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Completist destiny: Shows I’ve watched beginning to end

By on Jul 3, 2014 in Inner Monologues | 0 comments

Completist Destiny, as defined by Wikipedia, is the belief that a television addict such as myself is destined—nay, divinely ordained—to watch a series completely and completely chronologically. Fine, I admit: that might just be a dogma of my own creation. But I stick to it. (This is where you, in solidarity, shout, “Leave no episode behind!”) Of course, I have to compromise sometimes, like when networks boneheadedly air episodes out of order, or when I’m watching TV with someone who’s not as obsessive-compulsive devoted to the intended chronology as I am. Anyway, I was thinking today about the series I’ve watched in their entireties—i.e. series for which I’ve seen every episode made available. Here they all are, from the most prolific to the shortest-lived… and even the ones I’m not so proud I watched! The X-Files (205 episodes)...

2010 Primies: Best Episodes

By on Jan 23, 2011 in The Primies | 0 comments

It’s often hard to remember all of the television I watch every year, but some episodes make themselves impossible to forget. The following hours or half-hours of television were exemplary in some way, whether it was for the writing or the direction of the episode; for the way they ended seasons or, in some cases, entire series; for their plots or subplots; for the emotional toll they took on the viewer; for the way they broke the mold and parted with tradition; or sometimes for just one scene or performance in particular. Lost “The End” (Parts 1 & 2) … for providing an unexpected, moving, and controversial finale sure to keep fans talking, dissecting, and criticizing for years to come. Grey’s Anatomy “Sanctuary/Death and All His Friends” … for the tensest, most emotionally-draining two hours of television this year. Breaking Bad...

The Prime Times: Post “Lost” Edition

By on Feb 26, 2010 in In Brief | 0 comments

Lordy lordy, do I have a ton of news items to share. Let’s waste no time: Most excitingly, William Keck at TV Guide reports that Terry O’Quinn (Lost‘s Locke) is pitching a series in which he and Michael Emerson (Ben) star as “suburban hit men juggling family issues.” My buddy Andy says he might not be able to see these Emmy-winners as anything other than their iconic Lost personas, but I think that we’ll eventually get accustomed to them portraying different characters. Eventually. And speaking of shedding past roles, SCI FI Wire tells us that James Callis (Battlestar Galactica‘s Gaius Baltar) has joined the cast of FlashForward and will appear in this season’s last handful of episodes. The fate-defying drama returns March 18 for an uninterrupted run of 13 installments. Nip/Tuck‘s series finale airs on Wednesday, which means I...

41 Shows Reviewed in 140 Characters or Less

By on Dec 23, 2009 in Inanities | 1 comment

Note: The following post first appeared as an article by the same name in The Climax, Hampshire College’s newspaper. Also, some of these micro-reviews may exceed 140 characters—my bad! I am a student of television. Writing television scripts is my Division III [a senior project, in Hampshire speak]. So I have no shame in the fact that I watch all of the shows below religiously. I study the craft, folks. That’s a lie—I am ashamed of some of them, but I’m feeling forthright in my fourth-year-ness. Anyway, I only assumed that I couldn’t review all my shows for The Climax before I graduate. And then it occurred to me: I could review each in 140 characters or less. (Arbitrary number, I swear.) 24 Some seasons fire on all cylinders, and some make you want to shoot yourself in the kneecap. But I’m still a fan of the Bauer Power Hour. 30 Rock Is Tina Fey God? Even if not, this show is in...

“Lost”: Even More Sublime in Real Time

By on Oct 21, 2009 in Fandom | 0 comments

What if Lost were presented like 24, replete with a ticking timecode and split-screen? YouTube user pyram1dhead gives us the answer, and it is done incredibly adeptly—so much so that you almost wish you could watch the whole series this way. Culling footage from (by my count) six episodes and one webisode, this video represents a comprehensive timeline of the crash of Oceanic 815 and what happens on the island before, during, and after. (Spoiler warning! Read no further if you’re interested in watching the first three seasons.) We see Juliet burning her muffins, talking to Amelia about Ben’s nefarious activities, hosting her book club, and being interrupted mid-sentence by the earth shaking. We see Desmond confront Kelvin, inadvertently kill him, and rush back to the Swan to reset the 108-minute countdown. We see Jack flirt with the flight attendant and comfort row-mate...