBC’s Person of Interest and FOX’s Alcatraz, both of which feature a Lost cast member. (Keep reading.)
Lost alums are still making their presence known on the big screen. Should their pilots get picked up Michael Emerson (CBS’s Person of Interest), Henry Ian Cusick (ABC’s In Crisis), Nestor Carbonell (CBS’s The Ringer), and Jorge Garcia (FOX’s Alcatraz) will join Elizabeth Mitchell (V), Daniel Dae-Kim (Hawaii Five-0), Ian Somerhalder (The Vampire Diaries), and Kiele Sanchez (The Glades) as former castaways in new starring roles.

2010 Emmys: My Recap

Dan Clarendon — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 17:53:04 +0000

Now that a whole week has passed since the airing of the 62nd Annual Emmy Awards, let’s pretend like I’m live-blogging the affair! But really, I’m just reviewing the tapes. Here are my thoughts about the events of the night, laid out on a (commercial-free) timeframe.

00:00:06 Jimmy Fallon and various television stars form a ragtag glee club and perform a rousing rendition of Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run.” Where else can you see Lea Michele, Cory Monteith, Chris Colfer, Amber Riley, Tina Fey, Kate Gosselin, Jon Hamm, Betty White, Jane Lynch, Jorge Garcia, Nina Dobrev, Joel McHale, Randy Jackson, and Tim Gunn in one skit—and one that happens to be hilarious? It’s a TV junkie’s dream!

00:09:03 The comedy montage features such priceless moments as the “moon landing,” Mitchell vs. the pigeon, and “two things flaming at once” from Modern Family; Larry David vs. the swan, Jerry Seinfeld’s “icon/no-con” rant, and the wheelchair makeout from Curb Your Enthusiasm; and the paintball scenes from Entourage and Glee.

00:12:12 Modern Family‘s Eric Stonestreet rightly wins for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series and has us all a little verklempt at the end of his speech.

00:17:26 The Office creator Greg Daniels does an uncannily good “I’m Rick James, bitch!” and 30 Rock writer Kay Cannon does a Liz-Lemon-style sexy dance.

00:21:57 Glee‘s Jane Lynch wins for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series, and my predictions (read: hopes) are 2 for 2!

00:28:28 The Modern Family skit is so, so funny. If you’re a fan of the show, or even if not, YouTube it. Right now.

00:31:37 Jim Parsons and Edie Falco win Outstanding Lead Actor/Actress in a Comedy Series for The Big Bang Theory and Nurse Jackie, but I watch neither! Jag!

00:36:49 The reality montage leans a little too heavily on the trashy side of reality programming, methinks.

00:39:35 The voice that introduces the Outstanding Reality-Competition Program nominees is comically gravelly.

00:40:16 One of the Top Chef producers trips (albeit hilariously) on the way up to the stage, but the jerkwad behind her a) doesn’t help her up, and b) steps over the shoe which flew off without picking it up. You can also see both Kyle McLachlan and Carrie Ann Inaba saying “Her shoe!” But, hey, hooray for Top Chef!

00:43:29 The drama montage makes me glad that its my bread and butter. Plus, it employs the ubiquitous Dragonheart theme. But man, so many good shows, so little time.

00:47:20 Team Darlton, showrunners for Lost, could really go into comedy. Boo-yah!

00:49:56 Breaking Bad‘s Aaron Paul wins for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series, and I’m pleasantly surprised! Then, later, The Good Wife‘s Archie Punjabi wins for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series, and I’m pleasantly surprised! Maybe the only thing you need to win an Emmy is A.P. as your initials.

00:55:08 Breaking Bad‘s Bryan Cranston wins for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series for the third consecutive time. But this year, both leads for the show won! If only they had a trophy case in the meth lab.

00:57:39 The name of Gugu Mbatha-Raw (presenter and Undercovers co-star) is so fun to say.

01:01:10 Jimmy Fallon gives an impassioned musical “in memoriam” tribute to three shows we lost this year—24, Law & Order, and Lost—in the personas of Elton John, Boyz II Men, and Billie Joe Armstrong, respectively. Good on ya, Fallon.

01:05:42 “This year’s nominees for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series all have one thing in common: they are terrifying—beautiful.” Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison’s banter is actually funny! (January Jones and Jon Krasinski, take notes!) Kyra Sedgwick wins for her work on The Closer. Again, I don’t watch the show.

01:16:01 Reliably, Ricky Gervais has the audience in stitches—and makes the ceremony a bit more Globes-ish by passing out booze.

01:27:29 George Clooney, accepting the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, gives a graceful and articulate acceptance speech and calls for the media spotlight to shine on the right subjects.

01:30:47 Once again, the movies/miniseries montage makes me feel guilty for seeing none of the featured productions.

01:33:35 HBO’s movie Temple Grandin wins for the first of five times tonight. My mom thought this should have been the basis of a drinking game.

01:39:42 The actual “In Memoriam” montage is quite touching, especially with the addition of a weepy Jewel song.

01:52:52 Seeing him next to Alexander Skarsgård shows just how short Al Pacino, winner for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie for You Don’t Know Jack, really is!

02:01:38 Mad Men wins for Outstanding Drama Series for the third straight year. It’s undefeated! I was rooting for Lost, but hey, I can’t quibble with this outcome.

02:04:02 Modern Family wins for Outstanding Comedic Series. I certainly can’t quibble here, either! And this year’s ceremony draws to a close. Well done, NBC! Well done, Jimmy! I’ll be excited to see how next year’s broadcast tops this year’s.

2010 Pilot Watch: The Best of the Losers

Dan Clarendon — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 18:59:52 +0000

Now that we’ve seen what shows will be on the air come fall, let’s get out our hankies and share a moment of silence for those that won’t—or, at least, those that sounded promising. It seems unlikely that any of the series below will make it to our living rooms, and that’s a damn shame. Not having seen a frame of any of these shows, I base my judgment solely on the synopses and cast information. Yes, I am a by-the-cover book-judger.

The Rockford Files Wha’ happen? This show had so much buzz going into pilot season. People love them a good remake, and this one seemed likely to fit the bill. Re-imagined by House creator David Shore, this version starred Dermot Mulroney (The Family Stone), Beau Bridges (The Fabulous Baker Boys), and the effin’ ineffable Alan Tudyk (Firefly). So why did NBC give it the ole heave-ho?
Untitled Medical Project First of all, who wouldn’t watch a show called Untitled Medical Project? John Wells, you rebel! But seriously, I know we already have umpteen medical shows on the air. (Well, umpteen minus Trauma, Mercy, Three Rivers, and Miami Medical. Peace out, guys!) But what set this one out from the pack is its cast, which I can only describe as eclectic. Sissy Spacek (In the Bedroom), Janeane Garafalo (Reality Bites, other greatness), Skeet Ulrich (Jericho), Amy Smart (The Butterfly Effect), and Jay Hernandez (World Trade Center). I think that lineup sounds more awesome than CBS gave it credit for.
Cutthroat “By all appearances, Nina Cabrera has a perfect life: a fantastic home in Beverly Hills, three beautiful children, great cars, great clothes. But… Nina Cabrera is also running a multi-million dollar Mexican crime syndicate.” So this ABC drama was like Weeds, but with crime instead of… weed. But with cast members like Mia Maestro (Alias), Peggy Lipton (Twin Peaks), and Francis Capra (Veronica Mars), I could have dug it.
Tax Man This multi-camera sitcom revolved around the titular character trying to justify his reviled job, and I say kudos for trying to make a mundane setting like the IRS funny. Plus, awesome cast: Martin Short (SCTV), David Krumholtz (Numb3rs), Kerri Kenney (Reno 911!), Judy Greer (Arrested Development), and Orlando Jones (MADtv). But it must not have been funny enough for FOX’s standards. Alas.
Our Show This single-camera comedy had one of the best premises I’ve ever heard—and one that I wish I had conceived, damn it! In this single-camera comedy, “a group of sci-fi fanboys in a small town shoot their own version of a canceled TV show.” Maybe it’s better that NBC didn’t pick this up, though—because had it gone on-air and then been canceled, would small-town fanboys have tried to shoot their own version of Our Show? Ah, the exponential meta-ness!
The Strip This NBC sitcom focused on “a former child star turned Hooters-style bar owner on the outskirts of Las Vegas.” Funny enough premise, but it comes from the minds of Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant, who were genius enough to come up with Reno 911! (The exclamation point is part of the show title. No, really. But I probably would have added it in anyway.) They also starred in the pilot along with former Reno co-star Cedric Yarbrough and former MTV VJ Dave Holmes, who incidentally also appeared on Reno. Bring on the next great Nevada comedy, guys!
Nomads I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I’m excited about any show about the CIA. Even if the premise—broke, young backpackers earning money by doing covert missions—is wildly implausible. However, the CW, in its infinite wisdom (and yes, I’m still bitter about the untimely end of Veronica Mars), decided not to let us see how this one played out. Because they apparently needed that hour for Shedding for the Wedding. Ugh.
Beach Lane Matthew Broderick. Small-town newspaper. Irresponsible millionaires. The Hamptons. Sounds like an enjoyable show to me. But NBC wasn’t on board.
Matadors ABC described this show as a “sexy, absorbing legal procedural with epic sweep and a powerful Romeo and Juliet love story at its heart.” (Procedural? Sexy? ¿Qué?) Again, I turn to the cast: David Strathairn (amazing in Good Night, and Good Luck), Zach Gilford (apparently amazing in Friday Night Lights), Stephen Lang (bad-ass in Avatar), and Kiele Sanchez (eh, not so likable in Lost).
The Station Hey, reader, remember when I said above that I’ll watch any show about the CIA? This one, though, is a bit kooky. FOX described it as a “workplace comedy which takes place in a covert CIA office in South America.” What an improbable mix of words in that sentence! I was intrigued. FOX wasn’t. (Even with John Goodman in the cast.)

“Lost” Props Going Once… Going Twice…

Dan Clarendon — Tue, 18 May 2010 00:10:00 +0000

As the final season of Lost wraps up, an auction of the props is already in the works. Profiles in History is organizing the event, which will happen this summer in Los Angeles. So far, the website lists a hundred items, and that number is bound to grow. In the gallery below, I’ve included the sixteen items I’d want most—those that I think are most emblematic of the show. If anyone wants to buy them for me, I wouldn’t say no! My contact information is on this website!

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The Redemption of Katherine Heigl

Dan Clarendon — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 04:38:32 +0000

Katherine Heigl, best known for her award-winning turn as Dr. Isobel Stevens on Grey’s Anatomy, has given us several reasons lately to dislike her. Two years ago, she opted to not compete for an Emmy, citing poor material that season on Grey’s. Last year, she griped to David Letterman last year about long days on the set—when apparently it was her movie-promoting schedule that caused the cram. And this year, she abruptly left the show to which she owes everything after finding success as a big-screen A-lister.

Katherine Heigl was actually the reason I started watching Grey’s five years ago, having been a fan of hers from Roswell. But all of those comments and actions alienated me and a lot of other fans. I didn’t even bother considering the possibility that they were taken out of context—that maybe there was another side of the story. But for the most part, there wasn’t.

And remarkably, Heigl practically admits as much in an interview with Michael Ausiello of Entertainment Weekly. She takes full responsibility for those incidents. She understands her mistakes and why she’s perceived as, in Ausiello’s words, an “ungrateful diva.” And she apologizes to her fans in a way that seems humble and sincere.

She apologized for making her gripes with the writers of Grey’s after Season 4 public knowledge, saying, “I ambushed them, and it wasn’t very nice or fair.” She apologized for her comments on Letterman, saying that she didn’t realize at the time that the schedule was compressed to accommodate her press tour. And she apologized for the abrupt end to Izzie’s storyline, explaining that she’s leaving to spend more time with her newly-adopted daughter. ”And even though I know I’m disappointing the fans,” she says, “and I know I’m disappointing the writers and my fellow cast members and the crew, I just had to make a choice. I hope I made the right one…. It sucks. You wish you could have it all exactly the way you want it. But that’s not life.”

Her most telling response, however, was when Ausiello asked her about her reputation. “The ungrateful thing bothers me the most. And that is my fault. I allowed myself to be perceived that way because I was being whiny and I was griping and because I made these snarky comments. So much about living life, to me, is about humility and gratitude. And I’ve tried very hard to have those qualities and be that person and I’m just so disappointed in myself that I allowed it to slip.”

The excerpts above are only a fraction of the entire interview, all of which is an interesting read. I don’t hold any grudges toward her after reading her reflections—I’m a fan of hers again. Of course, the cynical side of me says that she could just be reciting lines provided to her by someone skilled in image rehab. But my intuition says that these words are hers—this is how she really feels.

And I respect her for owning up to her past mistakes. She didn’t try to pawn them off on other people (like Chloë Sevigny did after criticizing the latest season of Big Love). I hope her efforts at atonement don’t go unnoticed. But even if they do, as long as she upholds the humility and gratitude she claims to value, the public will forgive and forget—and focus on her talent.

2010 Pilot Watch

Dan Clarendon — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 00:53:56 +0000

‘Tis the season for development, and Lynette Rice at EW.com has released a list of the pilots the broadcast networks are considering. (Bear in mind that only a fraction of these shows will make it to the airwaves.) After perusing the list, I’ve reached the following conclusions:

The public’s desire for shows about cops, doctors, and lawyers is still insatiable. By my count, 25 of the pilots are about these three professions. But some of these procedurals might be worth watching because of the attached talent: Forest Whitaker is heading up CBS’s Criminal Minds spin-off, NBC is pursuing Julianne Moore for their adaptation of BBC’s Prime Suspect, and Katee Sackhoff (Battlestar Galactica, 24) will star in a yet-to-be-titled detective series.
Multi-camera comedies are coming in droves. If the term “multi-camera” doesn’t ring a bell, it refers to the traditional type of sitcom with live (or implied) audiences, three-sided sets, and cue cards. Seinfeld is a multi-camera comedy, whereas 30 Rock is a single-camera one. After the critical success of 30 Rock, there was high demand for single-camera comedies, but now it looks like the trend is reversing, probably because multi-camera ones are cheaper to produce. The multis on the development slate outnumber the singles 21 to 12. This disappoints me. I have a knee-jerk disgust to the very word “multi-camera.” I don’t like for the canned laughter, the fake-looking sets, the bland lighting, and—often times—the type of comedy itself. I know good work is being done on sitcoms like How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory, but I just haven’t been able to get into them. I’m not even making much headway on Seinfeld.
The remake fever might not be a the pitch it was a couple of seasons ago, but we still have a few. CBS is updating Hawaii Five-O with Lost’s Daniel Dae Kim and Moonlight’s Alex O’Loughlin. NBC is taking another stab at The Rockford Files, this time under the direction of David Shore (House). And, interestingly, the CW is producing Nikita, an adaptation of La Femme Nikita.
Spies and the CIA are once again in vogue. Now this is a trend I can get behind, mainly due to my undying love for Alias. All of the espionage series on the slate sound intriguing. CBS’s Chaos has Freddy Rodriguez heading up a “ragtag group of CIA operatives ensnared by backstabbing and bureaucratic snafus.” Fox’s The Station is a single-camera (huzzah!) comedy focusing on a “covert CIA operative and his work buddies embedded in South America.” Even the CW is getting in on the action with Nomads, a drama about “free-spirited” backpackers who carry out CIA missions around the world. But the pilot that I’m most excited about bar none is Undercovers, an NBC drama about married spies who pulled back into service. Why am I pumped? It’s created by my hero, god-among-men J.J. Abrams.
Remember the 2005-2006 season when everyone wanted a piece of delicious Lost pie? Now everyone seemingly wants to replicate the critical and commercial success of Modern Family. ABC’s It Takes a Village and NBC’s Perfect Couples and Love Bites are all about various couples and their various intersections and intertwinings. I’m thanking God that Love Bites isn’t the name of another vampire series.
I kind of miss the Lost knock-off trend, though. I want more heavily-serialized stuff, like this season’s intriguingV and FlashForward. There’s only one enigmatic-sounding pilot on the list, NBC’s The Event, a “thriller about a regular Joe caught up in a large conspiracy.”
We may have dodged a bullet on Love Bites, but terrible names abound elsewhere. Some names are yawningly on-the-nose (Friends with Benefits), some are pun-ishing (Strange Brew—a brewery comedy), some have unfortunate connotations (The Wyoming Project, which brings to mind The Laramie Project), and some are just bizarre (Edgar Floats—a type of inner tube or a soda-fountain treat?). The worst one, however, is The Quinn-Tuplets. Naming characters to serve a pun in the title is a practice that needs to end. I’m still not convinced that Meredith Grey was so-named before the show was christened Grey’s Anatomy.
Shonda Rhimes’ new show Off the Map is, once again, about doctors (presumably) in love. Okay, Shonda, you have a formula that works—I understand. But what’s neato about this ABC pilot is that it’s being filmed in Puerto Rico. As much as I love Los Angeles, New York City, and Vancouver (woohoo!), I appreciate when a show is filmed in the actual place (like Breaking Bad, which is filmed in New Mexico) or a reasonable stand-in (like Lost and Hawaii).
There are two dramas about superheroes, NBC’s The Cape and ABC’s No Ordinary Family, the latter of which marks the small-screen return of The Shield’s Michael Chiklis.
The rotten banana of the bunch seems to be Chuck Lorre’s latest sitcom for CBS, Mike and Molly, about “a couple that overeats.” If that right there is the punchline for the whole show, it sounds abysmally bad. As much as Eddie Murphy might disagree with me, obesity isn’t that funny, especially in today’s America.
But on the other end of spectrum are pilots that seem quite promising. Reno 911! creators and Night at the Museum scribes Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant are producing a sitcom for NBC about a ex-child star who opens a bar in Vegas. ABC has a drama pilot in the works called Matadors, which centers on two feuding Chicago families and stars David Strathairn (of Good Night, and Good Luck fame). And the Alphabet Network is also developing a comedy called Mr. Sunshine starring Matthew Perry as a “self-absorbed manager of a sport arena” and co-starring Allison Janney. (Both of those stars previously guest-starred on each other’s Aaron Sorkin show, Perry on Janney’s The West Wing, and Janney or Perry’s Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.)

Of course, everything is subject to change before May, when the networks present the shows that survive this phase to the advertisers at their “upfront” events. That’s when all this speculation will end, and hopefully by then the wheat will be separated from the (ahem, Mike and Molly) chaff.

When the Music Stops

Dan Clarendon — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 01:10:50 +0000

For a recent homework assignment, our professor wanted us to watch three consecutive hours of television on any cable channel. Of course I procrastinated and had to pick from the offerings on the last possible day. I chose to watch the midday Wednesday MTV lineup, which were amusing if not insipid episodes of Disaster Date and True Life. When it came time to analyze the programming, I ruminated on MTV’s current situation.

But first, here’s a little state-of-the-network address. The channel is operated by MTV Networks, which, along with BET Networks, is a part of Viacom. MTV Networks, in turn, also owns MTV2, mtvU, MTV Tr3s, VH1, VH1 Classic, VH1 Soul, CMT, Logo, Nickelodeon, Nick at Nite, Noggin, The N, Comedy Central, TV Land, and Spike TV. The Viacom website boasts that the singular channel MTV reaches 508 million households across a variety of platforms and that the network has been named the World’s Most Valuable Media Brand for eight consecutive years by BusinessWeek. Its targeted demographic is men and women from ages 12 to 34. And the actual demographic is pretty spot-on: Nielsen Media Research reports that by the third quarter of 2008, the median age was 21.1 and MTV had been the top-rated 24 hour ad-supported cable network among viewers 12 to 24 years old for 46 consecutive quarters. Also, new shows are becoming hits for the channel. As the Associated Press reports, “Jersey Shore, a show about hot-tubbing housemates living in the New Jersey shore shown on Viacom’s MTV, has become the top prime-time show for viewers in the 12 to 34 age group on Thursdays. Teen Mom, a reality show about the travails of single moms, is now the number one prime-time show on Tuesday nights for the 12 to 24 age group.” In fact, the finale of Jersey Shore attracted 4.8 million viewers, almost triple the number who tuned into the premiere.

But the network is in a bit of an identity crisis. It’s no longer music television. And even MTV acknowledges that: as of February 8, the logo no longer includes the words “Music Television.” Looking now at its rosters of shows, the only one I recognize as music-centric is MTV Unplugged. The rest, for the most part, are reality shows with various extents of scripted-ness.

But maybe with all the coverage of music on the Internet (e.g. music, artist interviews, and videos), MTV doesn’t need to focus on music like it has in the past. Maybe featuring up-and-coming bands in its shows is enough now. (To their credit, the network always shows soundtrack information on-screen, which is something I haven’t seen any other network do.)

MTV is often on in my “mod” (Hampshire speak for “apartment”), so I’ve seen a sampling of the lineup. Some shows seem like vacuous entertainment with no particular style or substance (e.g. The Hills). And some are intriguingly meaningful and worthwhile to watch, like MADE and The Buried Life, both of which revolve around transformation and self-empowerment as a result of determination and persistence. So yes, with all these new reality and documentary shows, MTV may be trying to figure out what it is in this decade. But it’s still often on in my apartment, and it’s still a cultural touchstone of my generation.

Note: I cannot tell a lie. Most of this post was repurposed from the paper I wrote for the assignment. But I wanted to share my thoughts nonetheless, so let’s just say I put that paper “into syndication.”

Endings, As It Is Known, Are Where We Begin

Dan Clarendon — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 15:09:34 +0000

Rarely do shows get to end on the creators’ own terms, especially those that are cancelled. And even though Bryan Fuller surely would have preferred a more robust ending to his much-beloved fantasy noir Pushing Daisies, the show didn’t exit on a cliffhanger or, worse, with the whimper of a total non-ending, as some do.

No, he was able to whip together an epilogue to tack on to the cliffhanger ending of “Kerplunk,” the last episode to air. But, as he says in an interview with TheTorchOnline.com, he couldn’t even shoot new footage. So he instead devised this CGI tour of the town of Coeur d’Coeurs and its environs—and of many of the settings used for the show, including the windmills, the convent, the Aquacade, the cemetery, the lighthouse, and, of course, the Pie Hole itself. This impressive work of digital wizardry would have cost him in the neighborhood of $90,000, Fuller says, but the visual effect houses liked the show so much, they only paid $8,000 for the shot. And, best of all, the whole sequence ends with a sweet moment between Ned and Chuck and a shot of Digby running happily through a field of daisies. It may not be the ending that Fuller envisioned, but it’s an ending. And in the television world, that’s no small blessing.

The video is included below, and I’m happy to say that it’s spoiler-free, thanks to some crafty editing and dubbing.

2009 Emmys: My Recap

Dan Clarendon — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 21:16:33 +0000

Now that I’ve finally watched the last hour of the 61st Annual Emmy Awards, I can confidently say that this year’s broadcast was one of the best in recent history. And here are my favorite aspects of the big show:

Neil Patrick Harris. Coming off of last year’s terrible hosting job by otherwise talented reality-TV hosts, Neil Patrick Harris did a hell of a job as emcee. I haven’t seen much of his work, but I enjoyed his jokes, his reverence for television, and especially…
The opening number, in which he poked fun at the industry and at viewers, hit on both Christina Hendricks and Jon Hamm, and blazed through a long list of television networks in record time (begging for “Oxygen” by the end!). Props to Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman for writing the number.

The set. Not only was the band onstage, but the control room was, too. Fitting—and cool. Plus, the moving screens provided a departure from the standard Jumbotron, crowning the stage with an an ever-changing prism of video.
The announcer, (“PC Guy”) John Hodgman, whose blend of factual and fictitious factoids about each winner gave a fun twist to an otherwise mundane aspect of the show.
The genre-based order, and each genre’s montage: The new-found organization was a welcome change. And the montages before each segment were fair representations, I thought. The comedy montage reminded me why I watch some shows and not others. The reality montage emphasized the difference between genuine and trashy reality shows. The minseries/TV movies montage made me wish I’d seen more any of those performances. The variety montage played up the spectacle and “wow” moments of those shows. And the drama montage gave me more respect for shows I’ve dismissed (like CSI and Law & Order) while honoring shows that the Academy snubbed (like Battlestar Galactica).
Amy Poehler’s contribution. She gave each of the nominees for Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series funny glasses to wear. EW.com hated that Vanessa Williams refused to participate, but I found that priceless, and I think it was all part of the bit. (Update: I was right, according to costar Michael Urie’s tweet!)

Kristin Chenoweth’s win in that category, which I thought was the biggest surprise of the night. I was rooting for her, of course, but I didn’t think she’d win. Her acceptance speech was squeaky, endearing, and droll. “I’m unemployed now, so I’d like to be on Mad Men,” she said. “I also like The Office and 24.”
Cat Deeley, who, despite being snubbed in the reality host category, was still in attendance to announce the “Breakthrough Moment” award.
The dance number. Again, EW.com hated it, saying it had no place at the Emmys. But given the number of dancing shows on television, I say it does. And it was neat to see the ballroom stylings of Dancing with the Stars‘s Maksim and Karina remixed with the hip-hop/breaking moves of dancers like So You Think You Can Dance contestants Hok and Joshua. (And Katee, too?)
Surprise wins. It was nice to see a win for Shohreh Aghdashloo, whom I’ve respected ever since her roles in House of Sand and Fog and 24, as well as Emmys for 24‘s Cherry Jones and Breaking Bad‘s Bryan Cranston (who proclaimed that he felt like “Cinderfella”).
The Bob Newhart/Tina Fey smooch, inspired by the one shared between “Hailey” Berry and Adrien Brody. It’s just too bad the cameras cut away too soon. Coulda been a scorcher. (Probably not, though!)
The interruption by Dr. Horrible, in which he provided damning examples of the drawbacks of watching shows online. This is just further proof that I really need to watch Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. But hey, Whedonites, I’m watching Firefly and Dollhouse, so put down those pitchforks.

Jimmy Fallon. My mom told me to be on the lookout for his bit, and it truly was a highlight. How can you not laugh at a (prat)fallen man when his pleas for help are being Auto-Tuned. (Also, I’ve never seen Steve Carell laugh so hard.)
Ricky Gervais, proving once again that he needs his own hosting gig, had the audience in stitches when he said that TV people make him feel “above-average” in appearance.
The In Memoriam segment, just because Sarah McLachlan is too talented in the weepy-music department.
Matthew Weiner, who was nominated four different times in the dramatic-writing category! The Mad Men creator also gave a nice ego-boost to aspiring television writers, telling us all to “hang in there.” I had to hunt down his co-winner, Kater Gordon, on IMDb because she seemed to be not much older than myself. And sure enough: she went from writing assistant to Emmy-winning writer in a year’s time. Talk about an inspirational success story!
Giving all the writing/directing nominees time to speak, regardless of whether or not they won. Even if the questions they had to answer were a touch vapid, it was nice that each nominee had a moment in the limelight.
Repeat winners. 30 Rock and Mad Men took home top honors for the second year running, as did actors Bryan Cranston, Glenn Close, and Alec Baldwin. What a testament to their skill and staying-power.
Sarah Silverman’s moustache. ‘Nuff said.

To Be Seen, Not Tasted

Dan Clarendon — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 05:49:05 +0000

Why do we enjoy Top Chef so much? Aside from the fact that it’s one of the few respectable, legitimate competition shows, and aside from the fact that we are all gluttons for culinary-inferiority punishment, why do we watch a show in which we cannot participate? With So You Think You Can Dance, you can see the dances. With Project Runway, you can see the designs. But with Top Chef, you cannot taste the food. You must watch the judges reactions and rely on their appraisals.

It reminds me of my chief complaint about food shows: there are only so many responses TV chefs can give when tasting their own concoctions. The head tilts up toward the heavens, the eyes roll back, the eyelids flutter. “Oh, oh. That is so good.” Or “Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.” Or “Yumm-o!” Or the old standby: “Mmmm.” (Really, Rachael Ray, could you vary it up a little?) I have wonder what happens when these people blow their own recipes. Do they fake it? (Holy mole rojo, he thought, anxiously. When did I put in so much garlic? Crap, the cameras are still rolling. “Mmmmm!”)

Tangents aside, the judges on Top Chef are under no such obligation. They are free to hate on the food. They’ll straight-up spit your food into their napkins if it’s not good. Padma is especially good at this. “Did you shell these pistachios yourself?” she demands, shooting a death glare at the hapless contestant, then plucking a shell shard from her teeth and then dropping it on the plate for effect.

It’s a good thing the judges are so frank, because they’re our only conduit into the competition. We experience the food through them. If they say there’s not enough acid in a dish, then dammit, there’s not enough acid! (Though I’ve never in my life tasted food and thought, “Gee, Dan. Some more acid would really give this dish that much-needed oomph.”)

The answer to this quandary eludes me at the moment. But I’ll be tuning anyway in Wednesday night, peasant food in hand, pretending I know the first thing about black truffles or foie gras. When it comes to Top Chef, I may not know the secret ingredient, but the final product is, well, mmmm!

The Everywhere Actors

Dan Clarendon — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 19:56:33 +0000

When you watch as much television as I do, you see familiar faces all the time, and then you have to ask yourself (or IMDb), “Where have I seen him/her before?” For example, I’m watching the first season of House, and I’ve recognized guest stars from elsewhere in thirteen of the first fifteen episodes.

And then there are actors like Michelle Forbes and Željko Ivanek who show up on many of my favorite series. The phenomenon came to a head recently when I saw both of them on the same episode of True Blood.

Pictured above is Forbes in the roles she’s played in some of my favorite shows. From left to right: presidential advisor Lynne Kresge on 24, Oceanic Airlines representative Karen Decker on Lost, tough-as-nails admiral Helena Cain on Battlestar Galactica, beleaguered wife Kate on In Treatment, “social worker”/maenad Maryann Forrester on True Blood, and abducted physicist Maggie Sinclair on Alias.

And here is Željko Ivanek in his roles: Juliet’s ex-husband Edmund Burke on Lost, the sadistic Magister on True Blood, closeted attorney Ray Fiske on Damages (a role which earned him an Emmy), Serbian terrorist Andre Drazen on 24, Homeland Security agent Emile Danko on Heroes, and mentally-handicapped murder suspect Roland on The X-Files.

So both actors have been on 24, Lost, and True Blood, as well as the short-lived series The Inside. And True Blood wasn’t even the first time the two have appeared on a show simultaneously: they also shared the screen for eleven episodes of Homicide: Life on the Streets.

Luckily, I think both are fine actors, so they’re welcome additions to any show I watch. (I say that now—soon I might be complaining about Željkoverload!) And I see that both have made appearances on other shows I’ve been meaning to watch: Forbes has been on Seinfeld, Star Trek: The Next Generation, and Prison Break; and Ivanek has been on Oz, Big Love, and—coincidentally enough—House.

It’s a Little Pitchy, Dog

Dan Clarendon — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:45:26 +0000

To know me is to know my profound distaste for American Idol. I hate the show not only because it employs some of the worst of reality-television practices, but also because more-deserving shows don’t stand a chance when they’re scheduled against it. So it always delights me when I hear of news that could damage the show’s standing, and recently, I’ve been very happy. First Paula Abdul quit the show, and now a video of Simon Cowell has been leaked that could really, um, dog his reputation and credibility.

As I learned on TV Squad yesterday, someone has sniffed out the footage in which Cowell, dressed as a character named “Wonderdog,” is promoting his techno track entitled “Ruff Mix.” And the kicker: the melody is comprised of dog barks. (Like Conan said last night, this week truly is Bark Week.) Behold the horror:

Apparently, Mr. Cowell purchased the song from a German artist in the early 80s and created a Wonderdog persona to go along with it. Granted, he was a younger and less experienced Simon Cowell, but still, he had to have known the awfulness he was unleashing upon the world. How does one listen to that track and think that it deserves public consumption? And, worse, TV Squad notes that the single actually reached No. 31 on the Billboard charts.

What’s next: a report that Tom Colicchio loves to eat pork rinds? Or that Heidi Klum has been spotted in a Snuggie?

Postscript: It seems like Y! Music blogger Lyndsey Parker and I had similar brainwaves when concocting the headlines of our respective posts. I’m keeping mine since I thought I was being so (pun-ishingly) funny when I thought it up, but she deserves credit for reporting the news—and thinking of the joke—first.

The Future of Classic

Dan Clarendon — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 22:07:36 +0000

The following post was originally published on my old blog on July 7, 2009.

After watching the second-season finale of Breaking Bad, the dramatic series about a chemistry-teacher-turned-meth-dealer desperate to not let his cancer treatment bankrupt his family, I had one thought: thank God this show is on AMC.

With the premiere of Mad Men two years ago, AMC went from musty movie channel to leading cable destination overnight. And now with the network’s second dramatic series Breaking Bad attracting its fair share of critical acclaim (and even a leading-actor Emmy win for Bryan Cranston), AMC is establishing itself as a network that values quality over quantity. Unlike the broadcast networks, it has no reason to fill its primetime schedule with series each fall and hope that at least a few are commercial successes (let alone critical success). It has the freedom to develop series more thoroughly and thoughtfully.

And shows on AMC risk virtually no chance of cancellation. If a show on any of the big four networks pulled in Breaking Bad‘s numbers (around 1.4 million viewers on average), it would be axed instantly. But 1.4 million viewers, for a previously-obscure network like AMC, is a windfall. So with no threat of extinction—and a supportive network, to boot—AMC seems like a writer’s and producer’s paradise, as long as those writers and producers don’t mind small audiences.

The second season of Breaking Bad was even edgier, more stimulating, and more tragic than the first. If this were a broadcast network show, I’d be sweating about whether a third season would ever transpire. But the show was renewed four episodes into last season. Thank God this show is on AMC.

Follow That Sound

Dan Clarendon — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 22:03:16 +0000

The following post was originally published on my old blog on June 28, 2009.

Lately, the trend regarding opening titles has been to make them as short as possible. Gone are the days of ones lasting a minute-and-a-half. And rapidly going are the days of ones lasting thirty seconds. For example, both Grey’s Anatomy and Desperate Housewives once had excellent sequences—a satirical look of the representation of women in art, and a clever montage of love lives and professional lives intermingling. But both sequences have been replaced by mere title cards lasting five seconds, tops.

That’s why I was so pleased to see that A&E bucked the trend starting with the second-season premiere of The Cleaner. This was a show that used to display a simple title card. But now, it has been granted a luxuriously long—and damn good-looking—title sequence, which you can view here (so long as YouTube doesn’t yank the video). The imagery is stunning: oblique glances at Los Angeles locales captured in reflections from broken glass and drug paraphernalia, all culminating in a shot of William Banks approaching a soon-to-be interventionee’s car. And now we can hear more than just a snatch of the theme song, Sharon Little’s “Follow That Sound.”

Maybe this upgrade was only possible because cable shows have more latitude than networks ones, but all producers should take note: quality shows deserve quality introductions.

An Elegy for the Remote-Free

Dan Clarendon — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 21:49:52 +0000

The following post was originally published on my old blog on April 1, 2009.

One of my favorite practices this season was Fox’s “remote-free TV” model, in which the networks aired fewer commercials during each episode of Fringe and Dollhouse—while charging advertisers more for the exclusivity—in an effort to keep viewers watching live, instead of recording the shows and fast-forwarding through the commercials. I liked it because, as a result, each episode’s running time was 49 or 50 minutes, instead of just 42 or 43 minutes.

Unfortunately, the experiment had its share of setbacks, according to this article at Airlock Alpha. Even though viewers paid more attention to the ads, many companies were reluctant to shell out the extra bucks. Also, each episode was more expensive to produce—and the extra minutes of each episode would be cut if the show was ever to air on another network.

I have to confess that I did nothing to help save the venture. I rarely watching anything live, unless it’s some sort of viewing get-together with friends. The reduced number of ads simply meant less time through which to fast-forward.

However, I propose remote-free TV could work (and should be implemented) for shows like Dancing with the Stars or American Idol for a number of reasons: a) advertisers would gladly pay more since DWTS and Idol are huge ratings successes, b) it would reduce the running time of the show, especially if the producers trimmed some of the padding to fit those shows into an hour-long time slot, and, assuming that happened, c) other shows could be added to the lineup to fill those now-vacant time slots.

Networks, please have faith in remote-free TV—if not for me and my selfish desires, then for the sake of packing more into your primetime hours.

Give These Actors a Take Two!

Dan Clarendon — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 21:41:51 +0000

The following post was originally published on my old blog on March 29, 2009.

The following actors are all alumni of some of my favorite shows, and I want them back on television. Post haste!

Merrin Dungey Dungey is one of my beloved Alias actors and probably one of the most under-appreciated. She spent two seasons playing Francie Calfo and then made a couple of repeat performances later in the series. She spent two seasons on the sudsy, frothy mess known as Summerland. And then good news! She was cast as Addison Montgomery’s best friend Naomi Bennett in the backdoor pilot for Private Practice. And then bad news! She was replaced by Audra McDonald for the actual series. Even though McDonald seems perfect for the part of Naomi, Dungey needs a role elsewhere.

Gillian Anderson I don’t care if she’s playing Dana Scully or not, Anderson should return to American television. (Actually, that’s a lie: I’d love to see a Scully comeback.) The X-Files alum has had a fair share of success with the miniseries Bleak House and with The X-Files: I Want to Believe, but it’s not like she’s crazy busy. And she did vow to come live in America again if Obama won, so she is in the country…

The Senior Staff of the West Wing And by that, I mean Bradley Whitford, Allison Janney, Richard Schiff, and Josh Molina. I’m even going to throw in Janel Maloney and Stockard Channing. The whole cast of The West Wing is enormously talented, and the actors deserves more roles—preferably on the same show, preferably on one created by Aaron Sorkin. (I’m not including Dulé Hill and Rob Lowe because they have regular jobs, and I’m not including Martin Sheen because he’s had a long career and deserves a break.)

Sam Jones III Why has he not returned to Smallville? People should know when they can jump-start a big-screen career and when they can’t. (I call it the David Caruso Question.) If Sam Jones III can’t make the transfer, he should return to the burg of Smallville to have more dangerously awesome, awesomely dangerous adventures with his old high-school chums.

Almost the entire cast of Roswell But not Katherine Heigl, that diva! No, this one goes out to Shiri Appleby, Jason Behr, Brendan Fehr, and all the rest who need jobs. I miss them. Unless they’ve been abducted by real aliens, they’re around, and probably looking for work.

Lee Pace & Anna Friel I’m sad that Pushing Daisies was cancelled, and I’m remiss for not having seen all of the available episodes! But I loved what I saw, and these two were masters of innocent, cutie-patootie love. I’d love to see them portray the same types of characters. Then again… it could be cool seeing them as serial killers…

The Sophomore Slaughter

Dan Clarendon — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 13:26:49 +0000

The following post was originally published on my old blog on January 22, 2009.

For some reason, I’m always surprised when shows are cancelled in their second seasons or later. To me, cancellation seems like the gauntlet that first-year shows run, and once they’re past that trial, they’ve earned the right to end on their terms—or, at least, end with a little advance notice. No such luck.

ABC reminded me of this misconception a couple of months ago with the sudden (and simultaneous) cancellation of three sophomore series: Pushing Daisies, Eli Stone, and Dirty Sexy Money. I hadn’t gotten into Dirty Sexy Money, but I was a big fan of the other two. And this move by ABC—cancelling three series in one fell swoop—struck me as particularly ruthless. At least when shows are cancelled individually, I can pretend like it was a hard decision for the network to make. But when three shows are cancelled at once, it just seems to me like the network just made a snap business decision regardless of each show’s merits. What a stark reminder of just how much of a numbers game the TV biz is.