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Completist destiny: Shows I’ve watched beginning to end

By on Jul 3, 2014 in Inner Monologues | 0 comments

Completist Destiny, as defined by Wikipedia, is the belief that a television addict such as myself is destined—nay, divinely ordained—to watch a series completely and completely chronologically. Fine, I admit: that might just be a dogma of my own creation. But I stick to it. (This is where you, in solidarity, shout, “Leave no episode behind!”) Of course, I have to compromise sometimes, like when networks boneheadedly air episodes out of order, or when I’m watching TV with someone who’s not as obsessive-compulsive devoted to the intended chronology as I am. Anyway, I was thinking today about the series I’ve watched in their entireties—i.e. series for which I’ve seen every episode made available. Here they all are, from the most prolific to the shortest-lived… and even the ones I’m not so proud I watched! The X-Files (205 episodes)...

The Blog Post Where Plot Twists Go to Die

By on Mar 21, 2012 in Inanities | 0 comments

Or, Everything That’s Ever Been Spoiled For Me Try as hard as I might, there’s no escaping spoilers in my role as (amateur) TV critic. As I’ve said before, I’m incapable keeping up with all the worthwhile, buzz-worthy, quality TV on the air today. And while most blogs and publications are good about preceding spoilers with warnings and burying plot reveals in the body of an article instead of leading with them, others are not so conscientious. And even with the diligent outlets, there is a statute of limitations with spoilers—at a certain point, after an arbitrary amount of time has passed, it has to be allowable to rehash and discuss major plot points without recrimination. So I don’t always blame the spoil-er for the spoiling; I just regret that it happened (unless I just don’t care). At the risk of paying the sin forward, here are all the twists...

The Prime Times: Patriotic Housewives Edition

By on Mar 11, 2011 in In Brief | 0 comments

No need to bother reading as many television blogs as I do. Here’s the news you should know: The Guardian reported that American television shows like Desperate Housewives, Friends, and The Late Show with David Letterman are doing more to win over the minds of Saudi youth than $500-million worth of American propaganda. NBC’s pilot Wonder Woman has found its hero and villain—Adrianne Palicki (Friday Night Lights) and Elizabeth Hurley (Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery), respectively. Aaron Sorkin—a screenwriter who just won an Oscar for The Social Network and whom I admire for creating The West Wing and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip—is returning to the small screen with an HBO drama about a cable news show. Before we get too sweet on HBO, though, bear in mind that the network passed on the comedy series Tilda, about a powerful Hollywood blogger. Why they would pass...

The Prime Times: Part Labrador, Part Russell Crowe Edition

By on Sep 9, 2010 in In Brief | 0 comments

Television news and scoop, right off the grill: The next season of Dexter will feature laudable thespians Julia Stiles (Save the Last Dance) and Jonny Lee Miller (Trainspotting, Eli Stone). A failed FOX pilot was rescued by A&E: the cable network ordered 13 episodes of Breakout Kings, a drama about an unlikely alliance between U.S. Marshalls and ex-cons. Mystery Science Theater 3000, a 90s-era show that lovingly lambasted terrible B-movies with snarky commentary, now has installments available for viewing on Hulu—with movies like Secret Agent Super Dragon, Giant Gila Monster, and Horrors of Spider Island. David Strathairn—star of Good Night, and Good Luck and recent Emmy winner for his work on Temple Grandin—has been cast in a new Syfy series called Alphas about crime-fighters imbued with superhuman abilities. And Syfy’s new series Three Inches—a show about crime-fighters...

The Prime Times: Get Your Fill Edition

By on Apr 18, 2010 in In Brief | 0 comments

Yes, this installment of The Prime Times is chock-full of fortifying TV scoop. Yumm-o! Steven Spielberg is in talks with FOX to develop a dinosaur drama! (That sentence begged for an exclamation point.) The project, tentatively titled Terra Nova, would see a family from the future travel to prehistoric times. But obviously, it might be too ambitious a project to produce: think of how hard it’d be to round up all the dinosaur actors in Los Angeles and fly them out to some remote jungle to start filming. ABC family renewed Greek for a fourth season, which creator Sean Smith says will be its last, telling Entertainment Weekly, “We’re all looking at this as an opportunity to come back, wrap up the show, and end strong. ABC Family could’ve ended it, but they gave us this opportunity and I don’t want to squander it.” A&E is getting back into the drama...