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Completist destiny: Shows I’ve watched beginning to end

By on Jul 3, 2014 in Inner Monologues | 0 comments

Completist Destiny, as defined by Wikipedia, is the belief that a television addict such as myself is destined—nay, divinely ordained—to watch a series completely and completely chronologically. Fine, I admit: that might just be a dogma of my own creation. But I stick to it. (This is where you, in solidarity, shout, “Leave no episode behind!”) Of course, I have to compromise sometimes, like when networks boneheadedly air episodes out of order, or when I’m watching TV with someone who’s not as obsessive-compulsive devoted to the intended chronology as I am. Anyway, I was thinking today about the series I’ve watched in their entireties—i.e. series for which I’ve seen every episode made available. Here they all are, from the most prolific to the shortest-lived… and even the ones I’m not so proud I watched! The X-Files (205 episodes)...

The Great TV Show Title Jumble

By on Sep 17, 2013 in Inanities | 0 comments

Today in Hypothetical Alternate Realities: What would happen if two totally different shows exchanged words in their titles? Behold. Drag Notice — HR representatives are replaced by drag queens, who then put delinquent employees on notice. “Gurl, you betta werk!” RuPaul’s Burn Race — RuPaul trades her loving “shade” for appallingly cruel barbs (punctuated, of course, by her trademark cackle). Pretty Little Anarchy — Four teenage fashionistas live to regret having overthrown the government of Rosewood. Sons of Liars — Four grown sons of formerly-teenage fashionistas form a motorcycle gang… and dish about small-town secrets over nonfat lattes. The Good Stars — An inventory of all the celebrities in Hollywood who haven’t been arrested for DUI, become a Scientologist, flashed their nether regions, or made anti-Semitic remarks. Dancing with the Wife —...

Prime Cuts: Housewives & Sister Wives

By on Jun 18, 2012 in Journal | 0 comments

…plus impromptu commentary on The Big C, Parks and Recreation, and Mad Men I’ve been blogging for Primetimely for awhile now, and I love it, but I’ll be forthcoming: I’m not always the most regular updater. With a full-time day job to work, dozens of shows to watch, a career in TV writing to which to aspire, a cat to pamper, a roommate with whom to hang out, friends to see, and a fiancé with whom to spend quality time, it’s not always easy to find the time or the energy to dedicate to quality posts! But I think I often wait until I have inspiration for a post, and that means waiting too long. So with this post, I introduce a whole new category of blog update: the stream-of-consciousness-style journal, which I’m (oh-so-adorably) entitling “Prime Cuts.” I’ll try to just ramble and hold forth on the television that I’m watching and hearing about. And in the hope of blogging more often and...

The Prime Times: Shelly the Nymphomaniac Edition

By on Apr 30, 2012 in In Brief | 0 comments

A hot, steaming cup of TV news, ready for you to guzzle: Anderson Cooper has had another one of his famous giggling fits on air, and it’s so unflattering but so adorable. Yes, I call Anderson adorable. Okay? Totes adorbs. Patrick Dempsey channelled his Grey’s Anatomy character’s heroism recently by pulling a Malibu teen from his flipped Mustang, waiting with him until the paramedics arrived, and even calling the teen’s mother to update her on her son’s condition. I’m loving Big Love right now, and I’m especially loving three leading ladies: Jeannie Tripplehorn, Chloë Sevigny, and Ginnifer Goodwin. So it thrills me to no end that Sevigny (who’s name I just had to Google to pronounce) will be a star of the next season of American Horror Story, playing a character named “Shelly the Nymphomaniac” who faces off with Jessica...

The Prime Times: Lawn Mower Meets Foot Edition

By on Sep 27, 2009 in In Brief | 1 comment

I can’t even fit all the news that’s fit to print into one blog post, but here are some of this week’s most interesting tidbits: Some of the shows that premiered this week got impressive ratings. FlashForward scared up 12.41 million viewers. (I realize now that there’s no space in that title. The world’s in crisis and people are blacking out—there’s no time for spaces, folks.) Modern Family welcomed 12.74 million. And The Good Wife attracted 13.72 million watching. I didn’t preview that show, but it seems promising so long as it keeps up the scorned-political-spouse angle and doesn’t become an average law drama. Just to make the wait for Season 3 of Damages (set to start in January) that much more excruciating, Jace at Televisionary tells us that Martin Short and Lily Tomlin have joined the cast. The addition of two comedians to the cast...