‘Tis the season for development, and Lynette Rice at EW.com has released a list of the pilots the broadcast networks are considering. (Bear in mind that only a fraction of these shows will make it to the airwaves.) After perusing the list, I’ve reached the following conclusions:

• The public’s desire for shows about cops, doctors, and lawyers is still insatiable. By my count, 25 of the pilots are about these three professions. But some of these procedurals might be worth watching because of the attached talent: Forest Whitaker is heading up CBS’s Criminal Minds spin-off, NBC is pursuing Julianne Moore for their adaptation of BBC’s Prime Suspect, and Katee Sackhoff (Battlestar Galactica, 24) will star in a yet-to-be-titled detective series.
• Multi-camera comedies are coming in droves. If the term “multi-camera” doesn’t ring a bell, it refers to the traditional type of sitcom with live (or implied) audiences, three-sided sets, and cue cards. Seinfeld is a multi-camera comedy, whereas 30 Rock is a single-camera one. After the critical success of 30 Rock, there was high demand for single-camera comedies, but now it looks like the trend is reversing, probably because multi-camera ones are cheaper to produce. The multis on the development slate outnumber the singles 21 to 12. This disappoints me. I have a knee-jerk disgust to the very word “multi-camera.” I don’t like for the canned laughter, the fake-looking sets, the bland lighting, and—often times—the type of comedy itself. I know good work is being done on sitcoms like How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory, but I just haven’t been able to get into them. I’m not even making much headway on Seinfeld.
• The remake fever might not be a the pitch it was a couple of seasons ago, but we still have a few. CBS is updating Hawaii Five-O with Lost’s Daniel Dae Kim and Moonlight’s Alex O’Loughlin. NBC is taking another stab at The Rockford Files, this time under the direction of David Shore (House). And, interestingly, the CW is producing Nikita, an adaptation of La Femme Nikita.
• Spies and the CIA are once again in vogue. Now this is a trend I can get behind, mainly due to my undying love for Alias. All of the espionage series on the slate sound intriguing. CBS’s Chaos has Freddy Rodriguez heading up a “ragtag group of CIA operatives ensnared by backstabbing and bureaucratic snafus.” Fox’s The Station is a single-camera (huzzah!) comedy focusing on a “covert CIA operative and his work buddies embedded in South America.” Even the CW is getting in on the action with Nomads, a drama about “free-spirited” backpackers who carry out CIA missions around the world. But the pilot that I’m most excited about bar none is Undercovers, an NBC drama about married spies who pulled back into service. Why am I pumped? It’s created by my hero, god-among-men J.J. Abrams.
• Remember the 2005-2006 season when everyone wanted a piece of delicious Lost pie? Now everyone seemingly wants to replicate the critical and commercial success of Modern Family. ABC’s It Takes a Village and NBC’s Perfect Couples and Love Bites are all about various couples and their various intersections and intertwinings. I’m thanking God that Love Bites isn’t the name of another vampire series.
• I kind of miss the Lost knock-off trend, though. I want more heavily-serialized stuff, like this season’s intriguingV and FlashForward. There’s only one enigmatic-sounding pilot on the list, NBC’s The Event, a “thriller about a regular Joe caught up in a large conspiracy.”
• We may have dodged a bullet on Love Bites, but terrible names abound elsewhere. Some names are yawningly on-the-nose (Friends with Benefits), some are pun-ishing (Strange Brew—a brewery comedy), some have unfortunate connotations (The Wyoming Project, which brings to mind The Laramie Project), and some are just bizarre (Edgar Floats—a type of inner tube or a soda-fountain treat?). The worst one, however, is The Quinn-Tuplets. Naming characters to serve a pun in the title is a practice that needs to end. I’m still not convinced that Meredith Grey was so-named before the show was christened Grey’s Anatomy.
• Shonda Rhimes’ new show Off the Map is, once again, about doctors (presumably) in love. Okay, Shonda, you have a formula that works—I understand. But what’s neato about this ABC pilot is that it’s being filmed in Puerto Rico. As much as I love Los Angeles, New York City, and Vancouver (woohoo!), I appreciate when a show is filmed in the actual place (like Breaking Bad, which is filmed in New Mexico) or a reasonable stand-in (like Lost and Hawaii).
• There are two dramas about superheroes, NBC’s The Cape and ABC’s No Ordinary Family, the latter of which marks the small-screen return of The Shield’s Michael Chiklis.
• The rotten banana of the bunch seems to be Chuck Lorre’s latest sitcom for CBS, Mike and Molly, about “a couple that overeats.” If that right there is the punchline for the whole show, it sounds abysmally bad. As much as Eddie Murphy might disagree with me, obesity isn’t that funny, especially in today’s America.
• But on the other end of spectrum are pilots that seem quite promising. Reno 911! creators and Night at the Museum scribes Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant are producing a sitcom for NBC about a ex-child star who opens a bar in Vegas. ABC has a drama pilot in the works called Matadors, which centers on two feuding Chicago families and stars David Strathairn (of Good Night, and Good Luck fame). And the Alphabet Network is also developing a comedy called Mr. Sunshine starring Matthew Perry as a “self-absorbed manager of a sport arena” and co-starring Allison Janney. (Both of those stars previously guest-starred on each other’s Aaron Sorkin show, Perry on Janney’s The West Wing, and Janney or Perry’s Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.)

Of course, everything is subject to change before May, when the networks present the shows that survive this phase to the advertisers at their “upfront” events. That’s when all this speculation will end, and hopefully by then the wheat will be separated from the (ahem, Mike and Molly) chaff.

Because it’s the end of the year (and of the decade), every TV critic is releasing best-of lists. And I am no exception, though small-potatoes I may be. Ergo I announce the First Annual Primie Awards! And the first category honors the 15 characters whom I appreciate most, in descending order of awesomeness. Frankly, the shows below would just be suckier without them!

1. Sue Sylvester (Glee) When Sue swaggers onscreen in one of her splashy tracksuits, you know that she’s say something both wildly inappropriate and gut-bustingly funny. The malicious comments she deploys in her jihad against McKinley High’s glee club almost makes you root for her. Played by Jane Lynch.
2. Ron Swanson (Parks and Recreation) The reluctant supervisor of Pawnee’s parks department had a breakout season that had him facing off with his domineering ex, presiding over the breakfast buffet at a strip club, enjoying a shoe-shining a bit too much, and having his scalp leaded with buckshot. Played by Nick Offerman.
3. Walter Bishop (Fringe) Last season, we saw the charming kookiness behind Walter’s mad-scientist-ness.  Now we’re seeing the vulnerability behind that charming kookiness. What layer will be unearthed next? Played by John Noble.
4. Starbuck (Battlestar Galactica) Love her or hate her, you have to acknowledge that Starbuck’s so-called destiny directly influenced the fate of humankind… in a way that’s very open to interpretation. Played by Katee Sackhoff.
5. Manny Delgado (Modern Family) One of the youngest and yet most mature members of the Pritchett clan, Manny is wise beyond his years—and quite the fencer, too. Played by Rico Rodriguez.
6. Benjamin Linus (Lost) In a show that specializes in shades of gray, it’s no surprise that Ben isn’t relentlessly villainous. We’ve seen glimpses of his humanity. But just before we start to like him, he does something like staging a character’s suicide—and we’re reminded of how much we hate him (and love to hate him). Played by Michael Emerson.
7. Arizona Robbins (Grey’s Anatomy) She’s often viewed as the happy-go-lucky pediatrics doc, but between her anguish over little Wallace and her blurting out “I love you” to Callie in the episode “Invest in Love,” she won me over. Played by Jessica Capshaw.
8. Troy/Abed (Community) Some of the funniest moments of Community came in the final minute of each episode when the credits were rolling—an end tag that became the Troy and Abed Show after the hilarious Spanish 101 rap (a.k.a. “La Biblioteca”). Community has been uneven so far, but Troy and Abed represent reliable comedy. Comedy you can believe in! Played by Danny Pudi and Donald Glover, respectively.
9. Saul Tigh (Battlestar Galactica) For reasons too spoilery to reveal here, ole One Eye Tigh had some of the most tumultuous internal conflict in Battlestar’s final season. Let’s just say that he found himself intimately associated with those who were once his enemies. Played by Michael Hogan.
10. Jenna Maroney (30 Rock) Ditzy fame-whore Jenna is everything that Liz Lemon isn’t, but just as much of a dysfunctional human. Her constant oversharing gives us mere glimpses into her bizarre life. (For example: “The reason I speak with a slight English inflection in my voice is because I lost my virginity to the My Fair Lady soundtrack.”) Played by Jane Krakowski.
11. Lester Patel (Chuck) Lester went from neurotic tech nerd to neurotic tech nerd and rock star with the debut of cover band Jeffster, performing awesomely bad versions of 80s classics like “Africa” and “Mr. Roboto.” True, Lester is only one half of Jeffster, but his bandmate Jeff is just too out-there for this list! Played by Vik Sahay.
12. Victor (Dollhouse) Besides a few face slashes here or there, Victor is the doll with the most fun: his “imprints” involve bedding boss Adelle DeWitt, acting like an exact clone of tech-whiz Topher, or channeling his inner sorority girl. And hey, those cuts healed remarkably fast, didn’t they? Played by Enver Gjokaj.
13. Hoyt Fortenberry (True Blood) As one of the only truly good residents of Bon Temps, Hoyt became more than just a background player this season when he fell in love with newly-vampirized Jessica, much to the dismay of his oppressively devout mother. His evolution from (momma’s) boy to man was great to see. Played by Jim Parrack.
14. Walter White, Jr. (Breaking Bad) His relationship with his emotionally-elusive dad is tenuous, but Junior still went to incredible (and touching) lengths last season to raise money for Senior’s cancer care. Played by R.J. Mitte.
15. Anna (V) Leader of the Visitors, Anna is alternately calculating, eloquent, manipulative, and alluring. A wolf in sheep’s (well-tailored) clothing. Played by Morena Baccarin.

Note: The following post first appeared as an article by the same name in The Climax, Hampshire College’s newspaper. Also, some of these micro-reviews may exceed 140 characters—my bad!

I am a student of television. Writing television scripts is my Division III [a senior project, in Hampshire speak]. So I have no shame in the fact that I watch all of the shows below religiously. I study the craft, folks. That’s a lie—I am ashamed of some of them, but I’m feeling forthright in my fourth-year-ness. Anyway, I only assumed that I couldn’t review all my shows for The Climax before I graduate. And then it occurred to me: I could review each in 140 characters or less. (Arbitrary number, I swear.)

• 24 Some seasons fire on all cylinders, and some make you want to shoot yourself in the kneecap. But I’m still a fan of the Bauer Power Hour.
• 30 Rock Is Tina Fey God? Even if not, this show is in my pantheon. 22 Emmy nominations this year alone. What the what?
• The Amazing Race A competition show and a geography lesson all in one. Plus the race just looks like such a globetrotting thrill.
• Breaking Bad Brilliance you’ve likely never seen. Bryan Cranston (as a reluctant meth dealer) and Aaron Paul (as his witless lackey) are a wondrous team.
• Brothers & Sisters Created by playwright Jon Robin Baitz, powerful character drama pervades this series about the virtues and frustrations of family life.
• Burn Notice Ex-spy Michael Westen is a MacGyver for the new century. Plus he narrates his creative process! Plus Bruce Campbell plays the sidekick!
• Californication Man-child Hank Moody is David Duchovny’s (comedic) role of a lifetime. And the show featured Hampshire band Bubonic Souls last week.
• Chuck Put a self-described nerd in a world of government conspiracies and sexy secret agents, and hilarity ensues. Such a lovable show.
• Community A comedy about a community college study group that’s not quite up to snuff but getting better each week.
• Curb Your Enthusiasm Schadenfreude at a fever pitch. Larry David is such an incorrigible ass, but you can’t help siding with him in all of his curmudgeonliness.
• Damages Vicious legal thriller with Glenn Close and Rose Byrne. Season 2′s powerhouse cast included William Hurt, Marcia Gay Harden, and Ted Danson.
• Desperate Housewives What do I have in common with middle-aged, lovelorn women? Uh, not much. But this show is still a fun look at the seediness of the suburbs.
• Dollhouse Engineered personalities, ethical perversions, and intense action make this (cancelled) show radically different. Well done, Joss Whedon.
• Entourage Not the sharpest tool in the shed, but still a comical insight into the biz and a testament to lifelong friendship. (“Lloyd!”)
• FlashForward An ambitious fate-vs.-free-will drama with a laudable cast. But can its premise sustain it for more than this season?
• Flashpoint This Canadian import, about a hostage negotiation team in Toronto, is edge-of-your-seat tense. Plus Veronica Mars’s dad is the lead!
• Fringe Like The X-Files, only with a more mind-warping mythology and the addition of one raving-mad, madly-funny scientist. Freaky good times had by all.
• Glee This high-school satire is so much fun, thanks to a stellar cast, its show-stopping covers of pop songs, and the incomparable Jane Lynch.
• The Good Wife What makes this legal drama intriguing is that the protagonist—played by Julianna Margulies—is the jilted wife of an adulterous politician.
• Gossip Girl Used to be a salacious indulgence. But they had to match everyone up in an endless cycle of hook-ups and break-ups. What a mess.
• Greek If Gossip Girl had a sharper, wittier, more accessible, yet less popular twin sister, her name would be Greek.
• Grey’s Anatomy Melodramatic, yes, but the relationship drama is sophisticated and smartly executed. But its hard to watch if you’re single, dammit!
• Heroes Holy Hiro, what the hell happened to this show? This once-great serial has suffered bloated storylines and botched mythology. Shut it down.
• Lost The most revolutionary show on this list, nay, of the decade. Season 5 was a creative resurgence that was so awesomely challenging to watch.
• Lie to Me An unconventional procedural drama that’s proven to be surprisingly un-formulaic. And Tim Roth doesn’t even have to use an American accent!
• Mad Men If you’re not in love with this elegant, introspective, and smoldering drama, you just haven’t seen enough of it.
• Men of a Certain Age Three old friends have midlife revelations. This show just started, but I like what I’ve seen. It’s like Garden State—plus twenty years.
• Modern Family Funniest new show of the season. Believe it.
• Nip/Tuck Not as deeply cutting as it was in its youth, but now it’s superficially fun and bat-shit crazy. Can’t complain too much.
• The Office Just when I think it has lost its mojo, it pulls a “Koi Pond” episode or “Subtle Sexuality” webisode to remind us all of its wit.
• Parks and Recreation Started off as an Office clone but came back roaring in its second season. Now it rivals its predecessor for laughs.
• Private Practice A spectacular cast and interesting storylines, but I still wish Addison would go back to Seattle Grace. Maybe everyone can go along!
• Project Runway I’m probably not the right demographic for this catty show, but who cares. I just hope Tim Gunn would approve of my wardrobe.
• Smallville Never “super” but never terrible, Smallville is reliable entertainment even after eight years. One of the only good things the CW can offer.
• So You Think You Can Dance The most legit and diverse dance competition. The talent gets more absurd each season. YouTube “Ellenore & Jakob – Contemporary” for proof.
• Top Chef In a world of hamburger reality shows, Top Chef is a filet mignon with escargot, grilled ramps, chanterelle mushrooms and yuzu—i.e. refined.
• Top Chef Masters The nation’s top chefs compete. Of course it’s good.
• True Blood I reviewed this show already this semester! Suffice it to say, it’s addictive.
• Ugly Betty In this refreshing comedic drama, Betty maintains a beautiful can-do spirit as she navigates the (hilariously) bitchy world of fashion.
• V This series about tensions between humans and alien “Visitors” is off to a promising start, but lamely, we only get four episodes this year.
• Warehouse 13 Undecided about this show. I dig the whole “America’s attic” notion and the leads’ chemistry, but some of the episodes have been, uh, hokey.

Here are the latest news items from the idiot-box world:

• Lost finally has a return date—the final season will premiere with a two-hour installment on Tuesday, February 2, at 9/8c on ABC.
• Chuck‘s return date was also announced today. The action-comedy will return with two episodes on Sunday, January 10, and then another one the following night as it settles into its normal timeslot of Mondays at 8/7c. The show was on the brink of cancellation this past spring until fans rallied to show their support. NBC gave the show another vote of confidence a few weeks ago when it upped its order from 13 episodes to 19.
• ABC has released some neat-o promo images for V showing the Visitors’ motherships hovering above the world’s metropolitan centers. One is shown above, and you can view the rest at io9.
• Just as I was wondering where Smallville actor Sam Jones, III has been all this time, here comes the news that the guy has been arrested and charged with conspiring to sell 10,000 Oxycodone pills. Bad for him, but good for my web traffic. Thanks, Sam!
• Cop drama Southland, a show NBC cancelled before its second season had premiered, has been resurrected by TNT. The new season will premiere on Tuesday, January 12, at 10/9c.
• Oprah Winfrey will announce tomorrow that The Oprah Winfrey Show will end after its 2010-2011 season. She currently has a deal in place with Discovery Communications to turn Discovery Health Channel into OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network.
• Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, seen sharing the screen last season on 30 Rock, will co-host next year’s Academy Awards ceremony. Other celebs considered for the emcee gig include Tina Fey, Ben Stiller, and Robert Downey, Jr.
• In other hosting news, Ricky Gervais will finally get his moment in the award-show spotlight when he hosts next year’s Golden Globes. Gervais, the creator and star of the UK version of The Office, has been a mainstay at the recent Oscar and Emmy ceremonies and always has the crowd in stitches.
• Bravo has announced another season of Top Chef Masters along with another spinoff Top Chef: Just Desserts (which I’m a little skeptical of). And Top Chef Junior is apparently still in development.
• Since my last news brief, Trauma, Eastwick, Hank have all been cancelled. But the most tragic axing of them all was Dollhouse. (Expect a write-up soon.)
• For whatever reason, The Weather Channel has decided to air movies on Friday nights. The selections range from the understandable (The Perfect Storm) to the unexplainable (Deep Blue Sea). I know; I don’t get it either.

First off, forgive me for not updating sooner.  My laptop computer apparently aired its series finale, so to speak, and my internet access has been limited. But TV shows go on, blog or no blog, so this show must go on!

In a little over an hour, the final show to make a fall premiere will make its debut: V on ABC. Just another example in the everything-old-is-new-again trend, V is a reimagined version of a miniseries-turned-sequel-miniseries-turned-series that NBC aired 25 years ago. In those productions, the “Visitors” were reptilian aliens who made camp above the world’s major cities and attempted a hostile takeover. And, by all reports, the shows were campy fun with an emphasis on the campy. (I hear the aliens ate guinea pigs…?)

The remake seems pretty similar, if perhaps a bit more serious. The motherships swoop in and play videos on huge jumbotrons in which a pleasant spokesperson (Firefly’s Morena Baccarin) tells humanity, “Do not be afraid,” and, “We are of peace.” Elizabeth Mitchell (Juliet from Lost) plays an FBI agent who, with the help of a rogue Visitor agent (Morris Chestnut, Boyz N the Hood), discovers that the aliens have been here for quite some time, priming the pump for a takeover. But her son is one of scores of people swayed to the “dark side” by the seemingly-benevolent beings. (That dupe!) So a debate arises between the people impressed by pretty faces and cool technology and the small faction of people who know better.

I wonder how this story will fare riding, as it does, on the coattails of this summer’s District 9, which explored similar themes. I don’t think that will make or break the show, though: V seems different enough. My hope is that it goes the Battlestar route: using science fiction as a way to discuss political and social issues facing society today. And if a few guinea pigs lose their lives in the process, so be it.

V airs tonight at 8/7c on ABC and will be available on Hulu.