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TVs improbable seventh-inning stretches

By on Oct 13, 2012 in Raves | 0 comments

Seven seasons is an awfully long run for any TV drama, particularly a serialized one. Procedural shows like CSI and Law & Order shows have the privilege of a different storyline every episode, and even semi-procedural shows like Fringe aren’t required to serve an overarching narrative with every episode. The TV graveyard is littered with the corpses of series that exhausted their creativity before their episode order. One recent example of such a show on the comedy front is The Office: the producers and NBC announced that Season 9 would be the final season, but that decision came after we slogged through disappointing Seasons 6, 7, and 8. Some showrunners do the dignified thing and set a definite and unyielding end date for their series, like the masterminds behind Lost, Battlestar Galactica, Breaking Bad, and even the British Office. I can’t speak highly enough of this practice:...

Ratings Revelations and Ridiculousness

By on Jun 5, 2012 in Tinseltown | 0 comments

As reported by TV.com, Nielsen has released a list of all the shows on broadcast networks this past season, ranked by average number of viewers in the 18-to-49-year-old demographic… and the list is surprising on many counts. I’ve transposed the complete list below, but in case you want the abridged version (you impatient ingrates!), I readily relinquish my reflections and ruminations on the ratings ranking. The most-watched scripted show is Modern Family (ABC, #4), and that fact makes me damn proud of America. Good on you, viewers! CBS sitcoms continue to dominate, especially The Big Bang Theory (#6), Two and a Half Men (#7), and 2 Broke Girls (#9). And, against all rational thought, Rules of Engagement (#35) is still surprisingly popular. I mean, I don’t know anyone who watches it, but… Grey’s Anatomy (#10) is doing remarkably well for a show entering its...

The Prime Times: Shelly the Nymphomaniac Edition

By on Apr 30, 2012 in In Brief | 0 comments

A hot, steaming cup of TV news, ready for you to guzzle: Anderson Cooper has had another one of his famous giggling fits on air, and it’s so unflattering but so adorable. Yes, I call Anderson adorable. Okay? Totes adorbs. Patrick Dempsey channelled his Grey’s Anatomy character’s heroism recently by pulling a Malibu teen from his flipped Mustang, waiting with him until the paramedics arrived, and even calling the teen’s mother to update her on her son’s condition. I’m loving Big Love right now, and I’m especially loving three leading ladies: Jeannie Tripplehorn, Chloë Sevigny, and Ginnifer Goodwin. So it thrills me to no end that Sevigny (who’s name I just had to Google to pronounce) will be a star of the next season of American Horror Story, playing a character named “Shelly the Nymphomaniac” who faces off with Jessica...

The Blog Post Where Plot Twists Go to Die

By on Mar 21, 2012 in Inanities | 0 comments

Or, Everything That’s Ever Been Spoiled For Me Try as hard as I might, there’s no escaping spoilers in my role as (amateur) TV critic. As I’ve said before, I’m incapable keeping up with all the worthwhile, buzz-worthy, quality TV on the air today. And while most blogs and publications are good about preceding spoilers with warnings and burying plot reveals in the body of an article instead of leading with them, others are not so conscientious. And even with the diligent outlets, there is a statute of limitations with spoilers—at a certain point, after an arbitrary amount of time has passed, it has to be allowable to rehash and discuss major plot points without recrimination. So I don’t always blame the spoil-er for the spoiling; I just regret that it happened (unless I just don’t care). At the risk of paying the sin forward, here are all the twists...

Shit My Boyfriend Says

By on Feb 1, 2012 in Inanities | 0 comments

or, A Television-Related Word Association Experiment With the Love of My Life Here’s a list of every current show I watch, and my boyfriend’s instant reaction to each. 30 Rock “Oh, Tina Fey…” (smiles) American Horror Story “Thrills me.” Boardwalk Empire “Costumes…” Breaking Bad “Oh, I don’t know.  I don’t know.  Come back to me with that one.” Burn Notice “Never saw it… oh, but that guy is hot.” Californication “Gah… can’t get into it… but I want to.” Community “Growing on me.” Cougar Town “Stupid.” Covert Affairs “Oh, Piper Peek-a-boo.  That’s what my dad calls her… looks pretty stupid, though.  It looks like a dumbed-down Alias, if Alias could be any dumber.” Curb Your Enthusiasm “I hate...