FacebookTwitter

The Great TV Show Title Jumble

By on Sep 17, 2013 in Inanities | 0 comments

Today in Hypothetical Alternate Realities: What would happen if two totally different shows exchanged words in their titles? Behold. Drag Notice — HR representatives are replaced by drag queens, who then put delinquent employees on notice. “Gurl, you betta werk!” RuPaul’s Burn Race — RuPaul trades her loving “shade” for appallingly cruel barbs (punctuated, of course, by her trademark cackle). Pretty Little Anarchy — Four teenage fashionistas live to regret having overthrown the government of Rosewood. Sons of Liars — Four grown sons of formerly-teenage fashionistas form a motorcycle gang… and dish about small-town secrets over nonfat lattes. The Good Stars — An inventory of all the celebrities in Hollywood who haven’t been arrested for DUI, become a Scientologist, flashed their nether regions, or made anti-Semitic remarks. Dancing with the Wife —...

2012 Primies: Best shows

By on Jan 28, 2013 in The Primies | 0 comments

As always, there’s too much good TV to watch, let alone wedge into a top-ten list. So for this, the revered yearly pantheon of television shows selected by America’s most cherished TV critic — ha! — I’m also noting a few honorable mentions, as well as recognizing the shows that might have elbowed their way onto this ranking had I actually had time to watch them in 2012. I can only imagine the heart-wrenching cuts I’ll have to make for the 2013 Primies if I manage to watch them all this year — and who knows what awesome series are just around the corner. Good luck, future Dan! American Horror Story (2011: #1) Breaking Bad Damages Homeland Dexter (2011: #1) Community (2011: #7) The Good Wife (2011: #2) Parks and Recreation (2011: #8) Mad Men Modern Family (2011: #3) Honorable mentions: The New Normal, Girls, Nashville Possible contenders (had I seen...

The Blog Post Where Plot Twists Go to Die

By on Mar 21, 2012 in Inanities | 0 comments

Or, Everything That’s Ever Been Spoiled For Me Try as hard as I might, there’s no escaping spoilers in my role as (amateur) TV critic. As I’ve said before, I’m incapable keeping up with all the worthwhile, buzz-worthy, quality TV on the air today. And while most blogs and publications are good about preceding spoilers with warnings and burying plot reveals in the body of an article instead of leading with them, others are not so conscientious. And even with the diligent outlets, there is a statute of limitations with spoilers—at a certain point, after an arbitrary amount of time has passed, it has to be allowable to rehash and discuss major plot points without recrimination. So I don’t always blame the spoil-er for the spoiling; I just regret that it happened (unless I just don’t care). At the risk of paying the sin forward, here are all the twists...

Shit My Boyfriend Says

By on Feb 1, 2012 in Inanities | 0 comments

or, A Television-Related Word Association Experiment With the Love of My Life Here’s a list of every current show I watch, and my boyfriend’s instant reaction to each. 30 Rock “Oh, Tina Fey…” (smiles) American Horror Story “Thrills me.” Boardwalk Empire “Costumes…” Breaking Bad “Oh, I don’t know.  I don’t know.  Come back to me with that one.” Burn Notice “Never saw it… oh, but that guy is hot.” Californication “Gah… can’t get into it… but I want to.” Community “Growing on me.” Cougar Town “Stupid.” Covert Affairs “Oh, Piper Peek-a-boo.  That’s what my dad calls her… looks pretty stupid, though.  It looks like a dumbed-down Alias, if Alias could be any dumber.” Curb Your Enthusiasm “I hate...

2010 Primies: Best Episodes

By on Jan 23, 2011 in The Primies | 0 comments

It’s often hard to remember all of the television I watch every year, but some episodes make themselves impossible to forget. The following hours or half-hours of television were exemplary in some way, whether it was for the writing or the direction of the episode; for the way they ended seasons or, in some cases, entire series; for their plots or subplots; for the emotional toll they took on the viewer; for the way they broke the mold and parted with tradition; or sometimes for just one scene or performance in particular. Lost “The End” (Parts 1 & 2) … for providing an unexpected, moving, and controversial finale sure to keep fans talking, dissecting, and criticizing for years to come. Grey’s Anatomy “Sanctuary/Death and All His Friends” … for the tensest, most emotionally-draining two hours of television this year. Breaking Bad...