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The Great TV Show Title Jumble

By on Sep 17, 2013 in Inanities | 0 comments

Today in Hypothetical Alternate Realities: What would happen if two totally different shows exchanged words in their titles? Behold. Drag Notice — HR representatives are replaced by drag queens, who then put delinquent employees on notice. “Gurl, you betta werk!” RuPaul’s Burn Race — RuPaul trades her loving “shade” for appallingly cruel barbs (punctuated, of course, by her trademark cackle). Pretty Little Anarchy — Four teenage fashionistas live to regret having overthrown the government of Rosewood. Sons of Liars — Four grown sons of formerly-teenage fashionistas form a motorcycle gang… and dish about small-town secrets over nonfat lattes. The Good Stars — An inventory of all the celebrities in Hollywood who haven’t been arrested for DUI, become a Scientologist, flashed their nether regions, or made anti-Semitic remarks. Dancing with the Wife —...

The Prime Times: Next Season’s Guest Stars Edition

By on Jun 25, 2012 in In Brief | 0 comments

This installment of the Prime Times is all about the cool guest stars we’ll all get to see on our favorite shows… in a few months’ time. Sorry for the blue balls, folks. With the seventh-season premiere a torturous three months away, Showtime has released a teaser-trailerfocusing on the fallout from last season’s “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain with a knife” finale. More details are surfacing about the second season of FX’s creepfest American Horror Story. Now we know that Jessica Lange will play a nun and administrator (presumably in the 1960s-era East Coast insane asylum, which was previously announced as the season’s setting). And filling out the cast are Adam Levine and James Cromwell. ER reunion ho! Maura Tierney will recur on the next season of The Good Wife, sharing the screen once again with Julianna Margulies. According to Deadline, Tierney will play “a...

Cancellations, Renewals, and Resurrections

By on May 22, 2012 in In Production | 0 comments

Along with all the hoopla about the broadcast networks’ new shows, upfront season is also the day of reckoning for their existing lineups.  And this month’s renewal and cancellation news has been nothing if not surprising.  Here are my thoughts. The vultures were already circling when Cougar Town returned to ABC in February to even worse ratings than before, but then—huzzah!—TBS announced that it would be rescuing the show.  First Conan, now Cougar?  Dammit, TBS, I could kiss you all over the face right now. And speaking of criminally-underappreciated comedies, FOX’s Raising Hope and NBC’s Community were granted renewals.  And I’m not worried at all that Community is moving to Friday nights—its small, diehard fanbase will move right along with it. Though I only saw one episode of Once Upon a Time once upon a time, I’m so pleased that a non-procedural...

The Prime Times: Shelly the Nymphomaniac Edition

By on Apr 30, 2012 in In Brief | 0 comments

A hot, steaming cup of TV news, ready for you to guzzle: Anderson Cooper has had another one of his famous giggling fits on air, and it’s so unflattering but so adorable. Yes, I call Anderson adorable. Okay? Totes adorbs. Patrick Dempsey channelled his Grey’s Anatomy character’s heroism recently by pulling a Malibu teen from his flipped Mustang, waiting with him until the paramedics arrived, and even calling the teen’s mother to update her on her son’s condition. I’m loving Big Love right now, and I’m especially loving three leading ladies: Jeannie Tripplehorn, Chloë Sevigny, and Ginnifer Goodwin. So it thrills me to no end that Sevigny (who’s name I just had to Google to pronounce) will be a star of the next season of American Horror Story, playing a character named “Shelly the Nymphomaniac” who faces off with Jessica...

Shit My Boyfriend Says

By on Feb 1, 2012 in Inanities | 0 comments

or, A Television-Related Word Association Experiment With the Love of My Life Here’s a list of every current show I watch, and my boyfriend’s instant reaction to each. 30 Rock “Oh, Tina Fey…” (smiles) American Horror Story “Thrills me.” Boardwalk Empire “Costumes…” Breaking Bad “Oh, I don’t know.  I don’t know.  Come back to me with that one.” Burn Notice “Never saw it… oh, but that guy is hot.” Californication “Gah… can’t get into it… but I want to.” Community “Growing on me.” Cougar Town “Stupid.” Covert Affairs “Oh, Piper Peek-a-boo.  That’s what my dad calls her… looks pretty stupid, though.  It looks like a dumbed-down Alias, if Alias could be any dumber.” Curb Your Enthusiasm “I hate...