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Completist destiny: Shows I’ve watched beginning to end

By on Jul 3, 2014 in Inner Monologues | 0 comments

Completist Destiny, as defined by Wikipedia, is the belief that a television addict such as myself is destined—nay, divinely ordained—to watch a series completely and completely chronologically. Fine, I admit: that might just be a dogma of my own creation. But I stick to it. (This is where you, in solidarity, shout, “Leave no episode behind!”) Of course, I have to compromise sometimes, like when networks boneheadedly air episodes out of order, or when I’m watching TV with someone who’s not as obsessive-compulsive devoted to the intended chronology as I am. Anyway, I was thinking today about the series I’ve watched in their entireties—i.e. series for which I’ve seen every episode made available. Here they all are, from the most prolific to the shortest-lived… and even the ones I’m not so proud I watched! The X-Files (205 episodes)...

The Blog Post Where Plot Twists Go to Die

By on Mar 21, 2012 in Inanities | 0 comments

Or, Everything That’s Ever Been Spoiled For Me Try as hard as I might, there’s no escaping spoilers in my role as (amateur) TV critic. As I’ve said before, I’m incapable keeping up with all the worthwhile, buzz-worthy, quality TV on the air today. And while most blogs and publications are good about preceding spoilers with warnings and burying plot reveals in the body of an article instead of leading with them, others are not so conscientious. And even with the diligent outlets, there is a statute of limitations with spoilers—at a certain point, after an arbitrary amount of time has passed, it has to be allowable to rehash and discuss major plot points without recrimination. So I don’t always blame the spoil-er for the spoiling; I just regret that it happened (unless I just don’t care). At the risk of paying the sin forward, here are all the twists...

Don’t Cry for “Glee,” Argentina

By on Jul 11, 2011 in Inner Monologues | 0 comments

Glee creator Ryan Murphy’s announcement that the McKinley kids would be graduating and leaving the show at the end of this upcoming season (stated with a “isn’t-this-totes-obvs?” tone) caused a stir surprising to even Murphy himself. Gleeks are practically worked up into a lather of separation anxiety. And it makes sense: no one is excited about the prospect of Glee devoid of Rachel’s self-aggrandizing, Finn’s lumbering dance moves, Mercedes’s vocal runs, and Brittany’s non sequiturs. But his rationale is valid. Unless the show abandoned all pretense at realism (and it’s already halfway there with the rock-concert-worthy production values that accompany each performance), it’d be hard to draw out the chronology enough to allow the characters to stay at McKinley for any more seasons. But Gleeks need not worry. The original...

The Everywhere Actors

By on Aug 15, 2009 in Tinseltown | 0 comments

When you watch as much television as I do, you see familiar faces all the time, and then you have to ask yourself (or IMDb), “Where have I seen him/her before?” For example, I’m watching the first season of House, and I’ve recognized guest stars from elsewhere in thirteen of the first fifteen episodes. And then there are actors like Michelle Forbes and Željko Ivanek who show up on many of my favorite series. The phenomenon came to a head recently when I saw both of them on the same episode of True Blood. Pictured above is Forbes in the roles she’s played in some of my favorite shows. From left to right: presidential advisor Lynne Kresge on 24, Oceanic Airlines representative Karen Decker on Lost, tough-as-nails admiral Helena Cain on Battlestar Galactica, beleaguered wife Kate on In Treatment, “social worker”/maenad Maryann Forrester on True...

Give These Actors a Take Two!

By on Aug 1, 2009 in Tinseltown | 1 comment

The following post was originally published on my old blog on March 29, 2009. The following actors are all alumni of some of my favorite shows, and I want them back on television. Post haste! Merrin Dungey Dungey is one of my beloved Alias actors and probably one of the most under-appreciated. She spent two seasons playing Francie Calfo and then made a couple of repeat performances later in the series. She spent two seasons on the sudsy, frothy mess known as Summerland. And then good news! She was cast as Addison Montgomery’s best friend Naomi Bennett in the backdoor pilot for Private Practice. And then bad news! She was replaced by Audra McDonald for the actual series. Even though McDonald seems perfect for the part of Naomi, Dungey needs a role elsewhere. Gillian Anderson I don’t care if she’s playing Dana Scully or not, Anderson should return to American...