New Show Haiku

By on Dec 6, 2011 in Inanities | 0 comments

Like every other reputable TV critic, I’ve seen absolutely none of this season’s crop of new shows, except for the first episode and a half of New Girl. (Cut a guy some slack; we’ve been trying to slash Dexter from my to-watch list.) So since there’s no time like the holidays for frivolity, let me recklessly and unfairly pass judgment on all the broadcast network’s new scripted offerings… in haiku form! Bonus: Watch as my poetic form deteriorates toward the end of the post! Charlie’s Angels Lame reboot; no buzz Not even Minka Kelley could save these Angels Pan Am Flight attendant? Hah! You call her “stewardess” Or just say “Ricci.” How To Be a Gentleman In laugh-less sitcom, One guy is Johnny Drama, Other’s just up-tight Allen Gregory I’m not sure what makes This Jonah-Hill-voiced kid Diff’rent than...

2011 Pilot Watch: The Best of the Winners

By on May 27, 2011 in Tinseltown | 0 comments

The tribe has spoken. The networks have voted. And this development season’s pilots have either received series orders or have been all but forgotten about. After watching clips of (or, at least, reading synopses of) the new shows, I’ve decided which shows I can’t wait to check out. (And my track record is pretty great: only two-thirds of the shows I recommended last year were cancelled! Hey!) Alcatraz Another in a proud line of mysterious dramas from J.J. Abrams, FOX’s Alcatraz deals with the sudden reappearance of prisoners and guards who had disappeared three decades prior. I’d be excited for the Abrams-ness of it all, but it also features an enviable cast (Lost‘s Jorge Garcia, Jurassic Park‘s Sam Neill, ER‘s Parminder Nagra). Apartment 23 ABC’s roommate-from-hell comedy works because Krysten Ritter (Veronica Mars) is...