or, A Television-Related Word Association Experiment With the Love of My Life

Here’s a list of every current show I watch, and my boyfriend’s instant reaction to each.

• 30 Rock “Oh, Tina Fey…” (smiles)
• American Horror Story ”Thrills me.”
• Boardwalk Empire “Costumes…”
• Breaking Bad “Oh, I don’t know.  I don’t know.  Come back to me with that one.”
• Burn Notice “Never saw it… oh, but that guy is hot.”
• Californication “Gah… can’t get into it… but I want to.”
• Community “Growing on me.”
• Cougar Town “Stupid.”
• Covert Affairs “Oh, Piper Peek-a-boo.  That’s what my dad calls her… looks pretty stupid, though.  It looks like a dumbed-down Alias, if Alias could be any dumber.”
• Curb Your Enthusiasm ”I hate Seinfeld.”
• Damages “I don’t know anything about that show.  What is that show?”
• Desperate Housewives ”Ugh… desperate.”
• Dexter “Love it.  Those cat eyes.”
• Fringe “Ugh… it has that guy from Dawson’s Creek.”
• Glee “Oh, I love Lea Michele.  Oh!  Mercedes!  What’s her name in real life?”
• Gossip Girl “Ed. Westwick. Two words.”
• Grey’s Anatomy (gags ) “Menopause.”
• Justified “I wanna watch that.  It has that guy with the French last name that sounds like ‘elephant.’ E-le-phant.  You should use those French accents.”
• Louie “Say that again?”
• Mad Men (sighs) “Upsets me.”
• Modern Family “Oh my god.  I could watch that all day.”
• Nikita “Oh my god… the CW…”
• Once Upon a Time “I love Ginnifer Goodwin.  Godwin.  Goodwin.”
• Parenthood “I adore that show.”
• Parks and Recreation (smiles admiringly and shrugs)
• Private Practice “Ugh… keep it private.”
• Raising Hope “Babies.”
• Revenge “Oh, that’s the girl I’m gonna see soon in ‘Bros and Hos’ [our nickname for Brothers and Sisters].  Living in the Hamptons is so nice.  Except I hate those people.”
• So You Think You Can Dance “The judges really think they can talk”
• The A-List: New York “Not a list I want to be a part of.  Not ‘a list‘.” (laughs)
• The Buried Life “Oh.  That’s like a bucket list for adult people.  Or, or for kids.  I do want to watch that.”
• The Glee Project ”I really hated those kids.  And I did not like the results.”
• The Good Wife “Always hesitant to start, but I love it by the end.  That Kalinda: she can seduce everyone, and she’s really not that hot.  But she’s cunning.  She’s kind of like an animal actually.  Don’t you think so?  She just kinda fills her animalistic needs.”
• The Office “Ugh… never got into it.  I love Steve Carrell.  And I love that British dude who insults everyone.”
• The Sing-Off  “Nick Lachey is a really dumb host.”
• The Voice ”Oh, we were on that.”
• The Walking Dead “I really don’t like anything that has to do with zombies, except for 28 Days Later.”
• True Blood “Oh my god.  ’Sookie.’  That is also one of the first shows to make a gay person of color a main character, and in a really positive way.  People respect him.”
• Top Chef  “My dream career.  That show tantalizes me.  That shows tantalizes my every vittle.” (laughs)  ”What do you want for dinner tonight?”

My year-end accolades (or year-beginning ones, as the case may be) always come with a disclaimer: I haven’t watched all the awesome TV out there. There’s no Boardwalk Empire on this list, no Homeland, no Game of Thrones… and I can’t even award Breaking Bad because I’ve only seen three episodes of this year’s season! But, c’mon, every TV critic must be missing out on something worthwhile… at least, those TV critics with social lives. (And I should know—I used to not have one to speak of!) Anyway, enough navel-gazing. Of the shows I’ve followed consistently, here are my favorites.

1. American Horror Story
2. The Good Wife (2010: #8)
3. Modern Family (2010: #4)
4. Justified (2010: #10)
5. Dexter
6. Parenthood
7. Community (2010: #5)
8. Parks and Recreation (2010: #7)
9. Fringe (2010: #6)
10. True Blood

We all watch television in eager anticipation of those watercooler moments—those moments so shocking, so emotional, so incredibly awesome that we have to a) rewind to watch them about twenty times and b) rehash them to death with all of our fellow watchers. And I honor my picks for those moments here, along with video clips of each moment from YouTube and Hulu (which will hopefully still work in six months). Bear in mind that I did not (and surely could not) see every worthwhile show on television in 2011, and I might be behind on the ones I do watch, so I will most certainly snub deserving moments. Also, I chose not to go Googling to remember these events; if they didn’t come immediately to mind, they must not be momentous enough to merit a place on this list.

WARNING: MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD! You may just want to look at the show names in the parentheses before looking at the description to keep yourself pure. You’ve been warned!

1. Alicia finds out (The Good Wife) that Kalinda slept with her husband Peter, since only she knows that the name of his rumored mistress, Leila, is the name with which Blake would constantly refer to Kalinda.
2. Debra sees Dexter kill (Dexter), and now we’re dying to know now how strong their familial bonds are—will she arrest him, protect him, or aid and abet him?
3. Adele learns she has Alzheimer’s (Grey’s Anatomy) passing through denial, anger, and grief all within the span of a tour de force monologue, thanks to an Emmy-winning performance by Loretta Devine.
4. Zeek lectures Amber (Parenthood) after she gets in a car accident because her friend was drunk, saying, “You do not have my permission to mess with my dreams.”
5. Gus uses the box cutter (Breaking Bad) on his henchman Victor’s neck, wordlessly putting the fear of God (or is that the fear of Gus?) into insubordinate Walt and Jesse.
6. Violet realizes she’s dead (American Horror Story) when she finds her rotting corpse deep in the bowels of the Murder House, and she realizes that her suicide attempt days earlier was successful.
7. The multiverse forgets Peter (Fringe) as if he never existed, and he was only trying to stop the destruction of our universe by the other and vice versa.
8. Debbie shoots Tara (True Blood) with a bullet meant for Sookie, making this season finale the bloodiest and most tragic episode yet.
9. Michael says goodbye (The Office), ending the comedy king’s reign in Scranton on a surprisingly sincere and touching note.
10. Henry dies (Grey’s Anatomy) on Cristina’s operating table, while Henry’s wife Teddy operates in the next room, misled to believe the surgery is a success.
11. Dexter finds the professor’s frozen body (Dexter) and realizes that Travis is the monster himself, not just the lackey—and worse, he’s schizo.
12. The Troubletones sing “Rumour Has It/Someone Like You” (Glee), a mash-up showcasing the emotion-laden vocals of Mercedes and Santana, with some fine choreography to boot.
13. Adam and Kristina fight (Parenthood), which not only displayed superb acting by Peter Krause and Monica Potter but also proved that the relationships developed by this show’s writers are among the most realistic you’re likely to find on TV.
14. Callie sings “The Story” (Grey’s Anatomy)—really just an excuse for Sara Ramirez to sing a showstopping number, and damn if she didn’t sing her heart out.
15. Blake leaves Kalinda with a parting shot (The Good Wife), telling her that he knows that she slept with Peter—and we get a rare glimpse of a vulnerable and scared Kalinda.

• BONUS: “Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait… wait. I worry what you just heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was: ‘Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.’ Do you understand?” – Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation 

   

The start of a new year makes us all reflect on the previous 365 days, but it makes this blogger reminisce not only about the year that was but also the television that was. That’s right: as is tradition this time of year, it’s time for another round of the Primies. Not the most prestigious awards, perhaps, but let’s hope it’s a bit more entertaining (and maybe even more credible) than last night’s People Choice Awards? In any case, here are the characters I appreciated the most in 2011. And I should also take this opportunity to categorically commend the actors who portray these characters, since even the best writing needs the perfect delivery. Finally, let this be a warning to all ye who continue: spoilers abound!

1. Debra Morgan (Dexter) This season saw this profanity-spewing Miami Metro detective was make lieutenant, but the promotion alienated her from her team. Couple that loneliness with her disconnectedness with her brother, and the revelation of what that dependency means, and the revelation of who her brother is; and you get a woman for whom every aspect of life is unraveling. Played by Jennifer Carpenter.
2. Mags Bennett (Justified) The matriarch of the Bennett family was always ready with a glass of her famous “apple pie” on top of the table and a sawed-off shotgun below it. She could have easily been portrayed as a backwoods simpleton, but her cunning and deviousness almost outstripped Raylan’s in the culmination of the Bennett/Givens feud. Played by Margo Martindale.
3. Kristina Braverman (Parenthood) Kristina has a lot on her plate these days: a teenage daughter on the brink of adulthood, a son with Asberger’s, a weeks-old baby, and a husband starting his own business—not to mention a zany bunch of in-laws. And she handles it all with an admirable amount of patience and compassion, but her humanity truly comes through when it all proves too much for her. That realness makes her brand of “parenthood” the most relatable of the show. Played by Monica Potter.
4. Gloria Delgado-Pritchett (Modern Family) Disregarding her sex appeal (reluctantly), Gloria is a pleasure to watch every week because of two reasons: her Colombian accent is ripe for comedy, and her references to her upbringing—e.g. any anecdote starting off with “In my country…”—are reliably funny. Played by Sofia Vergara.
5. Santana Lopez (Glee) Despite the Glee fatigue some of us are feeling, one of the better developments of late is the amount of time Santana is in the spotlight. Once known as the other Cheerio singing back-up for Quinn, this pistol from Lima Heights Adjacent has been showing off her considerable pipes recently, particularly in duets with Mercedes. Played by Naya Rivera.
6. Constance Langdon (American Horror Story) Never mind that the Tinseltown limelight never shone upon her, never mind that she murdered her husband and her maid, and never mind that her children are all resting in peace (or otherwise), Constance is still unflappable—not to mention perfectly coiffed. Played by Jessica Lange.
7. Eli Gold (The Good Wife) A brilliant strategist, Eli’s political savvy and tactics won Peter Florrick the seat of State’s Attorney, but he always seems two poll points away from a nervous breakdown. In fact, he is at his comedic best when he loses his cool. (Talking to the chairman of the Democratic Committee, he sputters, “Where did you go to school, you idiot!”) Played by Alan Cumming.
8. Rubber Man (American Horror Story) Easily the most unnerving (if not totally terrifying) character of the year, the silent, omnipresent Rubber Man haunted, raped, and/or murdered inhabitants of the so-called Murder House—and we won’t even dwell on what he did with the fire poker. Played by Riley Schmidt, Evan Peters, and Dylan McDermott.
9. Lafayette Reynolds (True Blood) Honoring Lafayette on this list is long overdue, since his gaudy style and cutting remarks make him one of my (and so many other Truebies’) favorite characters. But he deserves even more recognition this season for being put through the ringer. Not only was he embodied by not one but two spirits, but his boyfriend and (presumably) his cousin lost their lives. Time will tell how or if he recovers from these blows. Played by Nelsan Ellis.
10. Amber Braverman (Parenthood) Amber has grown up so much since the days of her teenage rebellion, but she still has so much further to go. Her transition into adulthood and her struggles making it on her own are recognizable to me and probably anyone my age. Played by Mae Whitman.
11. Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl) After establishing herself as the Queen Bee of the Upper East Side youth the previous three seasons, Seasons 4 and 5 has shown a softer side of Blair—evidenced in her platonic dependence on Dan. And this Dan appreciates the dimensionality. Played by Leighton Meester.
12. Burt Chance (Raising Hope) Easily amused, never mature, and never quite capable or competent, Burt still transcends poor-white-trash humor and becomes endearing because he’s so good-natured and well-meaning. That said, he’s funniest when his stupidity rears its airy head. Played by Garret Dillahunt.
13. Tom Haverford (Parks and Recreation) Normally, this level of delusional confidence would grow tiresome, but with Tom, it’s always entertaining. His storylines are even funnier when his self-promotion comes this close to paying off before he puts his foot in his mouth or otherwise happens to blow his cover. Played by Aziz Ansari.
14. Dickie Bennett (Justified) Deficient of his mother’s cleverness, Dickie is a bit of an idiot—but a dangerous idiot because of his fast trigger-finger and even faster temper. Still, he had a hickish way with words, and for that I salute him. Played by Jeremy Davies.
15. Henry Burton (Grey’s Anatomy) Effortless charm is not a common personality trait, but Henry has it. And though he was never pessimistic about his health troubles (or anything else for that matter), Henry always struck me as an underdog type, which is why it was so good to see Teddy make him happy. Played by Scott Foley.

My other blogging gig is covering Grey’s Anatomy for Wetpaint Entertainment, and I wanted to share the following article here on Primetimely since it’s one of which I’m particularly proud. (You can see it in its original Wetpaint context here.) The preamble is true: I do love Grey’s—but I do see its faults and its wear and tears of age, and I have some humble suggestions.

We love Grey’s Anatomy, and not just because doing so is our job here at Wetpaint Entertainment. But we’re still critical of it — and while this season and the last were better than, say, seasons 5 and 6, we’re a long ways away from the Grey’s glory days. So we took it upon ourselves to make the show great again… or to at least offer the writers some friendly suggestions. Here are five prescriptions for the writers to administer once an episode until the show’s ailments subside.

A smaller cast
Season One had nine main characters. Season Two had ten. Season Eight? Fourteen. That’s fourteen characters who need substantial storylines in most (if not all) episodes. Might the writers be spread a bit too thin trying to serve all these actors? That said, we’re not looking to vote any characters off the proverbial island — and we certainly wouldn’t want to be the ones to choose who stays and who goes! — but maybe certain characters could be scaled back to “recurring” status. Maybe certain characters who haven’t had any notable storylines thus far. Like, say, a character whose name rhymes with Flaxen Savory.

More emotional pay-offs for each climactic episode
Grey’s Anatomy is known for its occasional blockbuster episode, which usually involves some tragedy besetting Seattle. Sometimes they come off as ratings ploys, and sometimes they transcend their sensational nature to usher in innovative drama. For example, the mass shooting at the hospital made for an incredible episode in its own right, but it also made Season 7 that much stronger, since the season dealt with the doctors healing their shattered world. The ferry crash made Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) face (and surrender to) her own mortality, and it also made Alex (Justin Chambers) assume a heroic role. But on the flip side, events like the sinkhole and the plane crash had no greater ramifications — they just made for exciting television commercials.

More tragedy
Ouch. We know. How dare we want the doctors to suffer? We’ll tell ya why — it makes for quality television. Izzie losing Denny, Bailey (Chanda Wilson) losing her husband, Richard (James Pickens Jr.) losing his sobriety and his wife, Cristina (Sandra Oh) losing her ability to operate, Meredith losing Zola, Arizona (Jessica Capshaw) losing her relationship, Callie (Sara Ramirez) nearly losing her life, et cetera, et cetera. When the doctors lose, Grey’s as a show wins. And the tragedy is even better when the audience knows something the doctors don’t, a.k.a. dramatic irony. For example, in this most recent episode, we knew that Cristina was operating on Henry when she didn’t, and we knew that Henry was dead when Teddy (Kim Raver) didn’t.

Closure
Regardless of what we think of the actors who portrayed them, we liked Burke, George, and Izzie. But none of these main characters had a satisfying send-off. Burke left Cristina at the altar and was never held accountable for his actions because Isaiah Washington was released from his contract. George O’Malley was hit by a bus, and Shonda Rhimes never got to write the one last episode for him that she wanted to because T.R. Knight declined to return. After being spurned by Alex, Izzie headed for Tacoma in an episode that was not intended to be her last because Katherine Heigl chose to leave the show for good. These abrupt departures make for choppy storytelling and fan frustration. Actors should be required to appear in one more farewell episode after their character dies or moves. Or, like our girl Kate Walsh, they should just come back once a season!

More Shonda episodes
Notice any commonality between the episodes we picked as our all-time favorites? Almost all of them were written by Shonda Rhimes — you know, the woman from whose brain this entire world and all of its drama and characters sprang? Don’t hold the fact that she wrote Crossroads against her; she has since become an absurdly talented writer on Grey’s, Private Practice, and the upcoming Scandal. There’s a reason why the episodes she writes are the most memorable, buzz-worthy chapters in each show’s saga.

Want more from Wetpaint Entertainment? Keep up on all things Grey’s Anatomy by Liking us on Facebook at facebook.com/GreysAnatomyFansite and Following us on Twitter at twitter.com/GreysWetpaint.

Like every other reputable TV critic, I’ve seen absolutely none of this season’s crop of new shows, except for the first episode and a half of New Girl. (Cut a guy some slack; we’ve been trying to slash Dexter from my to-watch list.) So since there’s no time like the holidays for frivolity, let me recklessly and unfairly pass judgment on all the broadcast network’s new scripted offerings… in haiku form! Bonus: Watch as my poetic form deteriorates toward the end of the post!

Charlie’s Angels
Lame reboot; no buzz
Not even Minka Kelley
could save these Angels

Pan Am
Flight attendant? Hah!
You call her “stewardess”
Or just say “Ricci.”

How To Be a Gentleman
In laugh-less sitcom,
One guy is Johnny Drama,
Other’s just up-tight

Allen Gregory
I’m not sure what makes
This Jonah-Hill-voiced kid
Diff’rent than Stewie…

Free Agents
They are coworkers.
They slept together. So what?
Happens all the time.

The Playboy Club
What happens when
Cute women in bunny suits
Meet Don Draper Lite?

Prime Suspect
No Helen Mirren.
Instead, Maria Bello
In a funny hat.

A Gifted Man
Surgeon sees dead wife.
Her work lives on through him.
Must have God complex!

Person of Interest
Michael Emerson
Is a creeper once again,
But for good this time!

Unforgettable
Total recall, huh?
Hard to fathom. I just bought
Ginkgo biloba.

Terra Nova
Love them dinosaurs.
Wish the graphics were better.
Wanna see peeps chomped!

Hart of Dixie
I’m guessing this show
Doesn’t center on the fine
Dixie paper goods line

Ringer
What is better than
One Sarah Michelle Gellar?
Twin SMGs! Duh!

Up All Night
Applegate, Arnett
And Rudolph. Would watch these guys
Almost anywhere.

Last Man Standing
Who runs the world? Girls!
Tim Allen doesn’t get that
Must be too washed up.

Suburgatory
Living in the ‘burbs
Is certaintly not hellish,
Just a bit boring.

The Secret Circle
CW loves
Supernatural shows, like
Supernatural.

Grimm
The guy can see beasts
Living amongst us humans
Like Michelle Bachmann.

Once Upon a Time
Ginnifer Goodwin
Is super cute. Even in this
Meta fairy tale.

2 Broke Girls
Cash-starved waitresses
Think they’re funny but only
Get laughs from laugh track.

New Girl
Adorkable Zo
Crashes with some bro-ish bros,
Sings at ev’ry chance.

I Hate My Teenage Daughter
Mothers who are scared
To confront a teenage girl
Need to rethink life.

Revenge
Girl moves to Hamptons
Somehow affords beach cottage
Might cut a bitch soon.

Whitney
Lassie McSassy
Is dating a caveman guy
And e’er kvetching.

Hello, my name is Dan Clarendon, and I’m an addict. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m afraid to say I’ve had a bit of a setback. I thought my life was better off without Gossip Girl. Only a year and a half ago, I publicly condemned it, deeming it “flat” and “uninteresting.” I criticized the fact that none of the characters mature and that none of the break-ups and make-ups matter because none of them last.

Well, I’ve been tempted again, and I have to admit, I lost control. But it wasn’t my fault, I swear—I have enablers! My boyfriend is a junkie, too. And Netflix is my supplier. How can I help myself when every episode from the past four seasons is available to stream instantly? I started using Gossip Girl again to indulge my boyfriend because I know he loves it and I didn’t hate it. So I figured I’d get caught up so that we could watch together. What was the harm, I thought. And there was a time when I enjoyed it. But then I started liking it way more than I thought I would or should.

I started watching it independently. It became my primary source of procrastination. If I had my druthers, I’d probably be watching it now instead of blogging. It’s a perfectly decent show. It can be silly and proposterous and ocassionally dull, but when it’s salacious and scandalous, it can be one of the most addicting TV drugs I know.

Listen, don’t judge me, okay? I can make fun of it like the best of them. Blake Lively is not likely to win an Emmy. Taylor Momsen looks like a would-be Lohan. Ed Westwick’s name is Ed. But, hey: everyone is good-looking, the clothes are bizarre in a cool way, the music is pitch-perfect, the storylines are tantalizing, and—best of all—the show glorifies New York City. And it just makes me feel good, dammit!

Look: I can stop any time. I swear.

Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned. It’s been months and months since my last blog post. And in that time span, the Emmys broadcast came and went, uncommented on—until now! Yes, though it may be ridiculously belated, I’m here to opine, ruminate, and wax poetic on all things Emmy. Hey, at least I’m doing so before next year’s broadcast…

• Even though the opening number didn’t wow me (until the Mad Men bit, that is), I still think Jane Lynch made for a fine Emmy host, and I hope the producers continue to make unexpected choices for the hosting gig for future ceremonies.
• All hail Modern Family. Not only was it chosen as Outstanding Comedy Series, but Phil and Claire Dunphy themselves, Ty Burrell and Julie Bowen, were chosen as the comedy world’s best supporting actor and actress. Plus, the show also took home awards for its writing and directing.
• That said, I could have used some more Parks and Recreation lovin’, since that show jockeys in my mind with Modern Family for the best comedy on TV right now.
• I loved Melissa McCarthy on Samantha Who? (and I hear she was just as lovable in Gilmore Girls), and now she’s finally getting her moment in the sun, what with a scene-stealing turn in Bridesmaids, Emmy gold for Mike & Molly, and a recent critically-adored hosting job on SNL.
• Still haven’t watched The Big Bang Theory, but congrats to Jim Parsons nonetheless for nabbing Outstanding Actor in a Comedy Series. I’d be eager to watch, but I just have too much television on my plate.
• Once again, The Daily Show is hailed as the best of all variety, music, and comedy series—and I feel shameful that I haven’t even gone to see a live taping here in New York.
• It was hugely gratifying to see Margo Martindale win for her role as Mama on the criminally-underrated Justified. And I’d nominate Mama’s “apple pie” in Most Tantalizing Moonshine category.
• It seems like fans of Friday Night Lights bemoan its lack of attention, so I felt some vicarious vindication when Kyle Chandler won for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series. Still, I was rooting for Justified‘s Timothy Olyphant…
• Julianna Margulies? Love her. Love everything about her. Love The Good Wife. Yep.
• As much as I enjoy The Amazing Race, I think that Top Chef put up a better season this year. Both shows brought back former “also-ran” contestants to compete again this season, but Top Chef‘s contest was just more engaging.
• Much as I enjoy Grey’s Anatomy (discounting the fact that I get paid to enjoy it), I do think that Loretta Divine deserved the show’s one and only acting nomination, and I’m tickled that she won it, because this scene is definitely Emmy material.
• When I saw Kate Winslet in the audience, I assumed she was just there for show. Then I remembered (and then she won for) her role in HBO’s Mildred Pierce miniseries. And that’s great, because she’s just so freakin’ likable.
• Much as I love Mad Men, I found myself a little dismayed that it won this year again. Seems to me that any of the other four shows (Dexter, The Good Wife, Friday Night Lights, Game of Thrones) would be just as worthy. Is Mad Men Fatigue possible? And if so, is it justifiable? I guess it’s a high-class problem to be tired of a show being consistently excellent.
• Most pressingly, when the hell will I be recognized by the Emmy voters for Outstanding if Infrequent Television Blogger or Outstanding if Overconfident Talent for an Unproduced Television Writer?

Glee creator Ryan Murphy’s announcement that the McKinley kids would be graduating and leaving the show at the end of this upcoming season (stated with a “isn’t-this-totes-obvs?” tone) caused a stir surprising to even Murphy himself. Gleeks are practically worked up into a lather of separation anxiety. And it makes sense: no one is excited about the prospect of Glee devoid of Rachel’s self-aggrandizing, Finn’s lumbering dance moves, Mercedes’s vocal runs, and Brittany’s non sequiturs.

But his rationale is valid. Unless the show abandoned all pretense at realism (and it’s already halfway there with the rock-concert-worthy production values that accompany each performance), it’d be hard to draw out the chronology enough to allow the characters to stay at McKinley for any more seasons.

But Gleeks need not worry. The original stars are fantastic in their own unique ways, and they are collectively responsible for selling us on the show, but the show is not defined by them. Rather, The show is defined by the concept, the tone, the theatricality, and the (overstated) themes. Let’s face it: if the show were to continue without the original kids, Gleeks would still watch and likely enjoy the show. After all, there were only six members of the Glee club in the pilot episode: Rachel, Finn, Mercedes, Kurt, Artie, and Tina. Quinn, Brittany, Santana, Puck, Mike, Sam, and Lauren were all added to the mix later. (Oh, yeah, and that Matt guy… but we barely remember him.)

Murphy’s challenge now will be to make the changing of the guard as seamless as possible. The reason we grew to like additions like Sam, Lauren, and our favorite Cheerios so much was that they weren’t billed as replacements but rather introduced organically and intriguingly. The same needs to happen with the new New Directions. We need to be so taken with them that we forget they’re taking the place of the original crew.

Television history is chock-full with examples of cast replacements done both well and poorly. Only a fraction of the Grey’s Anatomy cast are Season 1 veterans, but the newer doctors are all equally likable. ER was a revolving door of cast members, but the still stayed fairly popular. On the flip side, fans never took to Doggett or Reyes in The X-Files or Rachel and Tom in Alias because those characters weren’t introduced as smoothly and fans could neither forget nor forgive that they were the heirs apparent.

And it’s not like there won’t be holdovers. None of the adults have any particular reason to leave McKinley, so we’ll still have Mr. Schuester and Sue Sylvester, as long as the potential for Emma Pillsbury, Coach Beistie, and maybe Holly Holliday if we’re especially lucky.

Gleeks, I’m optimistic about the changeover. It’s not only necessary but also potentially reinvigorating for the show. Uh, hello, don’t stop believing, okay?

The tribe has spoken. The networks have voted. And this development season’s pilots have either received series orders or have been all but forgotten about. After watching clips of (or, at least, reading synopses of) the new shows, I’ve decided which shows I can’t wait to check out. (And my track record is pretty great: only two-thirds of the shows I recommended last year were cancelled! Hey!)

1. Alcatraz Another in a proud line of mysterious dramas from J.J. Abrams, FOX’s Alcatraz deals with the sudden reappearance of prisoners and guards who had disappeared three decades prior. I’d be excited for the Abrams-ness of it all, but it also features an enviable cast (Lost‘s Jorge Garcia, Jurassic Park‘s Sam Neill, ER‘s Parminder Nagra).
2. Apartment 23 ABC’s roommate-from-hell comedy works because Krysten Ritter (Veronica Mars) is surprisingly good at playing a lovable bitch and her character’s best friend James Van Der Beek is played by James Van Der Beek.
3. Awake This NBC drama (originally titled R.E.M.) features Brotherhood‘s Jason Isaacs as a cop who survives a car crash to find himself torn between two realities: one in which his son survived and one in which his wife did. The mind-tripping nature of the show coupled with Isaacs’s understated performance makes it the show to beat, in my book.
4. New Girl Two words: Zooey Deschanel. She’s adorable and goofy as ever in this FOX comedy. Even though she’s the main attraction, her character’s three male roommates might even be funny enough rival her comedic chops.
5. Once Upon a Time I’m cautiously optimistic about ABC’s supernatural thriller in which a town’s residents are unknowingly living parallel lives in a Snow-White-like fairy tale. The tunics and sword fights make it look a little cheesy, but I still have hope. And I do like House‘s Jennifer Morrison, Big Love‘s Ginnifer Goodwin, and Swingtown‘s Lana Parilla.
6. Pan Am I do love me some period dramas, and I love the swankiness of the Jet Set Era. (Y’know, that time when air travel was fun.) This soap for ABC seems a little derivative of that memorable sequence from Catch Me If You Can, but that’s not a bad thing. Let’s face it: well-coiffed flight attendants plus handsome pilots plus retro design plus exotic locales (plus Christina Ricci) cannot not be fun.
7. The Playboy Club What did I just say about period dramas? Admittedly, I was skeptical when I heard about NBC’s Playboy pilot, but the preview has piqued my curiosity. Are there lots of gratuitous bunny-tail shots? Yes. Are there moments of female empowerment? Yes. This is all to be expected. But it also coats a seedy storyline in a sleek veneer, so this will be one to check out.
8. Ringer After nearly a decade off, Sarah Michelle Gellar is back on television! And she plays two characters: twin sisters both escaping their respective bounties. The cast also features Life Unexpected‘s Kristopher Pohala, Lost‘s Nestor Carbonell, and Fantastic Four‘s Ioan Gruffudd. Also, this series makes for the comeback story of the season: CBS declined to pick it up but handed it off to its sister network, The CW.
9. Smash It’s a musical show, but it’s not Glee. Rather, it’s a show about putting on a musical, and I love making-of dramas. (Hell, I wrote a making-of drama.) Plus, it has a laudable cast that includes Debra Messing, Angelica Huston, and American Idol contender Katharine McPhee.
10. Terra Nova Refer to my last post on the subject. (FOX has had the show in development for awhile.) But add Life on Mars‘s Jason O’Mara and Avatar‘s Stephen Lang, a massive set in Hawaii, some impressive CGI; and the most ambitious new show on the slate (for the second year running) is even more intriguing.
11. Up All Night Any comedy with Christina Applegate, Will Arnett, and Maya Rudolph can’t be bad. It just can’t be. Props, NBC.

Regardless of what you thought of the result (if you happened to see it), you have to admit that putting on a musical episode of Grey’s Anatomy—and doing so sincerely without a sense of parody or irony—indicates that Shonda Rhimes has some pretty major creator-balls. It certainly wasn’t Glee, and jazz hands were nowhere to be seen. It took a different tack to the trope of the musical episode, and it succeeded as much as it failed.

I get what Shonda tried to do, and I loved the idea of commemorating the songs that Grey’s made famous. But here’s the rub: a show’s music supervisor usually chooses songs whose tone sets the right mood for a certain scene and does so without much regard for the actual lyrics. So while the refrains of the songs fit in with the storyline (e.g. “Breathe,” “Wait,” “How We Operate,” “How To Save a Life”), the rest of the lyrics did not. Take The Fray’s hit song “How to Save a Life,” for example. It’s about failing to reverse a friend’s self-destruction, and that’s not quite applicable to Callie’s case. To be fair, however, some of the other songs (e.g. “Chasing Cars,” “Grace,” “The Story”) did actually make sense within the storyline.

The performances were a mixed bag. Sara Ramirez: awesome. Kevin McKidd, Chandra Wilson, Chyler Leigh: almost as awesome. Ellen Pompeo, Justin Chambers, Jessica Capshaw: surprisingly impressive. Kate Walsh, Kim Raver: points for trying. Patrick Dempsey, James Pickens Jr., Sandra Oh: musical no-shows! It’s no surprise that the talented singers were showcased more than the less-talented ones, but the editing of the scenes made the disparity so obvious. (Case in point: we saw and heard about one whole second of Addison singing.)

I loved the “book” of the musical, or the spoken script. Mark’s grief, Alex’s pessimism about his happily-ever-after, Arizona and Mark’s argument over Callie’s wishes, Arizona’s begging Callie to live, and—holy cow—Meredith’s elevator meltdown were all written with the brilliance we’ve come to expect from Shonda’s keystrokes.

But what really sold this episode was the absurd talent of one Sara Ramirez. This was her episode, and that’s not just because the hour was all about Callie. It’s because of Sara’s performance—on both sides of reality. In the the “real” world, she portrayed Callie’s trauma and terror with goosebump-raising authenticity. In the world of her imagination, she gave bravura performances of some our favorite songs with crackling emotion. The last chorus of “The Story” nearly brought Seattle Grace down and made the whole musical conceit worth it.

Was the episode a slam-dunk? Not nearly. Was the episode memorable, emotional, and bold? Absolutely. I applaud Shonda & Co., the cast, and the crew for taking the risk. And, not for nothing, I still have some of the tracks on repeat in my iTunes.

Note: I cannot tell a lie. Most of this post was repurposed from a blog post I wrote for Wetpaint. But I wanted to share my thoughts nonetheless. (And hey, cut a opportunistic, overstretched blogger some slack!)

No need to bother reading as many television blogs as I do. Here’s the news you should know:

• The Guardian reported that American television shows like Desperate Housewives, Friends, and The Late Show with David Letterman are doing more to win over the minds of Saudi youth than $500-million worth of American propaganda.
• NBC’s pilot Wonder Woman has found its hero and villain—Adrianne Palicki (Friday Night Lights) and Elizabeth Hurley (Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery), respectively.
• Aaron Sorkin—a screenwriter who just won an Oscar for The Social Network and whom I admire for creating The West Wing and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip—is returning to the small screen with an HBO drama about a cable news show.
• Before we get too sweet on HBO, though, bear in mind that the network passed on the comedy series Tilda, about a powerful Hollywood blogger. Why they would pass up the chance to work with Diane Keaton and Ellen Page is beyond me. (But let’s not forget, they also passed on Mad Men.)
• Oscar-nominated actress Taraji P. Henson (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) has joined Lost‘s Michael Emerson in J.J. Abrams’s CBS pilot Person of Interest, a drama about an ex-spy who fights crime vigilante-style.
• Emerson’s close friend and Lost costar Terry O’Quinn has joined the cast of ABC’s good-versus-evil pilot Hallelujah, created by Marc Cherry of Desperate Housewives fame.
• Ronald D. Moore’s NBC pilot The 17th Precinct is now a full-fledged Battlestar Galactica reunion, with Jamie Bamber, James Callis, and Tricia Helfer. The cast also includes Kristin Kreuk (Smallville), Stockard Channing (The West Wing), Matt Long (Mad Men), and Eamonn Walker (Kings).
• Speaking of Kings (which I loved), its young lead Christopher Egan will portray Edgar Allen himself in ABC’s pilot Poe.
• AMC is developing a Reconstruction-era drama called Hell on Wheels about a former Confederate soldier who heads to the West to help build the first Transcontinental Railroad—oh, and to seek vengeance. The series stars Anson Mount as the protagonist and rapper Common as a freed slave he meets along the way.
• Salma Hayek and ABC are developing an eight-hour miniseries based on Wicked—the Gregory Maguire novel, mind you, not the musical it spawned.
• Julianne Moore will play folksy Sarah Palin in HBO’s Game Change, a TV movie based on the John Heilemann & Mark Halperin book of the same name, which chronicled the 2010 election. Will her portrayal of Palin hold a candle to her former 30 Rock costar Tina Fey’s?
• HBO is developing a drama about Nazi-battling magicians and con men entitled Hobgoblin. That premise may strike you as strange, but James Hibbard at EW uncovered a reference to a real-life Nazi-battling magician. All right, HBO, you have my attention. Now, would you mind casting Diane Keaton and Ellen Page?

The start of the current television season doesn’t feel too long ago, but already, the broadcast networks are putting together their fall slates and ordering pilot episodes of potential new series. After the scouring the intel rounded up by The Futon Critic, here are my thoughts on the lineup.

• The paranormal and supernatural continue to capture the imaginations of network execs: they’ve greenlit pilots about superpowers (FOX’s Touch, CBS’s The Rememberer), magic (NBC’s 17th Pricinct), angels (CBS’s untitled Susannah Grant project, The CW’s Heavenly), zombies (The CW’s Awakening), witches (The CW’s Secret Circle), fairy tales (ABC’s Once Upon a Time, NBC’s Grimm), haunted houses (FOX’s Locke & Key), alternate universes (NBC’s REM), and forces of good and evil (ABC’s Hallelujah).
• Remakes are ever-popular. The television series Charlie’s Angels, Wonder Woman, Prime Suspect are being remade for ABC, NBC, and NBC, respectively.
• Mean neighborhoods are the settings for three ABC pilots—or really, mean subdivisions: Good Christian Bitches, Revenge, and Suburgatory.
• Four pilots highlight the agony and the ecstasy of being young in New York City: CBS’s Two Broke Girls, ABC’s Lost & Found, The CW’s Hart of Dixie, FOX’s Chicks and Dicks.
• Some pilots are more unique in their setting: the Amazon (ABC’s The River), 1840s Boston (ABC’s Poe), the friendly skies of the Jet Age (ABC’s Pan Am), a Plymouth Plantation living history museum (NBC’s Brave New World), a Playboy Club in 1960s New York City (NBC’s Playboy), and Reconstruction-era America (NBC’s The Crossing).
• ABC has two bitchy pilots in development: the comedy Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apt. 23 (featuring none other than James Van Der Beek) and the drama Good Christian Bitches, both of bitch—sorry—both of which will probably be renamed if they make it to air.
• There are plenty of impressive names to go along with the pilots: Ashley Judd (ABC’s Missing), Zooey Deschanel (FOX’s Chicks and Dicks), Sarah Michelle Gellar (CBS’s Ringer), Tim Allen (ABC’s The Last Days of Man), Ethan Hawke (FOX’s Exit Strategy), Kiefer Sutherland (FOX’s Touch), Debra Messing (NBC’s Smash), Patrick Wilson (CBS’s untitled Susannah Grant project), Amanda Peet (NBC’s Bent), Christina Ricci (ABC’s Pan Am), Maria Bello (NBC’s Prime Suspect), Minnie Driver (CBS’s Hail Mary), Leelee Sobieski (CBS’s Rookies), and Jason Isaacs (NBC’s REM).
• But there are also a lot of famous producers on the slate, like Robert de Niro, Samuel L. Jackson, Will Smith, Conan O’Brien, Mark Wahlberg, Jennifer Lopez, Will Smith, Jack Black, Peter Berg, Drew Barrymore, and Steven Spielberg.
• Shonda Rhimes (Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice) is trying again to get her third series on ABC: this time it’s the public relations drama In Crisis.
• J.J Abrams is back with two new dramas, NBC’s Person of Interest and FOX’s Alcatraz, both of which feature a Lost cast member. (Keep reading.)
• Lost alums are still making their presence known on the big screen. Should their pilots get picked up Michael Emerson (CBS’s Person of Interest), Henry Ian Cusick (ABC’s In Crisis), Nestor Carbonell (CBS’s The Ringer), and Jorge Garcia (FOX’s Alcatraz) will join Elizabeth Mitchell (V), Daniel Dae-Kim (Hawaii Five-0), Ian Somerhalder (The Vampire Diaries), and Kiele Sanchez (The Glades) as former castaways in new starring roles.

Because it’s already February of the next year and I’m feeling sheepish, let’s just speed through this! Here is the pantheon of shows which, in my opinion, made television a bit more divine in 2010. (Note: I have not yet seen Boardwalk Empire or Downton Abbey—forgive me.)

1. Mad Men (2010: #2)
2. Lost (2010: #3)
3. Breaking Bad (2010: #1)
4. Modern Family (2010: #7)
5. Community
6. Fringe (2010: #8)
7. Parks and Recreation
8. The Good Wife
9. The Buried Life
10. Justified

It’s often hard to remember all of the television I watch every year, but some episodes make themselves impossible to forget. The following hours or half-hours of television were exemplary in some way, whether it was for the writing or the direction of the episode; for the way they ended seasons or, in some cases, entire series; for their plots or subplots; for the emotional toll they took on the viewer; for the way they broke the mold and parted with tradition; or sometimes for just one scene or performance in particular.

1. Lost “The End” (Parts 1 & 2)
   … for providing an unexpected, moving, and controversial finale sure to keep fans talking, dissecting, and criticizing for years to come.
2. Grey’s Anatomy “Sanctuary/Death and All His Friends”
   … for the tensest, most emotionally-draining two hours of television this year.
3. Breaking Bad “Half Measures”
   … for the brutal, game-changing last thirty seconds alone.
4. Mad Men “The Suitcase”
   … for the most finely-written “bottle episode” I’ve ever seen.
5. Lost “The Candidate”
   … for being the first television episode to actually elicit tears.
6. 24 “Day 8: 2:00 PM-3:00 PM/Day 8: 3:00 PM-4:00 PM”
   … for finally letting Jack Bauer run off into the sunset (even if he is doing so under duress) after a tender moment with Chloe
7. Fringe “Over There” (Parts 1 & 2)
   … for smashing the two snowglobes—the two universes—together, and in so doing, kick-starting a powerful season to come.
8. The Buried Life “Make a Million Dollars” (Parts 1 & 2)
   … for the guys’ dogged persistence and cheerful optimism in the face of their most challenging task yet.
9. Glee “The Substitute”
   … for Gwyneth Paltrow’s bravura performance as the goofy Holly Holliday.
10. Dollhouse “Epitaph Two”
    … for providing an epic, post-apocalyptic finale, while still being a love letter to the fans jilted by the show’s cancellation.
11. Private Practice “Did You Hear What Happened to Charlotte King”
    … for not dwelling on the rape so much as the physical and psychological aftereffects.
12. Breaking Bad “Full Measure”
    … for ending another stellar season with more narrative propulsion than any other third-season finale
13. Modern Family “Family Portrait”
    … for the scene of Mitchell attacking the pigeon in slow-motion to the sound of Cam’s rendition of “Ave Maria.”
14. Mad Men “Public Relations”
    … for showing the chinks in Don’s well-groomed armor that will lead to his season-long descent.
15. Community “Modern Warfare”
    … for making a paintball game into a riotous send-up of action movies and for letting Jeff and Britta act on—and purge—their romantic tension.
16. The Walking Dead “Wildfire”
    … for the horrific aftermath of the zombie incursion on the camp and for the survivors’ foray into the wilds of downtown Atlanta.
17. So You Think You Can Dance “Meet the Top 11″
    … for the humility of Kent Boyd’s impassioned speech and for the jubilation of the finalists and their family upon hearing the good news.
18. Justified “Blind Spot”
    … for Raylan’s chickens coming home to roost in regards to his relationship with Ava, for his intensifying verbal sparring with Boyd, and for the introduction of the Crowder patriarch, Bo.
19. Damages “The Next One’s Going In Your Throat”
    … for efficiently connecting all the dots laid out in the third season in a devastating and thrilling finale.
20. The Good Wife “Hi”
    … for the triumphant scene in which Daniel and Kalinda cleverly win Peter a retrial.

Honorable mentions: Parks and Recreation “Telethon”; The Good Wife “Running”; Modern Family “Fears”; Glee “Grilled Cheesus”; Cougar Town “When the Time Comes”; Fringe “Entrada”; Top Chef “History Never Repeats”; The Office “Andy’s Play”; Lost “LA X”; Breaking Bad “Sunset”; Justified “Bulletville”; Breaking Bad “One Minute”; Grey’s Anatomy “These Arms of Mine”; Modern Family “Strangers on a Treadmill”; Modern Family “Starry Night”; The Buried Life “Get Married in Vegas”; 30 Rock “When It Rains, It Pours”; Glee “Furt”

In the waning hours of 2010, allow me to kick-start the Second Annual Primie Awards. Below are my favorite fifteen characters from the past year of television, again listed in descending order of awesomeness. (One could only dream of a context that would bring all of them together to share the screen!)

1. Kalinda Sharma (The Good Wife) If mystery is sexy, Kalinda is a bombshell. The tight-lipped private investigator radiates allure and ambiguity while keeping herself impassive and collected… most of the time. And when she let her emotions show, she does so in grand fashion, like taking a baseball bat to her rival’s car before leaving a kiss on the rear-view. She wins cool points even when she loses her cool. Played by Archie Panjabi.
2. Phil Dunphy (Modern Family) There’s not one weak link on this show, but this year, I’m honoring Phil. (Or, as Gloria would say, “Feeeeel.”) He’s so desperate in his attempts to stay hip and cool that it’s embarrassing, but in a weird way, it’s so embarrassing that he actually becomes kinda cool again. Huh. Played by Ty Burrell.
3. Olivia Dunham (Fringe) On our side, Olivia is empathetic, cool, and logical. In the alternate universe, she’s combative, single-minded, and impulsive—oh, and a redhead. When the two Olivias switched universes, each camouflaged herself like the other (by choice or otherwise), and the inherent difficulties and dilemmas were the highlights of the season so far. Played by Anna Torv.
4. Brittany Pierce (Glee) Who would have guessed that Brittany would be the new fan favorite in Season 2? Credit her brilliantly-dumb observations and her insane footwork, both of which were on full display in the episode devoted to her, “Britney/Brittany.” Played by Heather Morris.
5. Raylan Givens (Justified) Not only does this U.S. Marshal have a fun name to say out loud (and it must be said with a Southern accent), but he is also a helluva shot who vacillates between even- and hot-temperedness. It’s like he’ll try to calmly reason with you for five minutes before pulling his sidearm and shooting you between the eyes. Played by Timothy Olyphant.
6. Ellie Torres (Cougar Town) The role of “bitchy best friend” has been overplayed, but Ellie Torres revitalizes the trope with cutting wit and grudging love. As far as the Cul-de-sac Crew is concerned, she’s the cool kid on the block—the one by whom everyone wants to be liked. Hell, we all want Ellie to like us. Played by Christa Moore.
7. Dan Stark (The Good Guys) With all due respect to Josh Lyman, Dan Stark was the role Bradley Whitford was born to play. With a mustache second only to last year’s honoree Ron Swanson, Dan is a washed-up, libidinous joke of a detective who only stumbles into the the answers. But that never hurts his swag. Played by Bradley Whitford.
8. Holly Holliday (Glee) She may have only been on the show for one episode, but that’s all I needed to fall in love with this goofy, impulsive, hip substitute teacher. Between the Cee Lo singing, the Lindsay Lohan opining, and the Mary Todd Lincoln impersonating, Holly brought new levels of fun to the humdrum Lima High. Played by Gwyneth Paltrow.
9. Holly Flax (The Office) Her reappearance this year was fleeting, but she brings new life to the The Office whenever she shows up in Scranton. Whereas Michael’s other leading ladies only tolerated his goofiness, Holly matches it. When the jokes end, though, the reality of their former relationship and ensuing tension shine through. Still, if Michael is truly driving his Sebring into the sunset at the end of this season, I’m hoping Holly is riding shotgun. Played by Amy Ryan.
10. Gustavo Fring (Breaking Bad) Owner of the Los Pollos Hermanos fast-food chain by day, drug kingpin—well—also by day. Not only did he confront and subdue the Mexican cartel, but he also wrangled Walt into producing blue meth in bulk. And his emotionlessness and unflappability only make him even more intimidating. Played by Giancarlo Esposito.
11. Ria Torres (Lie to Me) Some characters don’t need a firearm or a killer right hook to be a badass. Ria will outwit or at least out-glare the guy across the interrogation table until he’s spilling the truth. What she lacks in training she more than makes up for in street smarts, improvisation, and spot-on instincts. Played by Monica Raymund.
12. Sarah Braverman (Parenthood) It’d be difficult to dislike any of the Braverman clan, but Sarah is especially endearing because of her self-deprecating motormouth and social inelegance. (How Gilmorean.) Her lot in life could be pitiable, but she’s a trouper—and good things come to her eventually. Played by Lauren Graham.
13. Zoe Graystone (Caprica) Zoe is a tough character to crack. Basically, the original Zoe died in a terrorist attack, but her soul lived on through her online avatar and was downloaded into a Cylon robot by her father. Boom. Three iterations of the same character, all different yet all variations on a theme. And the remaining Zoes are not particularly happy to live on in their current forms. Played by Alessandra Torresani.
14. Burt Hummel (Glee) To say he’s a supporting character is an understatement. He could not be more protective of his gay son Kurt, even if he’s still trying to find common ground with him. And not only is this journey of his interesting to watch, it serves as a road map for other parents of other Kurts out there. Played by Mike O’Malley.
15. Russell Edgington (True Blood) The millennia-old vampire king of Mississippi was the latest villain on True Blood, but he’s so maniacal, gaudy, and flamboyant that you almost wanted him to overstay his welcome if only for more ridiculousness. Played by Denis O’Hare.

Due to a fair amount of personal upheaval and a great amount of procrastination, this blog has been broadcasting dead air for the past three months. My bad. But I’m back now and ready to continue commenting upon my own (and enabling your) television addiction. Much as I would have loved to keep the Lost rewatch going, a change of residences took priority. But I’ll get back to the Island soon. In the meantime, please look forward to the Second Annual Primie Awards, celebrating the best in television over the past year… or, at least, television that I’ve seen so far. (I’m woefully behind on The Walking Dead.) We will now return to your scheduled programming. I promise.

“The Cost of Living”

SYNOPSIS: Recuperating in a tent, Eko has a hallucination of his brother Yemi, beckoning Eko to follow him. The tent catches fire, and Charlie and Hurley rescue Eko, but EKo then disappears. The following morning, Locke announces his intention to go to the Pearl to try to communicate with the others. Charlie and Hurley say that they couldn’t find Eko but that he was mumbling something about his brother, so Locke deduces that Eko is headed to the drug plane on top of the Pearl. He, Sayid (returned from his sea voyage), Desmond, and two other Losties named Nikki and Paulo head off in that direction. In the jungle, Eko has more hallucinations and then sees the Monster—just before the search party finds him. Together, the group reaches the Pearl. Eko finds that his brother’s body is not in the plane. Inside the Pearl, Sayid fiddles with the wiring and group happens upon another security feed, showing a bank of computers and a man with an eyepatch who seems to notice their surveillance. Above ground, Eko sees his “brother” again and follows him into a field, where his brother asks for Eko’s confession—but Eko says that he regrets nothing and did what he did to survive. But this seems to anger his brother, who stalks off. Eko tries following him but comes face to face with the Monster, which fatally attacks him. Hearing the commotion, the search party finds Eko, and Eko dies in Locke’s arms. Locke says that Eko’s dying words were that they’re “next.” On the Hydra Island, the Others have a funeral for Colleen, and Jack tells Ben he knows that Ben needs spinal surgery—and Ben eventually confirms this claim. Juliet, however, shows Jack a videotaped message in which she holds up placards asking Jack to kill Ben during the surgery. In the flashback, Eko takes Yemi’s place as priest of the village but is confronted by militia men who swindle away most of the Red Cross supplies. He kills the men but, in so doing, loses his credibility as a priest and realizes that those militia men will only be replaced by others.

THOUGHTS: Rest in peace, Eko. I hate that this narrative decision was dictated by behind-the-scenes necessity: actor Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje asked to be written off. But the man must have had his reasons, so I’ll let it go. Again, Eko is like Shannon in that he spent one season on the show and was then killed off shortly into the next season, so part of me says, why bother bring him back? But if you look at the series as a continuous story without season breaks, it matters not. And this was a great story for Eko. His monologue of non-repentance is probably one of the best of the shows. And we see the Monster again as the terrifying and malicious force that it is, not just as the curious observer it seemed to be in its previous run-ins with Eko. Also, I want to address Nikki and Paulo, two characters who were doomed from the start. They’ll be killed off soon because the producers realized how little any of the audience liked them. However, as one who is sympathetic to television writers, I would have given them a shot… but I do think that they were introduced sloppily. It would have been better, I think, if they were introduced as near-strangers to our band of Losties, not people whom they knew all along and whom we’re only just meeting. But getting back to the story at hand, I think the Hydra Island stuff was the most interesting storyline of the episode. Jack showing off how perceptive he is to Ben, Ben denying it, Ben confessing his master plan and how it was ruined, Juliet revealing her duplicity—all very intriguing and delightful drama. Next up: the mid-season finale, in which these Hydra plots will come to a head.

“I Do”

SYNOPSIS: Jack talks to Ben about his spine situation and that he needed surgery “yesterday.” Ben says he’s ready for immediate surgery, but Jack says he never agreed to do it—he doesn’t think Ben will hold up his end of the bargain. At the construction site, Alex ambushes the Others as Kate and Sawyer continue breaking up rocks: she’s looking for Karl. The Others capture her and drag her away. Juliet arrives and tells Kate to convince Jack to do the surgery or else they’ll kill Sawyer, and she takes Kate to deliver the message. Kate does so, and the ploy angers Jack. Back in the cages, Kate demands to know why Sawyer is so defeated and Sawyer reveals that they’re not on their Island. Even despite their desperation, the two kiss passionately, which leads to, uh, other passion. Meanwhile, Jack manages to escape from his tank and spots Kate and Sawyer embracing on the surveillance feed. Ben walks in on him, and Jack says that he’ll do the surgery if Ben can get him off the island. The next morning, the surgery begins with Jack operating, Juliet assisting, and Tom watching. Pickett takes this chance to kill Sawyer, and he holds Sawyer at gunpoint as Kate pleads with him not to do it. Jack then cuts Ben’s kidney sac as leverage and demands that the Others release Kate and Sawyer. He tells Kate over a walkie-talkie to tell him a story he told her when they first met when they get to the beach so that he knows that they’re safe. Kate is reluctant to leave without Jack, but he yells at her to run. On the Island, Locke, Sayid, Nikki, and Paulo hold an impromptu funeral for Eko in the jungle, and Locke spots what seems to be a message to him engraved on Eko’s walking stick. In the flashback, Kate tries settling down with a husband in Miami, and the U.S. Marshal pursuing her offers her immunity if she can truly settle down, but she reveals her fugitive status to her husband and flees.

THOUGHTS: I don’t think it was a hare-brained idea to air six episodes in a row during the fall and then the rest in a row during the spring since it gave Lost addicts a fix, but damn, if this episode didn’t leave on a (awesomely) frustrating cliffhanger. Will Kate obey Jack and leave him on the Hydra Island—possibly forever—or will she try to rescue him? Well, we know now that she’ll do the former, but it seemed at the time like she could go either way. That final scene was probably the best and most intense of the episode. But there were two runners-up: the scene in which Jack taunts Ben and mocks his plight and the scene in which Kate realizes why Sawyer has given up trying to escape and that he was looking out for her morale. The flashback provided a nice foil to Kate’s on-Island flight-or-fight dilemma, and it’s especially good because of the addition of one Nathan Fillion of Firefly fame. But anyway, it’s a good thing I don’t have to wait three months for the next episode, eh?

“Not in Portland”

SYNOPSIS: Kate and Sawyer run, and Juliet calls Jack’s bluff and orders the other Others to hunt down Kate and Sawyer and kill them if necessary. Angered, Jack tells Tom about how Juliet wanted Jack to botch the surgery, and Tom makes Juliet leave the room. At the beach, Kate and Sawyer are helpless without a boat, and the Others catch up to them, but Alex arrives and helps them elude the Others. She offers passage to the main Island in exchange for their help rescuing her boyfriend Karl. Meanwhile, Ben awakens and overhears the whole situation. He asks to speak to Juliet alone. They converse privately, and then Juliet asks Jack to finish the surgery; in exchange, she’ll help Kate and Sawyer escape. Kate, Sawyer, and Alex go to a different part of the Hydra compound, overtake the guard, and find Karl undergoing some sort of brainwash experiment. At the beach, Pickett finds the escapees loading onto Alex’s canoe and is about to shoot them when Juliet emerges from the jungle and shoots him dead. She lets the escapees go, but holds Alex back, saying that Ben would kill Karl if Alex went along. (By this point, we assume that Alex is Ben’s daughter.) Juliet gives Kate a walkie-talkie, and Kate tells Jack to story he told her, signaling that she’s safe. He tells her never to come back for him. She, Sawyer, and Karl depart for the main Island. Jack finishes the surgery and later asks Juliet what Ben said to her to make her help him. Juliet tells him that she’s been on the island for more than three years and Ben told her that he’d finally let her go home. In the flashback, Juliet’s brilliant fertility research helps her cancer-stricken sister conceive, and she attracts the attention of one Richard Alpert from Mittelos Bioscience in Portland who tries to recruit her. Her only impediment is that her controlling ex-husband (and boss) won’t let her leave, but he is suspciously hit by a bus shortly thereafter. We get the idea that Juliet takes the job and that’s how she arrived on the Island, especially when Alpert tells her that their facility is “not quite in Portland.”

THOUGHTS: Coming back from the mini-hiatus, we get an episode that’s as action-packed and dramatic as any season premiere. And our first glimpse into Juliet’s past and how fate—or, perhaps more accurately, the machinations of the Others—brought her to the Island. (Can we definitely conclude that the Others had a hand in the “accident” that killed Juliet’s ex? No. But it does seem like too much of a coincidence to ignore.) This episode ratchets up the tension significantly, seeing as how now Ben knows about Juliet’s plot to kill him. It’s surprising that Juliet ordered Kate and Sawyer captured or killed and that Jack revealed Juliet’s plot. Perhaps Juliet was playing along or perhaps not, but in any case, Jack’s counterattack is just pure spite. There’s a whole lot of moral ambiguity to go around in this episode! And, as a bonus, we first meet Richard Alpert, who will play a significant role in the second half of the series.

“Flashes Before Your Eyes”

SYNOPSIS: Desmond retrieves Hurley and Charlie from the camp to talk to Sayid and Locke in the jungle. The latter explain that Eko is dead and that Charlie and Hurley need to ease the camp’s panic. Just then, Desmond seems to get a premonition and runs toward the beach. Arriving there, he finds that a woman is being swept out to sea. It turns out to be Claire, and Desmond rescues and resuscitates her. Charlie is curious to know how he knew she was drowning and how he knew about the lightning bolt, so he and Hurley conspire to get him drunk. They do, but Desmond keeps mum. Charlie calls him a coward, and Desmond attacks him and recalls what he experienced following the Swan implosion. And what he experienced turns out to be time travel back to 1996 when he was happily dating Penny and contemplating marriage—but in this iteration, he keeps getting flash-forwards to his Island life. He tries to ask for Charles Widmore’s permission, but Widmore says that Desmond will never be a good man. (Seeing the boat model in Widmore’s office reminds Desmond of the boat he’ll own later, the Elizabeth.) On the way out of the office, Desmond sees Charlie playing guitar on the street and recognizes him from his flash-forwards, but Charlie doesn’t recognize Desmond. He meets a physicist friend of his at a pub, who denies any possibility of time travel. Desmond tries to prove it to his friend by predicting what would happen in the soccer match playing on the television, but the game doesn’t go as he predicts. He goes home to Penny, who comforts him. The next day, he tries to buy an engagement ring, but the lady behind the counter—Eloise Hawking—refuses to sell it to him because he’s not meant to marry Penny. She explains to Desmond how the universe has a way of “course-correcting” and that everything that is meant to happen will happen somehow. Later, he breaks up with Penny, claiming to not be the man he’s not to be. Penny calls him a coward. Desmond drowns his sorrows at the same pub and then watches the events he predicted unfold during that night’s soccer match. Then he realizes that he just had the wrong night in mind and that he can still master his own destiny, but just then, he ends up in the middle of a bar fight and is knocked unconscious. It’s then that he wakes up naked in the jungle. Back in the present, Charlie takes Desmond back to Desmond’s tent, and they both apologize. But then Desmond explains that it was Charlie who was going to be struck by lightning and Charlie who was going to drown trying to save Claire, and that no matter what happens, Charlie will die.

THOUGHTS: Here’s the first of Desmond’s mind-blowing time-travel episodes. On paper (or on blog, rather), it might sounds completely bonkers, but on screen, it’s so cleverly constructed that you have to applaud the writers for their creativity and dramatic know-how. Not only does this episode deal with revising the past (in a It’s a Wonderful Life kind of way), but it also deals with some pretty heady concepts dealing with determinism—the old “fate versus free will” debate. And it’s Eloise Hawking who introduces these concepts, a woman who will continue to play an eerily prescient role in the remainder of the series and who is very much connected to Charles Widmore. This episode is unique because up until now, we haven’t seen one uninterrupted flashback that takes up most of the episode. The on-Island events are really just bookends. That last scene, however, is certainly a doozy: all this time we thought that Desmond was saving Claire, but no, he has actually been saving Charlie. And now he thinks that he can’t save Charlie forever. If he weren’t drunk at the time, I doubt Desmond would have told Charlie all of that, because that’s a serious bummer of which Charlie should have been blissfully ignorant!

“A Tale of Two Cities”

SYNOPSIS: We see a woman hosting a book club in what looks like a suburban community—but then the ground shakes and a plane falls from the sky, and only then do we realize that this is the Others’ community. The man we know as Henry sends Ethan and Goodwin to the fuselage crash site and to the tail, respectively. Back in the present, Jack wakes up in some sort of glass cell. The book club lady appears on the other side of the glass and introduces herself as Juliet. She has food, but Jack refuses to eat. He finally seems to relent but attacks Juliet when she enters the cell and uses her to secure his escape, and Henry lets him go. When Jack tries exiting through a door, however, water rushes in and he and Juliet scramble to close the door. Juliet then knocks him out. When he comes to (back in the cell), he deduces that he’s in an underwater aquarium. Juliet tells him that this is the Hydra station and that they know all about him and his life. He asks after his ex-wife, and Juliet tells him that she’s happy. Outside the cell, Henry commends Juliet, and she says, “Thank you, Ben.” Meanwhile, Kate wakes up in a locker room, and Tom instructs her to take a shower and to put on a certain dress. She does, and he takes her to a beach, where Ben is waiting at a table with a full breakfast. She asks why he did it all, and he said that the next two weeks will be unpleasant and that he wanted her to have something nice to hang on to. Sawyer wakes up in an outdoor cage with a young man named Karl in the opposite cage. Sawyer tries pushing a button in the cage (against Karl’s warnings) and is electrocuted on the third push. He finally beats the system and is rewarded with a fish biscuit and some water. He then learns that this is where the polar bears were kept. Karl tries to escape and sets Sawyer free, but they’re both captured, and Sawyer is put back. Kate is brought to the opposite cage. In the flashback, Jack is having trouble dealing with his divorce and accuses his father of having an affair with Sarah, and Jack learns from Sarah this confrontation cost Christian his sobriety.

THOUGHTS: After all the events of the last season finale, it’s good to have an episode with a narrower scope—this one just focuses on the three abductees and their plights at the Others’ so-called home. That said, it looks nothing like the suburbs-like settlement we see at the beginning of the episode. Hmm! (Speaking of which, that was a very clever way to begin the episode. It seems like a total non sequitur featuring some woman we’ve never seen before until we see Oceanic 815 coming down and realize that, hey, we’re on the Island after all!) And a big welcome to Juliet, who will be with us for the next three seasons and will eventually become a beloved character. For now, though, she just seems like an unflappable Other who might be more on Jack’s side than the other Others. And we finally learn that Henry’s name is actually Ben. (Though you already knew that if you’ve been reading these blog posts!) The conversation between Ben and Kate is deeply unsettling and reveals the extent of Ben’s vengefulness. All in all, this episode is an intriguingly creepy departure from the usual Lostie saga. (And more kudos for Julie Bowen and John Terry for so capably upping the drama again in Jack’s flashback.)

“The Glass Ballerina”

SYNOPSIS: Concerned that Jack can’t see the signal fire, Sayid has Jin and Sun sail the Elizabeth farther around the Island. They find the dock (from which Jack, Kate, and Sawyer were taken) and get to work building a new fire. Sun asks Sayid why this one is so large, and Sayid confesses that he suspects that their friends have been taken and that he wants to provoke an attack to capture some Others to interrogate. Jin wises up to the charade and asks for a gun. Once night falls, Sun stays in the boat while Sayid and Jin lie in wait, but the Others approach from the water and board the boat. An Other named Colleen finds Sun and seems to know all about her and knows that she won’t kill her, but Sun shoots her in the stomach and then flees overboard. Jin and Sayid rush out to to the dock when they hear the commotion, and Jin finds Sun uninjured in the water. Earlier, at the Hydra, Colleen tells Ben that the Losties have a boat, and Ben seems worried that they’ll find the Hydra, so he orders an assault team to capture the boat. Meanwhile, Colleen’s husband Danny orders Kate and Sawyer to break up rocks at a construction site under the threat of being Tasered. Alex, Rousseau’s daughter, whispers to Kate from a bush and asks her if she’s seen a boy in a cage. Later, Sawyer impulsively kisses Kate, and steals a gun when the Others try to break them up, but he is forced to drop it when he sees that Juliet has Kate at gunpoint. As Sawyer and Kate talk over the event later and conspire to overtake the Others, Ben watches them via surveillance cameras. He later introduces himself to Jack and tells him that he needs him for a specific task and that he’ll take Jack home if he does the task. Jack tells him that he thinks the Others are stuck on the Island just like the Losties, but Ben proves that he has contact with the outside world by showing Jack a video of the Red Sox winning the World Series after Oceanic 815 crashed. In the flashback, Sun’s father catches her having an affair with the hotel heir Jae Lee, and he demands that Jin “deliver a message.” Though Jin decides to spare Jae Lee’s life, Jae Lee commits suicide. At the funeral, Sun’s father tells her that it is not his place to tell Jin of the affair.

THOUGHTS: The scope of the story is being widened slowly but surely: now Sayid, Jin, and Sun are added to the mix. Sayid, ever intuitive, realizes that something is amiss and immediately takes action to get the drop on the Others, but they outsmart him by approaching by sea (Ethan fooled Sayid the same way in Season 1!). Luckily, it all turns out okay for our Losties and not so well for the Others, all because Sun turns into a bit of a badass and flat-out shoots Colleen right as Colleen is going on about how Sun won’t shoot her. The plot thickens at the Hydra: Ben shows Jack the full scope of the Others’ operation in an inventive way. It’s almost jarring to see real-world events literally superimposed on the Island events. All this time, it really had felt like the Losties were in a snow globe. (And it’s kinda funny that the airdates and the on-Island timeframe have become so distanced—we’re still in 2004 on the Island at this point.) The Others force Sawyer and Kate to do back-breaking manual labor, and Sawyer rebels by showing the Others that they can’t breaking his spirit—nor his ladykiller ways! It could have been totally incongruous, but the kiss felt so natural and so right for some reason. I mean, why not, right? The flashback is interesting—Sun, you naughty lady—but not a favorite installment in the Jin/Sun story and not because Jin and Sun are at odds but because it’s not as elegant as some of the other flashbacks.

“Further Instructions”

SYNOPSIS: Locke wakes up in the jungle after the Swan detonation and realizes he can’t speak. He goes back to the Losties’ camp and finds Charlie and solicits his help. He builds a sweat lodge and has Charlie stand guard as he hallucinates inside. In his fever dream, Boone leads him around an airport in a wheelchair saying that Locke has to help someone. Locke realizes it’s Eko, and he emerges from the sweat lodge—his voice restored—and sets off with Charlie to save Eko’s life. They find the crater from the Swan implosion, they find signs that Eko was dragged off by a polar bear, and they find Hurley in the jungle. Hurley tells them of the Others confrontation, and Locke tells him to go deliver the message as the Others told him to do. Locke and Charlie find the bear’s cave and Locke heads in armed with a torch and hairspray. He finds a skeleton of a Dharma person and then finds Eko, badly injured. The bear drags Eko further into the cave, but Locke uses the hairspray to scorch the bear, and it releases Eko. Hurley finds Desmond naked in the jungle, and Desmond tells him about how he turned activated the Swan’s fail-safe. When Hurley freaks out about Jack, Kate, and Sawyer, Demond reassures him by reminding him of Locke’s speech—which doesn’t happen until the end of the episode when Locke and Charlie return to the camp and Locke promises that he’ll find the abductees. Hurley realizes this is the speech Demond was talking about and is duly weirded out. In the flashback, Locke picks up a hitchhiker named Eddie and takes him to the commune at which he’s currently residing, and Eddie ends up staying six weeks. But Eddie turns out to be an undercover cop investigating the marijuana the commune is growing, and Locke promises the leaders that he’ll fix the situation, but he ends up unable to kill Eddie—and feeling impotent once more.

THOUGHTS: And now, for a change of pace, we have an episode that deals with neither the abductees nor the Others but just with the Losties. Locke’s hallucinations gave the production crew an excuse to get a bit stylish with the show, and we get an airport scene loaded with clever symbolism (and a fair amount of glamour!). And it’s always good to see a deceased character like Boone again, and his appearance is especially fitting since Locke still bears a lot of guilt about not being able to save him. Locke isn’t about to let another person die for a mistake he made, so he sets out to find and rescue Eko. And he finds the man in the clutches of the polar bears, which is also fun since Sawyer is trapped in the bear’s former abode. The other especially interesting aspect of this episode is that it eludes to Desmond’s emerging clairvoyance. For now, we’re just wondering “How did he know?” But we’ll see a lot more examples in the episodes to come. The flashback is interesting in that it’s so kooky but at the same time sensical. In a way, it makes perfect sense that Locke would deal with his anger over his father’s con by staying at a marijuana-growing commune. And the Island storyline and flashback both deal with Locke’s ability/inability to “fix” things—and hey, that’s another way in which he mirrors Jack.

“Every Man for Himself”

SYNOPSIS: In the Hydra aquarium, Jack and Juliet argue over who has authority amongst the Others, but Ben summons Juliet because the submarine has just arrived and Colleen is on the verge of dying from Sun’s bullet. Pickett is notified, and Sawyer realizes that if Pickett is preoccupied by Colleen’s injury, he won’t notice the puddle extending from the cage and Sawyer can electrocute him. But it’s Ben who approaches the cage next—and Sawyer tries his plan, but Ben tells him he had the electricity turned off and then beats him unconscious. He comes to on an operating table, but the Others inject him with something and he loses consciousness again. When he comes to again, Ben shows him a rabbit in a cage and starts violently shaking the cage. The rabbit keels over. Ben informs him that they implanted him and the rabbit with the same pacemaker that will kill him if his heartbeat gets too fast. He’s taken back to his cage, and Kate wants them to escape, but Sawyer tells her it’s no use, knowing he can’t outrun the Others now. Meanwhile, Juliet retrieves Jack to help with Colleen’s surgery. On the way to the operating room, Jack sees spinal x-rays. He is unable to save Colleen, though. Pickett, enraged, beats Sawyer until he gets Kate to admit that she loves Sawyer. Later, Kate squeezes out the top of her cage, but goes back in when Sawyer refuses to budge, reminding him of their “live together, die alone” motto. In the operating room, Jack remarks on the x-rays to Juliet and asks her who he’s there to save. Ben takes Sawyer on a arduous hike, and when Sawyer wonders if this is his tactic to get his heart beating too fast, Ben shows him the same rabbit, tells him that he doesn’t have a pacemaker inside, and says that the Others are not killers. They finally reach their destination, a lookout point from which Sawyer can see that the Hydra is on a second smaller island at a distance from the main Island. Ben says that the only way to earn the respect of a con man is to con him. On the main Island, Desmond constructs a lightning rod just in time to save Claire from a freak bolt. In the flashback, Cassidy visits Sawyer in jail and tells him of their daughter Clementine, but Sawyer denies his paternity. He cons a fellow roommate into revealing the location of a stash of $10 million so that he can have the last six years of his sentence commuted, and he tells the warden to have his reward but in an Albuquerque back account in the name of Clementine Phillips.

THOUGHTS: And now we’re back with the abductees on the Hydra—shocker!—Island. The main Island must be pretty huge if the Losties never noticed a second island nearby. But then again, we know that it’s big since they’re always talking about cross-Island walks taking multiple days. This episode advanced the plot in a lot of cool ways. The Others come up with a crafty way of getting Sawyer to abandon his escape ruses and later reveal to him how futile escape would be anyway. Ben reveals himself to be a pretty wily con man in his own right. Kate professes her love for Sawyer, though it’s ambiguous whether she was lying or not. Jack realizes the real reason why he’s at the Hydra if not the person he was brought to save. And Desmond continues to show off his knowledge of the future and more of the Losties take notice. And in the flashback, we are reminded of two things: a) Sawyer is extraordinarily good as conning, and b) he has a heart! He’s not without emotions, after all! Hooray!

Television news and scoop, right off the grill:

• The next season of Dexter will feature laudable thespians Julia Stiles (Save the Last Dance) and Jonny Lee Miller (Trainspotting, Eli Stone).
• A failed FOX pilot was rescued by A&E: the cable network ordered 13 episodes of Breakout Kings, a drama about an unlikely alliance between U.S. Marshalls and ex-cons.
• Mystery Science Theater 3000, a 90s-era show that lovingly lambasted terrible B-movies with snarky commentary, now has installments available for viewing on Hulu—with movies like Secret Agent Super Dragon, Giant Gila Monster, and Horrors of Spider Island.
• David Strathairn—star of Good Night, and Good Luck and recent Emmy winner for his work on Temple Grandin—has been cast in a new Syfy series called Alphas about crime-fighters imbued with superhuman abilities.
• And Syfy’s new series Three Inches—a show about crime-fighters imbued with slightly-less-super-human abilities—has found its leading man in James Marsters of Buffy and Caprica fame.
• Cable network Oxygen has acquired the syndication rights for Glee and will start airing reruns in 2013. On top of that, the network is also mulling over the idea of a reality-competition show centered around the show.
• Frodo himself—a.k.a. Elijah Wood—will star in an FX comedy series called Wilfred about a man and his (titular) dog, who is “part Labrador retriever and part Russell Crowe on a bender.”
• And in other FX comedy news, Michael Cera (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Arrested Development) and web-series-auteur Derek Waters are developing a series for the network entitled 13th Grade, about a high-school graduate who refuses to mature.
• Anakin Skywalker himself—a.k.a. Hayden Christensen—has sued USA Network, claiming that the idea for their hit show Royal Pains was based on a pitch he and his brother tried to sell to the network.
• Ronald D. Moore, the man half-responsible for re-imagining Battlestar Galactica, is taking his talents to NBC, where he’s developing a drama described as an “adult Harry Potter.”
• And for those of us who are still hungry for more Battlestar Galactica—and not for a reboot movie franchise starring Justin Timberlake—Syfy will produce an online series called Blood & Chrome about Bill Adama and his perils during First Cylon War.
• Brothers & Sisters spoiler alert! Emily VanCamp is leaving the show and will only appear in a few episodes next season. She tells Michael Ausiello that she thinks Rebecca has “run her course” on the show.
• Lie to Me spoiler alert! Mekhi Pfifer is exiting the show for narrative reasons: the story will see the Lightman Group end its relationship with the FBI.
• An HBO pilot called Miraculous Year has lined up some serious star-power. The story focuses on a Broadway composer whose brashness and bad behavior affects both his family and the show he’s trying to put on. The cast includes Norbert Leo Butz (Dirty Rotten Scoundrels on Broadway), Susan Sarandon (Thelma & Louise), Hope Davis (American Splendor), Lee Pace (Pushing Daisies), Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon), Eddie Redmayne (Red on Broadway), and Patti Lupone (Evita on Broadway).
• AMC’s latest pilot is Hell on Wheels, a western revolving around the building of the Transcontinental Railroad, and it stars rapper Common as a half-black, half-white freed slave.
• The updated version of The Rockford Files starring Dermot Mulroney seemed hot this pilot season but then fizzled fast, and now Michael Ausiello reports that Josh Holloway (Sawyer on Lost) is being considered to take over the lead role.
• FOX has decreed that the exciting prehistoric action/drama Terra Nova, produced by Steven Spielberg, will premiere next fall instead of midseason. Patience, friends! (And the other news of note about Terra Nova is that it will film in Australia.)
• But you can see another Spielberg-produced drama earlier. Alien-invasion-themed Falling Skies—starring Noah Wyle (ER) and Moon Bloodgood (Journeyman)—will premiere on TNT next summer, and i09 has a gallery of promotional photos. Post-apocalyptic fun!
• Glee creator Ryan Murphy has announced that he’s developing a musical TV series that will star Kristin Chenoweth, who was nominated for an Emmy for her guest turn last season on the show. But this spin-off will be unrelated to Glee and closer in tone to Murphy’s previous creation, Nip/Tuck.
• And speaking of Glee, television comedy legend Carol Burnett has been cast as Sue Sylvester’s mom.
• And speaking of Sue Sylvester, Jane Lynch will host Saturday Night Live on October 9th.
• Entourage is finally drawing to a close. Next season will be the final bow and will probably consist of six episodes. But a feature film may follow, said HBO programming co-president Michael Lombardo.
• Rumors are circulating that the next season of Top Chef will be an all-star season, especially since previous contestants have been spotted with camera crews in New York City.
• And finally, please enjoy this awesome (and only slightly annoying) musical tribute to brilliant-but-cancelled shows.