or, A Television-Related Word Association Experiment With the Love of My Life

Here’s a list of every current show I watch, and my boyfriend’s instant reaction to each.

• 30 Rock “Oh, Tina Fey…” (smiles)
• American Horror Story ”Thrills me.”
• Boardwalk Empire “Costumes…”
• Breaking Bad “Oh, I don’t know.  I don’t know.  Come back to me with that one.”
• Burn Notice “Never saw it… oh, but that guy is hot.”
• Californication “Gah… can’t get into it… but I want to.”
• Community “Growing on me.”
• Cougar Town “Stupid.”
• Covert Affairs “Oh, Piper Peek-a-boo.  That’s what my dad calls her… looks pretty stupid, though.  It looks like a dumbed-down Alias, if Alias could be any dumber.”
• Curb Your Enthusiasm ”I hate Seinfeld.”
• Damages “I don’t know anything about that show.  What is that show?”
• Desperate Housewives ”Ugh… desperate.”
• Dexter “Love it.  Those cat eyes.”
• Fringe “Ugh… it has that guy from Dawson’s Creek.”
• Glee “Oh, I love Lea Michele.  Oh!  Mercedes!  What’s her name in real life?”
• Gossip Girl “Ed. Westwick. Two words.”
• Grey’s Anatomy (gags ) “Menopause.”
• Justified “I wanna watch that.  It has that guy with the French last name that sounds like ‘elephant.’ E-le-phant.  You should use those French accents.”
• Louie “Say that again?”
• Mad Men (sighs) “Upsets me.”
• Modern Family “Oh my god.  I could watch that all day.”
• Nikita “Oh my god… the CW…”
• Once Upon a Time “I love Ginnifer Goodwin.  Godwin.  Goodwin.”
• Parenthood “I adore that show.”
• Parks and Recreation (smiles admiringly and shrugs)
• Private Practice “Ugh… keep it private.”
• Raising Hope “Babies.”
• Revenge “Oh, that’s the girl I’m gonna see soon in ‘Bros and Hos’ [our nickname for Brothers and Sisters].  Living in the Hamptons is so nice.  Except I hate those people.”
• So You Think You Can Dance “The judges really think they can talk”
• The A-List: New York “Not a list I want to be a part of.  Not ‘a list‘.” (laughs)
• The Buried Life “Oh.  That’s like a bucket list for adult people.  Or, or for kids.  I do want to watch that.”
• The Glee Project ”I really hated those kids.  And I did not like the results.”
• The Good Wife “Always hesitant to start, but I love it by the end.  That Kalinda: she can seduce everyone, and she’s really not that hot.  But she’s cunning.  She’s kind of like an animal actually.  Don’t you think so?  She just kinda fills her animalistic needs.”
• The Office “Ugh… never got into it.  I love Steve Carrell.  And I love that British dude who insults everyone.”
• The Sing-Off  “Nick Lachey is a really dumb host.”
• The Voice ”Oh, we were on that.”
• The Walking Dead “I really don’t like anything that has to do with zombies, except for 28 Days Later.”
• True Blood “Oh my god.  ’Sookie.’  That is also one of the first shows to make a gay person of color a main character, and in a really positive way.  People respect him.”
• Top Chef  “My dream career.  That show tantalizes me.  That shows tantalizes my every vittle.” (laughs)  ”What do you want for dinner tonight?”

We all watch television in eager anticipation of those watercooler moments—those moments so shocking, so emotional, so incredibly awesome that we have to a) rewind to watch them about twenty times and b) rehash them to death with all of our fellow watchers. And I honor my picks for those moments here, along with video clips of each moment from YouTube and Hulu (which will hopefully still work in six months). Bear in mind that I did not (and surely could not) see every worthwhile show on television in 2011, and I might be behind on the ones I do watch, so I will most certainly snub deserving moments. Also, I chose not to go Googling to remember these events; if they didn’t come immediately to mind, they must not be momentous enough to merit a place on this list.

WARNING: MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD! You may just want to look at the show names in the parentheses before looking at the description to keep yourself pure. You’ve been warned!

1. Alicia finds out (The Good Wife) that Kalinda slept with her husband Peter, since only she knows that the name of his rumored mistress, Leila, is the name with which Blake would constantly refer to Kalinda.
2. Debra sees Dexter kill (Dexter), and now we’re dying to know now how strong their familial bonds are—will she arrest him, protect him, or aid and abet him?
3. Adele learns she has Alzheimer’s (Grey’s Anatomy) passing through denial, anger, and grief all within the span of a tour de force monologue, thanks to an Emmy-winning performance by Loretta Devine.
4. Zeek lectures Amber (Parenthood) after she gets in a car accident because her friend was drunk, saying, “You do not have my permission to mess with my dreams.”
5. Gus uses the box cutter (Breaking Bad) on his henchman Victor’s neck, wordlessly putting the fear of God (or is that the fear of Gus?) into insubordinate Walt and Jesse.
6. Violet realizes she’s dead (American Horror Story) when she finds her rotting corpse deep in the bowels of the Murder House, and she realizes that her suicide attempt days earlier was successful.
7. The multiverse forgets Peter (Fringe) as if he never existed, and he was only trying to stop the destruction of our universe by the other and vice versa.
8. Debbie shoots Tara (True Blood) with a bullet meant for Sookie, making this season finale the bloodiest and most tragic episode yet.
9. Michael says goodbye (The Office), ending the comedy king’s reign in Scranton on a surprisingly sincere and touching note.
10. Henry dies (Grey’s Anatomy) on Cristina’s operating table, while Henry’s wife Teddy operates in the next room, misled to believe the surgery is a success.
11. Dexter finds the professor’s frozen body (Dexter) and realizes that Travis is the monster himself, not just the lackey—and worse, he’s schizo.
12. The Troubletones sing “Rumour Has It/Someone Like You” (Glee), a mash-up showcasing the emotion-laden vocals of Mercedes and Santana, with some fine choreography to boot.
13. Adam and Kristina fight (Parenthood), which not only displayed superb acting by Peter Krause and Monica Potter but also proved that the relationships developed by this show’s writers are among the most realistic you’re likely to find on TV.
14. Callie sings “The Story” (Grey’s Anatomy)—really just an excuse for Sara Ramirez to sing a showstopping number, and damn if she didn’t sing her heart out.
15. Blake leaves Kalinda with a parting shot (The Good Wife), telling her that he knows that she slept with Peter—and we get a rare glimpse of a vulnerable and scared Kalinda.

• BONUS: “Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait… wait. I worry what you just heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was: ‘Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.’ Do you understand?” – Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation 

   

The start of a new year makes us all reflect on the previous 365 days, but it makes this blogger reminisce not only about the year that was but also the television that was. That’s right: as is tradition this time of year, it’s time for another round of the Primies. Not the most prestigious awards, perhaps, but let’s hope it’s a bit more entertaining (and maybe even more credible) than last night’s People Choice Awards? In any case, here are the characters I appreciated the most in 2011. And I should also take this opportunity to categorically commend the actors who portray these characters, since even the best writing needs the perfect delivery. Finally, let this be a warning to all ye who continue: spoilers abound!

1. Debra Morgan (Dexter) This season saw this profanity-spewing Miami Metro detective was make lieutenant, but the promotion alienated her from her team. Couple that loneliness with her disconnectedness with her brother, and the revelation of what that dependency means, and the revelation of who her brother is; and you get a woman for whom every aspect of life is unraveling. Played by Jennifer Carpenter.
2. Mags Bennett (Justified) The matriarch of the Bennett family was always ready with a glass of her famous “apple pie” on top of the table and a sawed-off shotgun below it. She could have easily been portrayed as a backwoods simpleton, but her cunning and deviousness almost outstripped Raylan’s in the culmination of the Bennett/Givens feud. Played by Margo Martindale.
3. Kristina Braverman (Parenthood) Kristina has a lot on her plate these days: a teenage daughter on the brink of adulthood, a son with Asberger’s, a weeks-old baby, and a husband starting his own business—not to mention a zany bunch of in-laws. And she handles it all with an admirable amount of patience and compassion, but her humanity truly comes through when it all proves too much for her. That realness makes her brand of “parenthood” the most relatable of the show. Played by Monica Potter.
4. Gloria Delgado-Pritchett (Modern Family) Disregarding her sex appeal (reluctantly), Gloria is a pleasure to watch every week because of two reasons: her Colombian accent is ripe for comedy, and her references to her upbringing—e.g. any anecdote starting off with “In my country…”—are reliably funny. Played by Sofia Vergara.
5. Santana Lopez (Glee) Despite the Glee fatigue some of us are feeling, one of the better developments of late is the amount of time Santana is in the spotlight. Once known as the other Cheerio singing back-up for Quinn, this pistol from Lima Heights Adjacent has been showing off her considerable pipes recently, particularly in duets with Mercedes. Played by Naya Rivera.
6. Constance Langdon (American Horror Story) Never mind that the Tinseltown limelight never shone upon her, never mind that she murdered her husband and her maid, and never mind that her children are all resting in peace (or otherwise), Constance is still unflappable—not to mention perfectly coiffed. Played by Jessica Lange.
7. Eli Gold (The Good Wife) A brilliant strategist, Eli’s political savvy and tactics won Peter Florrick the seat of State’s Attorney, but he always seems two poll points away from a nervous breakdown. In fact, he is at his comedic best when he loses his cool. (Talking to the chairman of the Democratic Committee, he sputters, “Where did you go to school, you idiot!”) Played by Alan Cumming.
8. Rubber Man (American Horror Story) Easily the most unnerving (if not totally terrifying) character of the year, the silent, omnipresent Rubber Man haunted, raped, and/or murdered inhabitants of the so-called Murder House—and we won’t even dwell on what he did with the fire poker. Played by Riley Schmidt, Evan Peters, and Dylan McDermott.
9. Lafayette Reynolds (True Blood) Honoring Lafayette on this list is long overdue, since his gaudy style and cutting remarks make him one of my (and so many other Truebies’) favorite characters. But he deserves even more recognition this season for being put through the ringer. Not only was he embodied by not one but two spirits, but his boyfriend and (presumably) his cousin lost their lives. Time will tell how or if he recovers from these blows. Played by Nelsan Ellis.
10. Amber Braverman (Parenthood) Amber has grown up so much since the days of her teenage rebellion, but she still has so much further to go. Her transition into adulthood and her struggles making it on her own are recognizable to me and probably anyone my age. Played by Mae Whitman.
11. Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl) After establishing herself as the Queen Bee of the Upper East Side youth the previous three seasons, Seasons 4 and 5 has shown a softer side of Blair—evidenced in her platonic dependence on Dan. And this Dan appreciates the dimensionality. Played by Leighton Meester.
12. Burt Chance (Raising Hope) Easily amused, never mature, and never quite capable or competent, Burt still transcends poor-white-trash humor and becomes endearing because he’s so good-natured and well-meaning. That said, he’s funniest when his stupidity rears its airy head. Played by Garret Dillahunt.
13. Tom Haverford (Parks and Recreation) Normally, this level of delusional confidence would grow tiresome, but with Tom, it’s always entertaining. His storylines are even funnier when his self-promotion comes this close to paying off before he puts his foot in his mouth or otherwise happens to blow his cover. Played by Aziz Ansari.
14. Dickie Bennett (Justified) Deficient of his mother’s cleverness, Dickie is a bit of an idiot—but a dangerous idiot because of his fast trigger-finger and even faster temper. Still, he had a hickish way with words, and for that I salute him. Played by Jeremy Davies.
15. Henry Burton (Grey’s Anatomy) Effortless charm is not a common personality trait, but Henry has it. And though he was never pessimistic about his health troubles (or anything else for that matter), Henry always struck me as an underdog type, which is why it was so good to see Teddy make him happy. Played by Scott Foley.

Glee creator Ryan Murphy’s announcement that the McKinley kids would be graduating and leaving the show at the end of this upcoming season (stated with a “isn’t-this-totes-obvs?” tone) caused a stir surprising to even Murphy himself. Gleeks are practically worked up into a lather of separation anxiety. And it makes sense: no one is excited about the prospect of Glee devoid of Rachel’s self-aggrandizing, Finn’s lumbering dance moves, Mercedes’s vocal runs, and Brittany’s non sequiturs.

But his rationale is valid. Unless the show abandoned all pretense at realism (and it’s already halfway there with the rock-concert-worthy production values that accompany each performance), it’d be hard to draw out the chronology enough to allow the characters to stay at McKinley for any more seasons.

But Gleeks need not worry. The original stars are fantastic in their own unique ways, and they are collectively responsible for selling us on the show, but the show is not defined by them. Rather, The show is defined by the concept, the tone, the theatricality, and the (overstated) themes. Let’s face it: if the show were to continue without the original kids, Gleeks would still watch and likely enjoy the show. After all, there were only six members of the Glee club in the pilot episode: Rachel, Finn, Mercedes, Kurt, Artie, and Tina. Quinn, Brittany, Santana, Puck, Mike, Sam, and Lauren were all added to the mix later. (Oh, yeah, and that Matt guy… but we barely remember him.)

Murphy’s challenge now will be to make the changing of the guard as seamless as possible. The reason we grew to like additions like Sam, Lauren, and our favorite Cheerios so much was that they weren’t billed as replacements but rather introduced organically and intriguingly. The same needs to happen with the new New Directions. We need to be so taken with them that we forget they’re taking the place of the original crew.

Television history is chock-full with examples of cast replacements done both well and poorly. Only a fraction of the Grey’s Anatomy cast are Season 1 veterans, but the newer doctors are all equally likable. ER was a revolving door of cast members, but the still stayed fairly popular. On the flip side, fans never took to Doggett or Reyes in The X-Files or Rachel and Tom in Alias because those characters weren’t introduced as smoothly and fans could neither forget nor forgive that they were the heirs apparent.

And it’s not like there won’t be holdovers. None of the adults have any particular reason to leave McKinley, so we’ll still have Mr. Schuester and Sue Sylvester, as long as the potential for Emma Pillsbury, Coach Beistie, and maybe Holly Holliday if we’re especially lucky.

Gleeks, I’m optimistic about the changeover. It’s not only necessary but also potentially reinvigorating for the show. Uh, hello, don’t stop believing, okay?

It’s often hard to remember all of the television I watch every year, but some episodes make themselves impossible to forget. The following hours or half-hours of television were exemplary in some way, whether it was for the writing or the direction of the episode; for the way they ended seasons or, in some cases, entire series; for their plots or subplots; for the emotional toll they took on the viewer; for the way they broke the mold and parted with tradition; or sometimes for just one scene or performance in particular.

1. Lost “The End” (Parts 1 & 2)
   … for providing an unexpected, moving, and controversial finale sure to keep fans talking, dissecting, and criticizing for years to come.
2. Grey’s Anatomy “Sanctuary/Death and All His Friends”
   … for the tensest, most emotionally-draining two hours of television this year.
3. Breaking Bad “Half Measures”
   … for the brutal, game-changing last thirty seconds alone.
4. Mad Men “The Suitcase”
   … for the most finely-written “bottle episode” I’ve ever seen.
5. Lost “The Candidate”
   … for being the first television episode to actually elicit tears.
6. 24 “Day 8: 2:00 PM-3:00 PM/Day 8: 3:00 PM-4:00 PM”
   … for finally letting Jack Bauer run off into the sunset (even if he is doing so under duress) after a tender moment with Chloe
7. Fringe “Over There” (Parts 1 & 2)
   … for smashing the two snowglobes—the two universes—together, and in so doing, kick-starting a powerful season to come.
8. The Buried Life “Make a Million Dollars” (Parts 1 & 2)
   … for the guys’ dogged persistence and cheerful optimism in the face of their most challenging task yet.
9. Glee “The Substitute”
   … for Gwyneth Paltrow’s bravura performance as the goofy Holly Holliday.
10. Dollhouse “Epitaph Two”
    … for providing an epic, post-apocalyptic finale, while still being a love letter to the fans jilted by the show’s cancellation.
11. Private Practice “Did You Hear What Happened to Charlotte King”
    … for not dwelling on the rape so much as the physical and psychological aftereffects.
12. Breaking Bad “Full Measure”
    … for ending another stellar season with more narrative propulsion than any other third-season finale
13. Modern Family “Family Portrait”
    … for the scene of Mitchell attacking the pigeon in slow-motion to the sound of Cam’s rendition of “Ave Maria.”
14. Mad Men “Public Relations”
    … for showing the chinks in Don’s well-groomed armor that will lead to his season-long descent.
15. Community “Modern Warfare”
    … for making a paintball game into a riotous send-up of action movies and for letting Jeff and Britta act on—and purge—their romantic tension.
16. The Walking Dead “Wildfire”
    … for the horrific aftermath of the zombie incursion on the camp and for the survivors’ foray into the wilds of downtown Atlanta.
17. So You Think You Can Dance “Meet the Top 11″
    … for the humility of Kent Boyd’s impassioned speech and for the jubilation of the finalists and their family upon hearing the good news.
18. Justified “Blind Spot”
    … for Raylan’s chickens coming home to roost in regards to his relationship with Ava, for his intensifying verbal sparring with Boyd, and for the introduction of the Crowder patriarch, Bo.
19. Damages “The Next One’s Going In Your Throat”
    … for efficiently connecting all the dots laid out in the third season in a devastating and thrilling finale.
20. The Good Wife “Hi”
    … for the triumphant scene in which Daniel and Kalinda cleverly win Peter a retrial.

Honorable mentions: Parks and Recreation “Telethon”; The Good Wife “Running”; Modern Family “Fears”; Glee “Grilled Cheesus”; Cougar Town “When the Time Comes”; Fringe “Entrada”; Top Chef “History Never Repeats”; The Office “Andy’s Play”; Lost “LA X”; Breaking Bad “Sunset”; Justified “Bulletville”; Breaking Bad “One Minute”; Grey’s Anatomy “These Arms of Mine”; Modern Family “Strangers on a Treadmill”; Modern Family “Starry Night”; The Buried Life “Get Married in Vegas”; 30 Rock “When It Rains, It Pours”; Glee “Furt”

In the waning hours of 2010, allow me to kick-start the Second Annual Primie Awards. Below are my favorite fifteen characters from the past year of television, again listed in descending order of awesomeness. (One could only dream of a context that would bring all of them together to share the screen!)

1. Kalinda Sharma (The Good Wife) If mystery is sexy, Kalinda is a bombshell. The tight-lipped private investigator radiates allure and ambiguity while keeping herself impassive and collected… most of the time. And when she let her emotions show, she does so in grand fashion, like taking a baseball bat to her rival’s car before leaving a kiss on the rear-view. She wins cool points even when she loses her cool. Played by Archie Panjabi.
2. Phil Dunphy (Modern Family) There’s not one weak link on this show, but this year, I’m honoring Phil. (Or, as Gloria would say, “Feeeeel.”) He’s so desperate in his attempts to stay hip and cool that it’s embarrassing, but in a weird way, it’s so embarrassing that he actually becomes kinda cool again. Huh. Played by Ty Burrell.
3. Olivia Dunham (Fringe) On our side, Olivia is empathetic, cool, and logical. In the alternate universe, she’s combative, single-minded, and impulsive—oh, and a redhead. When the two Olivias switched universes, each camouflaged herself like the other (by choice or otherwise), and the inherent difficulties and dilemmas were the highlights of the season so far. Played by Anna Torv.
4. Brittany Pierce (Glee) Who would have guessed that Brittany would be the new fan favorite in Season 2? Credit her brilliantly-dumb observations and her insane footwork, both of which were on full display in the episode devoted to her, “Britney/Brittany.” Played by Heather Morris.
5. Raylan Givens (Justified) Not only does this U.S. Marshal have a fun name to say out loud (and it must be said with a Southern accent), but he is also a helluva shot who vacillates between even- and hot-temperedness. It’s like he’ll try to calmly reason with you for five minutes before pulling his sidearm and shooting you between the eyes. Played by Timothy Olyphant.
6. Ellie Torres (Cougar Town) The role of “bitchy best friend” has been overplayed, but Ellie Torres revitalizes the trope with cutting wit and grudging love. As far as the Cul-de-sac Crew is concerned, she’s the cool kid on the block—the one by whom everyone wants to be liked. Hell, we all want Ellie to like us. Played by Christa Moore.
7. Dan Stark (The Good Guys) With all due respect to Josh Lyman, Dan Stark was the role Bradley Whitford was born to play. With a mustache second only to last year’s honoree Ron Swanson, Dan is a washed-up, libidinous joke of a detective who only stumbles into the the answers. But that never hurts his swag. Played by Bradley Whitford.
8. Holly Holliday (Glee) She may have only been on the show for one episode, but that’s all I needed to fall in love with this goofy, impulsive, hip substitute teacher. Between the Cee Lo singing, the Lindsay Lohan opining, and the Mary Todd Lincoln impersonating, Holly brought new levels of fun to the humdrum Lima High. Played by Gwyneth Paltrow.
9. Holly Flax (The Office) Her reappearance this year was fleeting, but she brings new life to the The Office whenever she shows up in Scranton. Whereas Michael’s other leading ladies only tolerated his goofiness, Holly matches it. When the jokes end, though, the reality of their former relationship and ensuing tension shine through. Still, if Michael is truly driving his Sebring into the sunset at the end of this season, I’m hoping Holly is riding shotgun. Played by Amy Ryan.
10. Gustavo Fring (Breaking Bad) Owner of the Los Pollos Hermanos fast-food chain by day, drug kingpin—well—also by day. Not only did he confront and subdue the Mexican cartel, but he also wrangled Walt into producing blue meth in bulk. And his emotionlessness and unflappability only make him even more intimidating. Played by Giancarlo Esposito.
11. Ria Torres (Lie to Me) Some characters don’t need a firearm or a killer right hook to be a badass. Ria will outwit or at least out-glare the guy across the interrogation table until he’s spilling the truth. What she lacks in training she more than makes up for in street smarts, improvisation, and spot-on instincts. Played by Monica Raymund.
12. Sarah Braverman (Parenthood) It’d be difficult to dislike any of the Braverman clan, but Sarah is especially endearing because of her self-deprecating motormouth and social inelegance. (How Gilmorean.) Her lot in life could be pitiable, but she’s a trouper—and good things come to her eventually. Played by Lauren Graham.
13. Zoe Graystone (Caprica) Zoe is a tough character to crack. Basically, the original Zoe died in a terrorist attack, but her soul lived on through her online avatar and was downloaded into a Cylon robot by her father. Boom. Three iterations of the same character, all different yet all variations on a theme. And the remaining Zoes are not particularly happy to live on in their current forms. Played by Alessandra Torresani.
14. Burt Hummel (Glee) To say he’s a supporting character is an understatement. He could not be more protective of his gay son Kurt, even if he’s still trying to find common ground with him. And not only is this journey of his interesting to watch, it serves as a road map for other parents of other Kurts out there. Played by Mike O’Malley.
15. Russell Edgington (True Blood) The millennia-old vampire king of Mississippi was the latest villain on True Blood, but he’s so maniacal, gaudy, and flamboyant that you almost wanted him to overstay his welcome if only for more ridiculousness. Played by Denis O’Hare.

Television news and scoop, right off the grill:

• The next season of Dexter will feature laudable thespians Julia Stiles (Save the Last Dance) and Jonny Lee Miller (Trainspotting, Eli Stone).
• A failed FOX pilot was rescued by A&E: the cable network ordered 13 episodes of Breakout Kings, a drama about an unlikely alliance between U.S. Marshalls and ex-cons.
• Mystery Science Theater 3000, a 90s-era show that lovingly lambasted terrible B-movies with snarky commentary, now has installments available for viewing on Hulu—with movies like Secret Agent Super Dragon, Giant Gila Monster, and Horrors of Spider Island.
• David Strathairn—star of Good Night, and Good Luck and recent Emmy winner for his work on Temple Grandin—has been cast in a new Syfy series called Alphas about crime-fighters imbued with superhuman abilities.
• And Syfy’s new series Three Inches—a show about crime-fighters imbued with slightly-less-super-human abilities—has found its leading man in James Marsters of Buffy and Caprica fame.
• Cable network Oxygen has acquired the syndication rights for Glee and will start airing reruns in 2013. On top of that, the network is also mulling over the idea of a reality-competition show centered around the show.
• Frodo himself—a.k.a. Elijah Wood—will star in an FX comedy series called Wilfred about a man and his (titular) dog, who is “part Labrador retriever and part Russell Crowe on a bender.”
• And in other FX comedy news, Michael Cera (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Arrested Development) and web-series-auteur Derek Waters are developing a series for the network entitled 13th Grade, about a high-school graduate who refuses to mature.
• Anakin Skywalker himself—a.k.a. Hayden Christensen—has sued USA Network, claiming that the idea for their hit show Royal Pains was based on a pitch he and his brother tried to sell to the network.
• Ronald D. Moore, the man half-responsible for re-imagining Battlestar Galactica, is taking his talents to NBC, where he’s developing a drama described as an “adult Harry Potter.”
• And for those of us who are still hungry for more Battlestar Galactica—and not for a reboot movie franchise starring Justin Timberlake—Syfy will produce an online series called Blood & Chrome about Bill Adama and his perils during First Cylon War.
• Brothers & Sisters spoiler alert! Emily VanCamp is leaving the show and will only appear in a few episodes next season. She tells Michael Ausiello that she thinks Rebecca has “run her course” on the show.
• Lie to Me spoiler alert! Mekhi Pfifer is exiting the show for narrative reasons: the story will see the Lightman Group end its relationship with the FBI.
• An HBO pilot called Miraculous Year has lined up some serious star-power. The story focuses on a Broadway composer whose brashness and bad behavior affects both his family and the show he’s trying to put on. The cast includes Norbert Leo Butz (Dirty Rotten Scoundrels on Broadway), Susan Sarandon (Thelma & Louise), Hope Davis (American Splendor), Lee Pace (Pushing Daisies), Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon), Eddie Redmayne (Red on Broadway), and Patti Lupone (Evita on Broadway).
• AMC’s latest pilot is Hell on Wheels, a western revolving around the building of the Transcontinental Railroad, and it stars rapper Common as a half-black, half-white freed slave.
• The updated version of The Rockford Files starring Dermot Mulroney seemed hot this pilot season but then fizzled fast, and now Michael Ausiello reports that Josh Holloway (Sawyer on Lost) is being considered to take over the lead role.
• FOX has decreed that the exciting prehistoric action/drama Terra Nova, produced by Steven Spielberg, will premiere next fall instead of midseason. Patience, friends! (And the other news of note about Terra Nova is that it will film in Australia.)
• But you can see another Spielberg-produced drama earlier. Alien-invasion-themed Falling Skies—starring Noah Wyle (ER) and Moon Bloodgood (Journeyman)—will premiere on TNT next summer, and i09 has a gallery of promotional photos. Post-apocalyptic fun!
• Glee creator Ryan Murphy has announced that he’s developing a musical TV series that will star Kristin Chenoweth, who was nominated for an Emmy for her guest turn last season on the show. But this spin-off will be unrelated to Glee and closer in tone to Murphy’s previous creation, Nip/Tuck.
• And speaking of Glee, television comedy legend Carol Burnett has been cast as Sue Sylvester’s mom.
• And speaking of Sue Sylvester, Jane Lynch will host Saturday Night Live on October 9th.
• Entourage is finally drawing to a close. Next season will be the final bow and will probably consist of six episodes. But a feature film may follow, said HBO programming co-president Michael Lombardo.
• Rumors are circulating that the next season of Top Chef will be an all-star season, especially since previous contestants have been spotted with camera crews in New York City.
• And finally, please enjoy this awesome (and only slightly annoying) musical tribute to brilliant-but-cancelled shows.

For those of you wondering where the latest installment of my Lost re-watch is, don’t fret. I’ve decided to take a two week hiatus after every two seasons just to publish a few other non-Lost stories for the non-Lost fans. (Blog post variety is the spice of life.) And here it is Emmy time again! As I said last year, I’m not predicting the winners here, mind you, but stating for whom I’m rooting. I haven’t seen all of the nominated shows and performances, but from what I have seen, here are my picks for some of the top categories.

Outstanding Drama Series
Lost

I know, this post was supposed to be non-Lost, right? But this show should be commended for providing a powerful and daring end to the Island saga—and one that was incredibly satisfying emotionally (if not mythologically). And as far as cultural touchstones for the decade go, Lost tops this particular list of nominees.

Outstanding Comedy Series
Modern Family

Based on the per-episode number of laughs-out-loud, this show takes the cake. If there were a category for comedic drama (or dramatic comedy, rather), then I’d give that award to Glee.

Outstanding Lead Actor – Drama Series
Matthew Fox (Lost)

His performance in the last hour of Lost alone merits this award, I think. Re-watching the show, I’m struck by how good of an actor he is in all scenarios. If he ever missteps, I certainly never notice.

Outstanding Lead Actress – Drama Series
Julianna Margulies (The Good Wife)

The show itself is a fascinating look into one person’s struggle to forgive and another’s struggle earn forgiveness. And Margulies—playing the former—is the anti-scenery chewer: she’s all internal, and yet we can somehow sense and understand every emotion.

Outstanding Lead Actor – Comedy Series
Matthew Morrison (Glee)

I half-hope Larry David wins, but Morrison’s combination of humor, emotion, singing abilities, dance movies, and—yes—hair gel is entirely far too winning to ignore.

Outstanding Lead Actress – Comedy Series
Amy Poehler (Parks & Recreation)

It’s a crime that the show as a whole wasn’t nominated, but I think a win for the much-deserving Poehler would adequately reward Parks and Recreation‘s second-season reinvention into a show that is equal to (if not superior to) its predecessor, The Office.

Outstanding Supporting Actor – Drama Series
Michael Emerson (Lost)

Again, I gotta stick by my love for Lost on this one. Emerson is an awe-inspiring actor, and somehow he and the writers transformed Ben from the show’s greatest villain to a tragic soul desperate for redemption who actually becomes likable as a person by the end.

Outstanding Supporting Actress – Drama Series
Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men)

I’d be happy if any of the actresses nominated in this category won, but I think Moss showed the most range this past season. Peggy is coming into her own as a near-equal to the agency’s partners, yet Moss still plays her with the perfect amount of dorkiness and vulnerability.

Outstanding Supporting Actor – Comedy Series
Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family)

It’s so hard to choose between the three Modern Family actors nominated, but I think you’d be hard-pressed to find any fan of the show who doesn’t list Cam among his or her favorite characters.

Outstanding Supporting Actress – Comedy Series
Jane Lynch (Glee)

No question. Sue Sylvester is the bitchiest, most fiendish, and most quotable characters to grace the small screen in years. Good on ya, Jane Lynch.

Outstanding Reality Competition Program
The Amazing Race

I know this show has won so many times before, but it’s just so thrilling, amusing, and even educational at times. I mean, who doesn’t want to compete on this show?

]]> http://primetimely.com/2010/08/2010-emmys-my-winners/feed/ 1 http://primetimely.com/2010/04/prime-times-get-your-fill/ http://primetimely.com/2010/04/prime-times-get-your-fill/#comments Sun, 18 Apr 2010 04:26:52 +0000 Dan Clarendon http://primetimely.com/?p=458
Yes, this installment of The Prime Times is chock-full of fortifying TV scoop. Yumm-o!

• Steven Spielberg is in talks with FOX to develop a dinosaur drama! (That sentence begged for an exclamation point.) The project, tentatively titled Terra Nova, would see a family from the future travel to prehistoric times. But obviously, it might be too ambitious a project to produce: think of how hard it’d be to round up all the dinosaur actors in Los Angeles and fly them out to some remote jungle to start filming.
• ABC family renewed Greek for a fourth season, which creator Sean Smith says will be its last, telling Entertainment Weekly, “We’re all looking at this as an opportunity to come back, wrap up the show, and end strong. ABC Family could’ve ended it, but they gave us this opportunity and I don’t want to squander it.”
• A&E is getting back into the drama game with a series called Sugarloaf, in which a framed Chicago detective flees to the titular small town in Florida. The series will star Aussie actor Matt Passmore and Lost‘s Kiele Sanchez.
• True Blood will start its third season on June 13. Meanwhile, HBO is releasing one high-resolution poster every week until the premiere on its super-sleek website, like the one I’ve adapted above!
• How did I not know about the Battlestar Galactica roller coaster at Universal Studios Singapore? It’s actually two coasters in one: you can either ride as a human (in a traditional sit-down coaster with a train themed like a Viper) or as a Cylon (in an inverted coaster with trains themed like rows of Centurions). Either way, you’re going to have some close calls with the other side. Check out the dogfight in this video.
• The creator of the HBO/BBC series Rome—which ran for two critically-acclaimed seasons starting in 2005—wants to bring the epic story to the big screen. The script is done, and Morning Light Productions is signed on to produce. The film will be set in Germany after Caesar’s invasion of Gaul and Augustus’s rise to power.
• New episodes of freshly-resurrected Futurama are coming to Comedy Central in June. And now that the contract disputes have been settled, all the original voice actors will return to their parts.
• Syfy has an adaptation of Little Red Riding Hood in the works called Red, which will star Felicia Day (The Guild, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog) in the lead role. Syfy describes the movie thusly: “In the action-packed Red, Red (Day) brings her fiancé home, where he meets the family and learns about their business—hunting werewolves. He’s skeptical until bitten by a werewolf. When her family insists he must be killed, Red tries saving him.”
• FOX has announced its summer schedule, and for once, it’s not all reruns and reality shows. Sure there are reruns (i.e. Glee) and reality shows (So You Think You Can Dance begins May 27). But shockingly, a scripted series is set to premiere: The Good Guys a not-so-buddy-cop show from Burn Notice creator Matt Nix. It stars Bradley Whitford (The West Wing, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip) and Colin Hanks (Roswell, Mad Men) and debuts on June 7—with a special preview on May 19. The show will be paired up with Lie to Me, which has been patiently waiting to resume its second season for five months now!
• Speaking of Glee, the show returned from its midseason hiatus with a record 13.6 million viewers.
• Speaking of Glee (again), creator Ryan Murphy says that the second season will likely be a hearty helping of 25 episodes.
• Apple honcho Steve Jobs will be the subject of a new series called iCon from Borat auteur Larry Charles. The show will air on premium channel Epix. And yes, this is the first time I’ve heard of Epix, too. But the channel might get some much-needed street cred if its miniseries adaptation of Atlas Shrugged comes to fruition, especially if Charlize Theron is attached like she’s rumored to be.
• Fringe: The Musical? It’s happening, alright. In two short weeks. And it sounds surprisingly promising.
• LeVar Burton tweeted last month that Reading Rainbow is coming back. Hurrah!
• Parks and Recreation star Aziz Ansari will host the MTV Movie Awards on June 6, which I consider to be an bizarre but inspired choice.
• But MTV’s first single-camera comedy is a touch less inspired: The Hard Times of RJ Berger, or, as TV Squad aptly dubbed it Hung, Jr. A nerd goes from uncool to slightly-less-uncool when he’s pantsed and everyone gets a good look at his sizable business. The trailer is full of middling to iffy jokes, with the exception of the moment when one envious teacher says, “It’s a goddamned Buick Regal.” The show premieres on June 6.
• Speaking of TV Squad, one of its bloggers pieced together that Graham Yost, creator of FX’s newest edgy series Justified, cut his teeth two decades ago by writing for Hey Dude, a campy Nickelodeon about teens at a dude ranch. Talk about going from one extreme to the other. (Not that I’m judging—I’ll start my television-writing career anywhere!)
• TV Guide Network will start airing reruns of Curb Your Enthusiasm on June 2, followed immediately by Curb: The Discussion, a roundtable discussion of each episode’s moral dilemmas. Larry David, brainchild and star of Curb Your Enthusiasm, will produce; and Susie Essman (who plays foul-mouthed Susie Greene on show) will host. The first guests ’round the table will include Jerry Seinfeld, Jon Hamm, Taraji B. Henson, Seth Green, and Rob Zombie.
• Starz is developing a series based on the autobiography of New York Times food critic and frequent Top Chef Masters judge Gael Greene (entitled Insatiable: Tales from a Life of Delicious Excess). But she’s old and wizened now, so it’s a little icky imagining her “delicious excess.”
• It seems we’re at the halfway point of Mad Men. While speaking at the National Association of Broadcasters convention, creator Matt Wiener revealed that he only foresees six seasons of the show.
• Lynette Rice of Entertainment Weekly reported that Conan O’Brien could film his new TBS show on his $50-million Tonight Show set. However, she does notes that there might be too much “bad blood” for him to do that, but I hope it happens. That stage is too pretty to lay dormant.
• And, to end this post on a high note, NBC has revealed that it lost $233 million on the 2010 Winter Olympics. (As for silver-or-perhaps-bronze lining, the Games brought them great ratings for the month of February!)

Lordy lordy, do I have a ton of news items to share. Let’s waste no time:

• Most excitingly, William Keck at TV Guide reports that Terry O’Quinn (Lost‘s Locke) is pitching a series in which he and Michael Emerson (Ben) star as “suburban hit men juggling family issues.” My buddy Andy says he might not be able to see these Emmy-winners as anything other than their iconic Lost personas, but I think that we’ll eventually get accustomed to them portraying different characters. Eventually.
• And speaking of shedding past roles, SCI FI Wire tells us that James Callis (Battlestar Galactica‘s Gaius Baltar) has joined the cast of FlashForward and will appear in this season’s last handful of episodes. The fate-defying drama returns March 18 for an uninterrupted run of 13 installments.
• Nip/Tuck‘s series finale airs on Wednesday, which means I really have to make haste to catch up. (I’m not sorry it’s leaving the airwaves, though—I loved it a few seasons ago, it’s past its expiration date now.)
• A Washington middle-schooler was given detention for what, to my mind, was a pretty well-placed utterance of The Office‘s catchphrase “That’s what she said.”
• FOX’s Past Life, a show which looked terrible just from the previews (and also bumped Fringe off the air for a while), has been axed after three episodes. But series lead Kelli Giddish, who was apparently one of the show’s redeeming qualities, was promptly hired for Jerry Bruckheimer’s U.S. Marshall pilot for NBC, Chase. What with a show premiere, a show cancellation, and a new job, it has been a climactic February for her.
• E! Online revealed that Ellie Kemper, a.k.a. new hire Erin on The Office, was a student at a St. Louis High School where her drama teacher was none other than Mad Men‘s Jon Hamm. She said: ”He taught me drama work, mostly improvisation, which I did a lot of in college and in New York. It’s my favorite thing to do.” And he said: “It’s really cool to see [former students] blossom and find their own way in.”
• BuddyTV has a list of five reasons why Heroes should be cancelled, including a pretty damning line graph of the show’s bombing ratings. I agree with most of the reasons, but the last reason is that cancellation is the only way to avoid disappointment. I think it’s too late for that. It’s already disappointing, considering how the show squandered the promise it held during its first season. I’m way behind on the show and unsure whether to even continue. In related news, star Adrian Pasdar was charged with DUI this month.
• Remember when I told you that NBC’s Trauma had been cancelled? It lives! To help fill the void left in the wake of the Jay Leno failure, NBC has resurrected the show. If you’re interested, it returns on March 8.
• Speaking of Leno, he returns to The Tonight Show next Monday, using a renovated version of his set for The Jay Leno Show (and not the impressive Tonight set that Conan used). As strong as my distaste for Leno is, I’ll watch to see his Olympic guests: Lindsey Vonn on Monday, Shaun White on Tuesday, and Apolo Ohno on Wednesday.
• More movie stars are migrating to TV. Matthew Broderick will star in NBC comedy Beach Lane, in which he’ll play an author hired to work for a Hamptons newspaper. (Promisingly, Lorne Michaels is producing.) And Virginia Madsen (Sideways) will lead ABC’s comedic drama Scoundrels, in which she’ll play a mother in a family of crooks who decide to live a life of lawfulness. Based on the New Zealand show Outrageous Fortune, the adaptation was developed a couple of seasons ago under the name Good Behavior with Catherine O’Hara and Kristen Bell attached.
• The fifth season of Friday Night Lights will be its last. But the fourth season hasn’t even aired on NBC yet—only on DirecTV. So Dillon devotees still have two seasons to enjoy before the show bows out.
• Longtime Top Chef judge Gail Simmons—who also works for Food & Wine—will be the host of spin-off Top Chef: Just Desserts.
• NBC’s version of BBC hit Prime Suspect is on hold while the network searches for a suitable star. Considering the original star was Helen Mirren, that’s a tall order.
• Also, director Roland Emmerich says that 2013, his follow-up to blockbuster disaster flick 2012, isn’t likely to make it to air because of budget constraints. Even though the movie was terrible (or so-terrible-it’s-actually-awesome), the series sounded interesting. It would have focused on the efforts to rebuild a human civilization in Africa. I mentioned last post how much I appreciate it when shows film on location, and it would have been awesome for an American series to have been filmed in Africa. (That’s part of the reason why the TV movie 24: Redemption was so effective for me.)
• Speaking of 24 (and boy, do I love smooth segues!), the feature film is apparently back on. Screenwriter Billy Ray—who wrote State of Play and Shattered Glass—will take Jack Bauer to London. But the timing of the production depends on whether or not the TV series gets another season, which FOX has yet to determine.
• To the surprise of just about no one, Charlie Sheen is back in rehab, so you Two and Half Men might be out of luck later this season if CBS runs out of episodes to air.
• PBS and BBC are planning another Sherlock Holmes series with Benedict Cumberbatch (Atonement) as the deerstalker-wearing detective. And, in what I consider inspired casting, Martin Freeman (who had the “Jim” role of Tim in the U.K. version of The Office) will co-star as Watson.
• Happily, First Lady Michelle Obama invited the cast of Glee to perform at the White House for the White House Easter Egg Roll on April 5, and the producers of the show shuffled up the show’s filming schedule to accommodate her request. As Lea Michele belted out during her bravura “Maybe This Time” duet with Kristin Chenoweth, “It’s gonna happen!”
• And finally, to honor the Olympics (or, more specifically, the television coverage of same), here is an amazing photo of Bob Costas atop a stuffed moose with Stephen Colbert looking on.

1. Breaking Bad
2. Mad Men
3. Lost
4. Battlestar Galactica
5. 30 Rock
6. True Blood
7. Modern Family
8. Fringe
9. Glee
10. Dollhouse

Aloha, dear TV junkies.  I may be on vacation, but thanks to some coffeshop wi-fi, I’m still able to update this here blog with cinnamon-bun-sticky fingers.  Surely you didn’t think I’d forgotten about honoring the best small-screen moments of 2009!  Listed below are my favorite episodes across the airwaves from all of last year.  Is the list comprehensive?  Maybe not.  Does the order tend to be arbitrary?  Perhaps.  But still, I believe this to be a pretty good representation of 2009′s highlights.  Writers and directors of the below episodes, I raise my iced-coffee cup to you.

1. Battlestar Galactica “Daybreak, Part 2″  No matter if you loved the end or hated it, the final two hours of this show boldly went where no show has gone before. A catastrophic first hour was followed by a contemplative second. The epic space saga went out with a bang and then a whisper.
2. Mad Men “Shut the Door, Have a Seat”  After an intense season of smoldering interpersonal drama, this episode was one of the most light-hearted and cathartic. In the vaguest terms I can use, Don closed some doors and opened others. He reinvented himself, and the show was reborn anew.
3. Breaking Bad “Phoenix”  Often the penultimate episode of a season is just as climactic as the finale, as proven by Breaking Bad. Without spoiling anything, it was Walter White’s inaction during a gut-wrenching dilemma that made this episode so powerful.
4. Glee “Sectionals”  Between Mercedes’s powerful “And I Am Telling You” rendition, Rachel’s “Don’t Rain on My Parade” showstopper, and the club’s “My Life Would Suck Without You” dedication, the musical numbers in this fall finale were brilliant enough to tide us over until the show’s return in spring.
5. 30 Rock “Apollo, Apollo”  It’s hard to top Jack Donaghy’s excitement-puking and Kenneth’s Muppet-vision, but what made this episode the best of its season was the Polish singles’ line commercial that a young Liz Lemon debased herself by appearing in. Remember, just call 1-800-OKFACE.
6. Dollhouse “Omega”  After the startling return of rogue-doll Alpha at the end of the preceding episode, this episode shows the making (read: programming) of a maniac. The Dollhouse made its bed, and now it might have to die in it!
7. Breaking Bad “Negro y Azul”  Any episode that starts with a mariachi band and ends with an exploding turtle surely deserves a spot high on this list.
8. Lost “Dead is Dead”  It’s Judgment Day for the conniving Benjamin Linus as “the Island” takes him on a painful trip down memory lane. By the end, his relinquishing of power leaves him impotent… and dangerously desperate.
9. Glee “Pilot”  FOX was so excited about this episode, the network aired it four months before the series even started. With the well-crafted song-and-dance numbers, the satirical commentary on the high school food chain, and the hilarious immaturity of the show’s adult characters, I could not stop believing that Glee would be a hit.
10. Grey’s Anatomy “Here’s to Future Days/Now or Never”  This show may be showing its age, but watching the end of this fifth-season finale was tantamount to mainlining adrenaline when the identity of the heroic (and doomed) John Doe was realized.
11. Californication “The Apartment”  A day of reckoning comes for Hank Moody when all the major players in his life coincidentally convene under one roof. In true farce-like fashion, he scrambles to accommodate his girlfriend, his mistresses, his mistress’s husband, his daughter, his best friend, a few random prostitutes, and Rick Springfield, all the while trying to keep his indiscretions under wraps.
12. Modern Family “Pilot”  The premise is simplistic—the daily travails of three families that are “nuclear” for the new millennium—but the writing and acting is refined. Oh, and the show happens to be hilarious. With this episode alone, this show skyrocketed to the elite of half-hour comedies.
13. So You Think You Can Dance “Top 20 Showcase”  This was an episode without missteps—just the top twenty competitors dancing in their own genres, resulting in routines that were almost unmatched by the rest of the season. (Almost.) What was otherwise a filler episode turned into the best hour of the season.
14. Fringe “There’s More Than One of Everything”  John Noble’s most impressive acting came when his character revisited the memories of a beach house with his son. And the alternate-reality story thread tangles as Olivia finds herself in the most improbable of locations in the ballsy cliffhanger.
15. Lost “The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham”  At last, we discover how He Who Shall Be Named Jeremy Bentham died. Frustrated by his failure to get the gang back together and feeling spurned by destiny, he decides to take his own life. But his real cause of death, which we find out minutes later, is even darker.
16. Parks and Recreation “Beauty Pageant”  One of the first episodes of the season, this installment solidified Parks and Recreation’s status as suddenly brilliant. Example Leslie Knope line: “This [mural] depicts a famous fight between Reverend Bradley and Anna Beth Stevenson, widowed mother of seven. The original title of this was ‘A Lively Fisting.’ But, you know, they had to change it… for obvious reasons.”
17. Damages “Trust Me”  Flash-forwards as a narrative technique are a hot ticket right now, but Damages uses them in a brilliantly manipulative way, revealing a little more of certain scenes in each episode. And in “Trust Me,” all the cards are laid out in this punch-out ending to a gripping season.
18. True Blood “I Will Rise Up”  It started with an act of terrorism perpetrated by humans and ended with an act of tenderness by a human—Sookie Stackhouse—surprising the millennia-old Godric, who had seen the worst of our race’s behavior in his lifetime. Plus, this episode featured another dialogue gem from Lafayette: “I don’t know what you is, but I’m feelin’ you, and you a soulless bitch.”
19. Top Chef “Finale, Part 1″  No matter what you thought of this season’s winner (or even the order of the runners-up), all Top Chef viewers could agree that Keven, Jennifer, and the Voltaggios were the four best contenstants. And to see them duke it out in Napa Valley (aboard a moving train, no less) was a treat.
20. Lie to Me “The Core of It”  Like Parks and Recreation, this procedural drama also came back from its hiatus creatively reinvigorated. In this episode, Cal Lightman and his group have to contend with a murder witness with multiple personalities. Not only do they have to figure out which of her multiple personalities saw the crime, but they also have to find a way to trigger that personality. Guest star Erika Christiansen is scary-good as Sophie/Trisha/Jessie/RJ.

Because it’s the end of the year (and of the decade), every TV critic is releasing best-of lists. And I am no exception, though small-potatoes I may be. Ergo I announce the First Annual Primie Awards! And the first category honors the 15 characters whom I appreciate most, in descending order of awesomeness. Frankly, the shows below would just be suckier without them!

1. Sue Sylvester (Glee) When Sue swaggers onscreen in one of her splashy tracksuits, you know that she’s say something both wildly inappropriate and gut-bustingly funny. The malicious comments she deploys in her jihad against McKinley High’s glee club almost makes you root for her. Played by Jane Lynch.
2. Ron Swanson (Parks and Recreation) The reluctant supervisor of Pawnee’s parks department had a breakout season that had him facing off with his domineering ex, presiding over the breakfast buffet at a strip club, enjoying a shoe-shining a bit too much, and having his scalp leaded with buckshot. Played by Nick Offerman.
3. Walter Bishop (Fringe) Last season, we saw the charming kookiness behind Walter’s mad-scientist-ness.  Now we’re seeing the vulnerability behind that charming kookiness. What layer will be unearthed next? Played by John Noble.
4. Starbuck (Battlestar Galactica) Love her or hate her, you have to acknowledge that Starbuck’s so-called destiny directly influenced the fate of humankind… in a way that’s very open to interpretation. Played by Katee Sackhoff.
5. Manny Delgado (Modern Family) One of the youngest and yet most mature members of the Pritchett clan, Manny is wise beyond his years—and quite the fencer, too. Played by Rico Rodriguez.
6. Benjamin Linus (Lost) In a show that specializes in shades of gray, it’s no surprise that Ben isn’t relentlessly villainous. We’ve seen glimpses of his humanity. But just before we start to like him, he does something like staging a character’s suicide—and we’re reminded of how much we hate him (and love to hate him). Played by Michael Emerson.
7. Arizona Robbins (Grey’s Anatomy) She’s often viewed as the happy-go-lucky pediatrics doc, but between her anguish over little Wallace and her blurting out “I love you” to Callie in the episode “Invest in Love,” she won me over. Played by Jessica Capshaw.
8. Troy/Abed (Community) Some of the funniest moments of Community came in the final minute of each episode when the credits were rolling—an end tag that became the Troy and Abed Show after the hilarious Spanish 101 rap (a.k.a. “La Biblioteca”). Community has been uneven so far, but Troy and Abed represent reliable comedy. Comedy you can believe in! Played by Danny Pudi and Donald Glover, respectively.
9. Saul Tigh (Battlestar Galactica) For reasons too spoilery to reveal here, ole One Eye Tigh had some of the most tumultuous internal conflict in Battlestar’s final season. Let’s just say that he found himself intimately associated with those who were once his enemies. Played by Michael Hogan.
10. Jenna Maroney (30 Rock) Ditzy fame-whore Jenna is everything that Liz Lemon isn’t, but just as much of a dysfunctional human. Her constant oversharing gives us mere glimpses into her bizarre life. (For example: “The reason I speak with a slight English inflection in my voice is because I lost my virginity to the My Fair Lady soundtrack.”) Played by Jane Krakowski.
11. Lester Patel (Chuck) Lester went from neurotic tech nerd to neurotic tech nerd and rock star with the debut of cover band Jeffster, performing awesomely bad versions of 80s classics like “Africa” and “Mr. Roboto.” True, Lester is only one half of Jeffster, but his bandmate Jeff is just too out-there for this list! Played by Vik Sahay.
12. Victor (Dollhouse) Besides a few face slashes here or there, Victor is the doll with the most fun: his “imprints” involve bedding boss Adelle DeWitt, acting like an exact clone of tech-whiz Topher, or channeling his inner sorority girl. And hey, those cuts healed remarkably fast, didn’t they? Played by Enver Gjokaj.
13. Hoyt Fortenberry (True Blood) As one of the only truly good residents of Bon Temps, Hoyt became more than just a background player this season when he fell in love with newly-vampirized Jessica, much to the dismay of his oppressively devout mother. His evolution from (momma’s) boy to man was great to see. Played by Jim Parrack.
14. Walter White, Jr. (Breaking Bad) His relationship with his emotionally-elusive dad is tenuous, but Junior still went to incredible (and touching) lengths last season to raise money for Senior’s cancer care. Played by R.J. Mitte.
15. Anna (V) Leader of the Visitors, Anna is alternately calculating, eloquent, manipulative, and alluring. A wolf in sheep’s (well-tailored) clothing. Played by Morena Baccarin.

Note: The following post first appeared as an article by the same name in The Climax, Hampshire College’s newspaper. Also, some of these micro-reviews may exceed 140 characters—my bad!

I am a student of television. Writing television scripts is my Division III [a senior project, in Hampshire speak]. So I have no shame in the fact that I watch all of the shows below religiously. I study the craft, folks. That’s a lie—I am ashamed of some of them, but I’m feeling forthright in my fourth-year-ness. Anyway, I only assumed that I couldn’t review all my shows for The Climax before I graduate. And then it occurred to me: I could review each in 140 characters or less. (Arbitrary number, I swear.)

• 24 Some seasons fire on all cylinders, and some make you want to shoot yourself in the kneecap. But I’m still a fan of the Bauer Power Hour.
• 30 Rock Is Tina Fey God? Even if not, this show is in my pantheon. 22 Emmy nominations this year alone. What the what?
• The Amazing Race A competition show and a geography lesson all in one. Plus the race just looks like such a globetrotting thrill.
• Breaking Bad Brilliance you’ve likely never seen. Bryan Cranston (as a reluctant meth dealer) and Aaron Paul (as his witless lackey) are a wondrous team.
• Brothers & Sisters Created by playwright Jon Robin Baitz, powerful character drama pervades this series about the virtues and frustrations of family life.
• Burn Notice Ex-spy Michael Westen is a MacGyver for the new century. Plus he narrates his creative process! Plus Bruce Campbell plays the sidekick!
• Californication Man-child Hank Moody is David Duchovny’s (comedic) role of a lifetime. And the show featured Hampshire band Bubonic Souls last week.
• Chuck Put a self-described nerd in a world of government conspiracies and sexy secret agents, and hilarity ensues. Such a lovable show.
• Community A comedy about a community college study group that’s not quite up to snuff but getting better each week.
• Curb Your Enthusiasm Schadenfreude at a fever pitch. Larry David is such an incorrigible ass, but you can’t help siding with him in all of his curmudgeonliness.
• Damages Vicious legal thriller with Glenn Close and Rose Byrne. Season 2′s powerhouse cast included William Hurt, Marcia Gay Harden, and Ted Danson.
• Desperate Housewives What do I have in common with middle-aged, lovelorn women? Uh, not much. But this show is still a fun look at the seediness of the suburbs.
• Dollhouse Engineered personalities, ethical perversions, and intense action make this (cancelled) show radically different. Well done, Joss Whedon.
• Entourage Not the sharpest tool in the shed, but still a comical insight into the biz and a testament to lifelong friendship. (“Lloyd!”)
• FlashForward An ambitious fate-vs.-free-will drama with a laudable cast. But can its premise sustain it for more than this season?
• Flashpoint This Canadian import, about a hostage negotiation team in Toronto, is edge-of-your-seat tense. Plus Veronica Mars’s dad is the lead!
• Fringe Like The X-Files, only with a more mind-warping mythology and the addition of one raving-mad, madly-funny scientist. Freaky good times had by all.
• Glee This high-school satire is so much fun, thanks to a stellar cast, its show-stopping covers of pop songs, and the incomparable Jane Lynch.
• The Good Wife What makes this legal drama intriguing is that the protagonist—played by Julianna Margulies—is the jilted wife of an adulterous politician.
• Gossip Girl Used to be a salacious indulgence. But they had to match everyone up in an endless cycle of hook-ups and break-ups. What a mess.
• Greek If Gossip Girl had a sharper, wittier, more accessible, yet less popular twin sister, her name would be Greek.
• Grey’s Anatomy Melodramatic, yes, but the relationship drama is sophisticated and smartly executed. But its hard to watch if you’re single, dammit!
• Heroes Holy Hiro, what the hell happened to this show? This once-great serial has suffered bloated storylines and botched mythology. Shut it down.
• Lost The most revolutionary show on this list, nay, of the decade. Season 5 was a creative resurgence that was so awesomely challenging to watch.
• Lie to Me An unconventional procedural drama that’s proven to be surprisingly un-formulaic. And Tim Roth doesn’t even have to use an American accent!
• Mad Men If you’re not in love with this elegant, introspective, and smoldering drama, you just haven’t seen enough of it.
• Men of a Certain Age Three old friends have midlife revelations. This show just started, but I like what I’ve seen. It’s like Garden State—plus twenty years.
• Modern Family Funniest new show of the season. Believe it.
• Nip/Tuck Not as deeply cutting as it was in its youth, but now it’s superficially fun and bat-shit crazy. Can’t complain too much.
• The Office Just when I think it has lost its mojo, it pulls a “Koi Pond” episode or “Subtle Sexuality” webisode to remind us all of its wit.
• Parks and Recreation Started off as an Office clone but came back roaring in its second season. Now it rivals its predecessor for laughs.
• Private Practice A spectacular cast and interesting storylines, but I still wish Addison would go back to Seattle Grace. Maybe everyone can go along!
• Project Runway I’m probably not the right demographic for this catty show, but who cares. I just hope Tim Gunn would approve of my wardrobe.
• Smallville Never “super” but never terrible, Smallville is reliable entertainment even after eight years. One of the only good things the CW can offer.
• So You Think You Can Dance The most legit and diverse dance competition. The talent gets more absurd each season. YouTube “Ellenore & Jakob – Contemporary” for proof.
• Top Chef In a world of hamburger reality shows, Top Chef is a filet mignon with escargot, grilled ramps, chanterelle mushrooms and yuzu—i.e. refined.
• Top Chef Masters The nation’s top chefs compete. Of course it’s good.
• True Blood I reviewed this show already this semester! Suffice it to say, it’s addictive.
• Ugly Betty In this refreshing comedic drama, Betty maintains a beautiful can-do spirit as she navigates the (hilariously) bitchy world of fashion.
• V This series about tensions between humans and alien “Visitors” is off to a promising start, but lamely, we only get four episodes this year.
• Warehouse 13 Undecided about this show. I dig the whole “America’s attic” notion and the leads’ chemistry, but some of the episodes have been, uh, hokey.

Here’s this week’s batch of freshly-baked television news:

• Two big names will “sho” up on Showtime: Laura Linney will star in The C Word, a half-hour comedy series about a woman who turns her life around following a cancer diagnosis; and William H. Macy will star in Shameless, a comedic drama about a drink-swilling father of six (based on a BBC hit).
• In a classless move by NBC, the Glee cast is no longer invited to perform at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Jumpsuits will surely be worn at the festivities, but apparently none by Sue Sylvester.
• No sooner did I finish singing the praises of Kater Gordon, the Mad Men writer who went from writing assistant to Emmy winner in no time, than she was let go from the show’s writing staff. As they say in fashion…
• Lest you thought your eyes deceived you, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane did appear as an FBI agent in the premiere of FlashForward. And apparently, he’ll be back on occasion. I only hope I get to guest-star on shows when I’m a successful TV writer!
• NBC has ordered its upcoming post-apocalyptic show Day One to be converted from a 13-episode season to a two-night, four-hour miniseries. And the prospect of further seasons depends on the ratings. This may sound like bad news, but as i09 points out, that formula worked for Battlestar Galactica. And creator Jesse Alexander (Heroes) is pumped, saying, “Airing four hours over two nights is much more exciting to me than rolling out just one hour per week… I didn’t want to suffer the same fate as many first year shows and be moved to another time slot mid story, or worse, not be able to air the final episodes.”
• Though CBS wasn’t too enthusiastic about the negotiator-drama Flashpoint around the time of the TCA Press Tour, the network has decided to bring the Canadian co-production to American screens for another 13-episode run later this season.
• In more good news, some of the season’s most promising shows, Glee, FlashForward, and Modern Family have all earned full-season pick-ups from their respective networks.
• Lauren Graham (of Gilmore Girls fame) has won the role vacated by Maura Tierney on NBC’s upcoming Parenthood, filling the role that Helen Hunt was considering.
• Linda Holmes of NPR’s Monkey See blog has an insightful post about how NBC’s decision to give up the 10 PM slot for The Jay Leno Show represents the network’s exasperation with all things dramatic.
• Michael Ausiello reports that the third season of Chuck may premiere within a matter of weeks instead of next March. He also says that NBC insiders are calling it the best season yet. (And I’ve just realized that half this post has been about NBC!)
• And finally, a Massachusetts farmer is so enamored with Family Guy, he created a corn maze incorporating Stewie and Brian, pictured here. I hope he does something related to NBC next. Perhaps the letters NBC.

I can’t even fit all the news that’s fit to print into one blog post, but here are some of this week’s most interesting tidbits:

• Some of the shows that premiered this week got impressive ratings. FlashForward scared up 12.41 million viewers. (I realize now that there’s no space in that title. The world’s in crisis and people are blacking out—there’s no time for spaces, folks.) Modern Family welcomed 12.74 million. And The Good Wife attracted 13.72 million watching. I didn’t preview that show, but it seems promising so long as it keeps up the scorned-political-spouse angle and doesn’t become an average law drama.
• Just to make the wait for Season 3 of Damages (set to start in January) that much more excruciating, Jace at Televisionary tells us that Martin Short and Lily Tomlin have joined the cast. The addition of two comedians to the cast might seem peculiar, but let’s not forget what a villain Ted Danson’s Arthur Frobisher is/was on that show.
• In other casting news, Helen Hunt is “in talks” to replace Maura Tierney in Parenthood, NBC’s drama based on the Steve Martin movie. Tierney unfortunately had to give up the part to focus on health concerns. (But it’s good to hear from Helen Hunt again, eh?) And elsewhere, Oscar darling Sissy Spacek will join Big Love for a multi-episode arc next season.
• For those of you like my friend who are dying for the character of William Bell (and the actor who portrays him) to return to Fringe, the TV Addict reports that we’ll be seeing him again on October 8.
• Speaking of Fringe, the title for this week’s episode, “Night of Desirable Objects,” sounds less like a type of fishing lure and more like a back-room VHS tape. Hey-o!
• Most of the music from Glee is available on iTunes, and the tracks for each episode are actually posted before the episode airs. My roommates and I are conspiring to start our own Milli-Vanilli-fake glee club here at college, lip-synching to the tracks and then claiming it’s just a coincidence when the same songs are broadcast each Wednesday night. (“Hey, great minds think alike! Good for them!”)
• Speaking of Glee, this week’s episode was perhaps the best yet—both hilarious and heartwarming. The sight of guys in sequined unitards dancing to Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)” could be disturbing. (I’m talking about you, Joe Jonas.) But in this case, it was pretty uproarious, especially when a whole football team gets involved.
• Frustrated that you can’t join in the Mad Men talk around the watercooler? AMC is here to save the day. Pour yourself a little afternoon whiskey and watch a five-minute clip of “The Story So Far.”
• Speaking of Mad Men, the latest episode had perhaps the most climactic and horrific moment of the series and perhaps the watercooler moment of the week. Gird your stomach and check it out. Of course, the Sterling Cooper workers leave no incident uncommented-on, and they had plenty of wordplay fun at the poor sap’s expense.
• The CW’s model drama The Beautiful Life has met its not-so-beautiful death, becoming the first casualty of the season after only two episodes on the air.
• Speaking of cancellations, A&E has nixed The Cleaner after two seasons. That came as a bit of a surprise, but I guess its ratings must not have been so hot. I hope A&E gets back into the drama game soon.
• If CSI: Miami had any credibility left, it lost it when it used a picture of Tampa in its promotional material. (Hey there, Tampa! Looking good, gal.)
• Conan O’Brien hit his head on the set of The Tonight Show yesterday and had to be taken to the hospital. As a fellow giant, I can sympathize with the occasional noggin bump. But O’Brien, the consummate comedian, had a joke at the ready: “Last thing I remember I was enjoying the play with Mrs. Lincoln, and the next thing I knew I was in bed being served cookies and juice.”
• And finally, break out the Dharma cake: this week marked the five-year anniversary of Lost‘s series premiere. How time flies. (Hint: not on Oceanic 815. Ba-da-boom!)

2009-2010 New Series Preview, Part 2

Statistically, only a third of all new shows avoid cancellation during their first seasons. I have no doubt in my mind that Glee will be among them this year. It’s riding the wave of popularity for all things song-and-dance, and yet it’s edgier, funnier, and so much more fulfilling—for my money, at least—than That Which Shall Not Be Named.

Glee follows a teacher who, unsatisfied by his stagnant life, rekindles his dream of taking McKinley High’s glee club to fame and glory. He finds club members in some of the school’s most derided outcasts: a showbiz-obsessed goody-goody, a paraplegic nerd, a stuttering goth, a flamboyant fashionisto, and a Jennifer Hudson wannabe. And to bolster the social standing of the group, he also recruits a quarterback, one who actually starts to enjoy the club.

In addition to the talent and humor of the student characters, the supporting roles are quite good, too. The ever-likable Jayma Mays plays a sweet guidance counselor, and Jane Lynch seems to have been born for her role as an acerbic cheerleading coach. (Here’s an example of her cutting remarks: “Our school is starting a glee club. Oh sure, these kids are nerds, misfits, tools… crusty, little cross-eyed nerdlets… I forget where I was going with this. I guess I’m done.”)

Last summer, FOX made a very smart move. (And how often can we say that?) It treated us to the pilot episode of Glee months in advance of the fall season to pump up hype. Plus, they aired it after ratings-juggernaut American Idol. And since then, the network has been running ads like crazy. Luckily, they’ve had some great critical blurbs to tout: “It is so good” from TVGuide.com; “The best thing you’re going to see on TV this year,” from the Los Angeles Times; “I am officially obsessed,” from Entertainment Weekly.

The praise is certainly not faint, and I can hardly disagree. Creator Ryan Murphy, who explored the superficiality of beauty on Nip/Tuck, is now plundering the social caste system of high school. The characters are exaggerated to the point of stereotypes, but Murphy does this intentionally and originally—much like previous high-school satires like Mean Girls and Election. (In fact, the character of Rachel Berry owes a lot to Tracy Flick in her unabashed, perky ambition for stardom.) But despite the snarkiness and edgy humor, the essence of the show is wholesome and winning. Because, at its core, Glee is an ode to the underdog.

As good as the writing and acting are, however, the music often steals the show—and there’s a lot of music to love. The pilot offered two deft covers—one of Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab” and one of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’”—both of which have become hits on iTunes. Entertainment Weekly reports that a staggering 70 songs have been recorded for the first 13 episodes. Unsurprisingly, the first two soundtrack albums are already in the works.

There is so much to look forward to for this show, and luckily, we only have weeks to wait.