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Completist destiny: Shows I’ve watched beginning to end

By on Jul 3, 2014 in Inner Monologues | 0 comments

Completist Destiny, as defined by Wikipedia, is the belief that a television addict such as myself is destined—nay, divinely ordained—to watch a series completely and completely chronologically. Fine, I admit: that might just be a dogma of my own creation. But I stick to it. (This is where you, in solidarity, shout, “Leave no episode behind!”) Of course, I have to compromise sometimes, like when networks boneheadedly air episodes out of order, or when I’m watching TV with someone who’s not as obsessive-compulsive devoted to the intended chronology as I am. Anyway, I was thinking today about the series I’ve watched in their entireties—i.e. series for which I’ve seen every episode made available. Here they all are, from the most prolific to the shortest-lived… and even the ones I’m not so proud I watched! The X-Files (205 episodes)...

Shit My Boyfriend Says

By on Feb 1, 2012 in Inanities | 0 comments

or, A Television-Related Word Association Experiment With the Love of My Life Here’s a list of every current show I watch, and my boyfriend’s instant reaction to each. 30 Rock “Oh, Tina Fey…” (smiles) American Horror Story “Thrills me.” Boardwalk Empire “Costumes…” Breaking Bad “Oh, I don’t know.  I don’t know.  Come back to me with that one.” Burn Notice “Never saw it… oh, but that guy is hot.” Californication “Gah… can’t get into it… but I want to.” Community “Growing on me.” Cougar Town “Stupid.” Covert Affairs “Oh, Piper Peek-a-boo.  That’s what my dad calls her… looks pretty stupid, though.  It looks like a dumbed-down Alias, if Alias could be any dumber.” Curb Your Enthusiasm “I hate...

2011 Pilot Watch

By on Mar 1, 2011 in Tinseltown | 0 comments

The start of the current television season doesn’t feel too long ago, but already, the broadcast networks are putting together their fall slates and ordering pilot episodes of potential new series. After the scouring the intel rounded up by The Futon Critic, here are my thoughts on the lineup. The paranormal and supernatural continue to capture the imaginations of network execs: they’ve greenlit pilots about superpowers (FOX’s Touch, CBS’s The Rememberer), magic (NBC’s 17th Pricinct), angels (CBS’s untitled Susannah Grant project, The CW’s Heavenly), zombies (The CW’s Awakening), witches (The CW’s Secret Circle), fairy tales (ABC’s Once Upon a Time, NBC’s Grimm), haunted houses (FOX’s Locke & Key), alternate universes (NBC’s REM), and forces of good and evil (ABC’s Hallelujah). Remakes are...

2010 Primies: Best Episodes

By on Jan 23, 2011 in The Primies | 0 comments

It’s often hard to remember all of the television I watch every year, but some episodes make themselves impossible to forget. The following hours or half-hours of television were exemplary in some way, whether it was for the writing or the direction of the episode; for the way they ended seasons or, in some cases, entire series; for their plots or subplots; for the emotional toll they took on the viewer; for the way they broke the mold and parted with tradition; or sometimes for just one scene or performance in particular. Lost “The End” (Parts 1 & 2) … for providing an unexpected, moving, and controversial finale sure to keep fans talking, dissecting, and criticizing for years to come. Grey’s Anatomy “Sanctuary/Death and All His Friends” … for the tensest, most emotionally-draining two hours of television this year. Breaking Bad...

41 Shows Reviewed in 140 Characters or Less

By on Dec 23, 2009 in Inanities | 1 comment

Note: The following post first appeared as an article by the same name in The Climax, Hampshire College’s newspaper. Also, some of these micro-reviews may exceed 140 characters—my bad! I am a student of television. Writing television scripts is my Division III [a senior project, in Hampshire speak]. So I have no shame in the fact that I watch all of the shows below religiously. I study the craft, folks. That’s a lie—I am ashamed of some of them, but I’m feeling forthright in my fourth-year-ness. Anyway, I only assumed that I couldn’t review all my shows for The Climax before I graduate. And then it occurred to me: I could review each in 140 characters or less. (Arbitrary number, I swear.) 24 Some seasons fire on all cylinders, and some make you want to shoot yourself in the kneecap. But I’m still a fan of the Bauer Power Hour. 30 Rock Is Tina Fey God? Even if not, this show is in...