Now that we’ve seen what shows will be on the air come fall, let’s get out our hankies and share a moment of silence for those that won’t—or, at least, those that sounded promising. It seems unlikely that any of the series below will make it to our living rooms, and that’s a damn shame. Not having seen a frame of any of these shows, I base my judgment solely on the synopses and cast information. Yes, I am a by-the-cover book-judger.
- The Rockford Files Wha’ happen? This show had so much buzz going into pilot season. People love them a good remake, and this one seemed likely to fit the bill. Re-imagined by House creator David Shore, this version starred Dermot Mulroney (The Family Stone), Beau Bridges (The Fabulous Baker Boys), and the effin’ ineffable Alan Tudyk (Firefly). So why did NBC give it the ole heave-ho?
- Untitled Medical Project First of all, who wouldn’t watch a show called Untitled Medical Project? John Wells, you rebel! But seriously, I know we already have umpteen medical shows on the air. (Well, umpteen minus Trauma, Mercy, Three Rivers, and Miami Medical. Peace out, guys!) But what set this one out from the pack is its cast, which I can only describe as eclectic. Sissy Spacek (In the Bedroom), Janeane Garafalo (Reality Bites, other greatness), Skeet Ulrich (Jericho), Amy Smart (The Butterfly Effect), and Jay Hernandez (World Trade Center). I think that lineup sounds more awesome than CBS gave it credit for.
- Cutthroat “By all appearances, Nina Cabrera has a perfect life: a fantastic home in Beverly Hills, three beautiful children, great cars, great clothes. But… Nina Cabrera is also running a multi-million dollar Mexican crime syndicate.” So this ABC drama was like Weeds, but with crime instead of… weed. But with cast members like Mia Maestro (Alias), Peggy Lipton (Twin Peaks), and Francis Capra (Veronica Mars), I could have dug it.
- Tax Man This multi-camera sitcom revolved around the titular character trying to justify his reviled job, and I say kudos for trying to make a mundane setting like the IRS funny. Plus, awesome cast: Martin Short (SCTV), David Krumholtz (Numb3rs), Kerri Kenney (Reno 911!), Judy Greer (Arrested Development), and Orlando Jones (MADtv). But it must not have been funny enough for FOX’s standards. Alas.
- Our Show This single-camera comedy had one of the best premises I’ve ever heard—and one that I wish I had conceived, damn it! In this single-camera comedy, “a group of sci-fi fanboys in a small town shoot their own version of a canceled TV show.” Maybe it’s better that NBC didn’t pick this up, though—because had it gone on-air and then been canceled, would small-town fanboys have tried to shoot their own version of Our Show? Ah, the exponential meta-ness!
- The Strip This NBC sitcom focused on “a former child star turned Hooters-style bar owner on the outskirts of Las Vegas.” Funny enough premise, but it comes from the minds of Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant, who were genius enough to come up with Reno 911! (The exclamation point is part of the show title. No, really. But I probably would have added it in anyway.) They also starred in the pilot along with former Reno co-star Cedric Yarbrough and former MTV VJ Dave Holmes, who incidentally also appeared on Reno. Bring on the next great Nevada comedy, guys!
- Nomads I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I’m excited about any show about the CIA. Even if the premise—broke, young backpackers earning money by doing covert missions—is wildly implausible. However, the CW, in its infinite wisdom (and yes, I’m still bitter about the untimely end of Veronica Mars), decided not to let us see how this one played out. Because they apparently needed that hour for Shedding for the Wedding. Ugh.
- Beach Lane Matthew Broderick. Small-town newspaper. Irresponsible millionaires. The Hamptons. Sounds like an enjoyable show to me. But NBC wasn’t on board.
- Matadors ABC described this show as a “sexy, absorbing legal procedural with epic sweep and a powerful Romeo and Juliet love story at its heart.” (Procedural? Sexy? ¿Qué?) Again, I turn to the cast: David Strathairn (amazing in Good Night, and Good Luck), Zach Gilford (apparently amazing in Friday Night Lights), Stephen Lang (bad-ass in Avatar), and Kiele Sanchez (eh, not so likable in Lost).
- The Station Hey, reader, remember when I said above that I’ll watch any show about the CIA? This one, though, is a bit kooky. FOX described it as a “workplace comedy which takes place in a covert CIA office in South America.” What an improbable mix of words in that sentence! I was intrigued. FOX wasn’t. (Even with John Goodman in the cast.)